October 31, 2021

Tales of mystery and imagination


Goblins gonna get ya

 Little Orphant Annie

James Whitcomb Riley

Little Orphan Annie’s come to my house to stay.
To wash the cups and saucers up and brush the crumbs away.
To shoo the chickens from the porch and dust the hearth and sweep,
and make the fire and bake the bread to earn her board and keep.
While all us other children, when the supper things is done,
we sit around the kitchen fire and has the mostest fun,
a listening to the witch tales that Annie tells about
and the goblins will get ya if ya don’t watch out!
Once there was a little boy who wouldn’t say his prayers,
and when he went to bed at night away up stairs,
his mammy heard him holler and his daddy heard him bawl,
and when they turned the covers down, he wasn’t there at all!
They searched him in the attic room and cubby hole and press
and even up the chimney flu and every wheres, I guess,
but all they ever found of him was just his pants and round-abouts
and the goblins will get ya if ya don’t watch out!!Once there was a little girl who always laughed and grinned
and made fun of everyone, of all her blood and kin,
and once when there was company and old folks was there,
she mocked them and she shocked them and said, she didn’t care.
And just as she turned on her heels to go and run and hide,
there was two great big black things a standing by her side.
They snatched her through the ceiling fore she knew what shes about,
and the goblins will get ya if ya don’t watch out!!
When the night is dark and scary, and the moon is full
and creatures are a flying and the wind goes Whoooooooooo,
you better mind your parents and your teachers fond and dear,
and cherish them that loves ya, and dry the orphans tears
and help the poor and needy ones that cluster all about,
or the goblins will get ya if ya don’t watch out!!!

October 30, 2021

What’s a few hundred billion among friends?

The Democrats are talking about what they call “infrastructure” bills. Only one sorta deals with roads and bridges and such (it’s loaded with pork too). The other is no more than a socialist wish list - green energy, free money to some people, programs, and favors to lobbies. Bernie wanted to spend 6 trillion. The Progressive wing will settle for a tad over 3 trillion. Biden might compromise for 2 trillion.

Do those people grasp just how much money that is?

I wrote a post describing the mountains of debt that tried to put it into perspective. It was a decade ago, so some of the references are dated, but I hope it helps describe just how much money a trillion dollars is:

June 7, 2011

Mountains of Pennies

We are a little numb to huge dollar figures these days. When lotteries and game shows give away millions we tend to think that is not much money. It is.

When the press discusses Government finance we are faced with terms like billion and trillion. I just cannot get my mind around Obama's projected debt total of more than 14 trillion dollars. I am no math whiz. I am no financial whiz either. So I sat down with a pencil and paper and tried to put Government spending into a term I could understand.

Here is the Debt: $14,500,000,000,000.

To better understand this amount, I have tried to shrink these huge amounts into a monetary figure I could grasp. Let us say a million dollars is the same as having a penny in your pocket. We may not know a millionaire, but we all understand that having a cold hard million in specie huddling down with the lint in your right front pocket would be a lot of money. So if you were a millionaire you would have a penny. 

If you have the investment savvy of Hillary Clinton you might increase that million dollars into one hundred million. Maybe your Fat in Indiana stock split or something. Instead of that shiny penny smell you would now have a crisp new one dollar bill to buy some Fritos or pass to a sweaty stripper.

You have that dollar which represents one hundred million. You are rich in a professional athlete way, but you want NFL owner type wealth.  You want to be a billionaire. You trade that shiny one dollar bill for a ten-spot and you now are a billionaire. Just think, with a few shiny pennies you have millions, but it takes a sawbuck with a picture of Hamilton to be a billionaire! Yep if you had Bill Gates' wealth you would be worth $560! Again, compare that kind of money to a copper penny million. 

Now we are getting into real money.  Government spending amounts. Obama and the Democrats saddled us with a $750 billion stimulus bill. Unemployment has remained steady, the value of the dollar has dropped, food and gas prices are souring. How much is 750 billion in our little currency game? As a millionaire you had a penny.  If you could pocket the stimulus you would have a check for $7,500 in your wallet. You could buy a used car for your teenager with that kind of cash. You could fill up your SUV with premium. Seriously, most Americans do not make that much money in a month.

Finally, we get to real money. The kind of debt the government has saddled us with. The kind of money our kids and grandkids are going to have to pony up. If We The People were playing penny ante poker, the pot just grew from a couple of pennies to $140,000! That is correct. If we make pennies in our lifetime, the Government spends the equivalent of the price for a cheap ranch prefab house in the country. 

As I said, I am no math genius. How many people like Bill Gates would have to be taxed the entirety of their holdings -- $560 to come up with $140,000? I am telling you, there ain't enough rich people. So tell me again we need another stimulus. Explain to me how we are going to get out of this mess without some serious across-the-board spending cuts. If you have a mortgage of $140,000 and only have a penny in your pocket you have some real issues. You cannot spend your way out of debt. You can't borrow your way out of debt. Most of us will earn a few pennies at best in our lifetime -- if we are lucky. Compare that penny to what Obama and the politicians from both parties have spent. We are not talking hope and pocket change here.

Will you sleep better tonight?

October 28, 2021

What the fuck?

 Biden administration in talks to give illegal immigrants separated from their families $450,000 PER PERSON.

OMG.  Read here. Remove breakables from reach

Sorry. I’m trying hard not to swear, but this is beyond fucking ridiculous.



Per my post from a couple of days ago

This is my X-ray from Monday morning 

Kinda gruesome overall isn’t it. And yes, that is how big the screw in my foot is

October 27, 2021

Dodged a Bullet

I thought I published a post last evening. 


It was there in all of its incoherent glory in draft form. I’m glad I didn’t hit publish. You would have thought I was really crazy had that garbage been thrown out into the blogosphere. Clearly, I was falling asleep at the end since the final lines were a long series of “vvvvvvvvvvvvv…” . Yeah, that kind of post. 

Look, I wish I had something of interest to offer up. I haven’t been listening to talk radio. I’ve been locked in on audio books the past few weeks while driving.  So no politics. I doubt you mind. 

Unless you want a lecture on something boring like the Napoleonic wars, then I don’t have much to offer. 

Bear with me. These funks always pass. 

So far.

October 25, 2021

Not what I want to hear

 I found myself at the doctor this morning. It wasn’t by accident. It was a previously scheduled surgical follow up. It seems my broken foot is still broken. Perhaps “not healed as much as we would like” was more akin to the diagnosis. 

Well, thinks I, I’ve always been a bit slow. Although generally I heal fairly quickly. Except, I have to venture, my right foot. Anyway that explains my pain, swelling, and limp. 

We will re-evaluate in six weeks.

Happy Monday, indeed.

October 24, 2021

What the heck were they thinking?

 I don’t care what Ford says. This is not a Mustang:

That is an abomination. It is an SUV for goodness sake. Taillights don’t make a car. This…thing…is the very antithesis of what the original Mustang represented:

Lee Iacocca is weeping.

We had a 64 Mustang exactly like that second one. Honey gold and all. Four of us rode to California and back in it. Dad installed seatbelts in the back seat. We still had it when I first started to learn how to drive. 

I doubt anyone keeps that electric SUV imposter for 20 years.

Edit. Ok, that is weird. I had over 10K hits last night, as in 10,400. What the bots were looking for, I don’t know. I’ve certainly written nothing of interest, that is for sure. The hits did not come on any particular post either.  Normally, about forty of you look at a given post. This is great and strange and going to screw my numbers for a while. Thank you mysterious Safari bot.

Fat in Indiana

Jun 30, 2010, 8:00:00 PM6,633
Jul 31, 2010, 8:00:00 PM6,469
Aug 31, 2010, 8:00:00 PM5,396
Sep 30, 2010, 8:00:00 PM5,999
Oct 31, 2010, 8:00:00 PM5,678
Nov 30, 2010, 7:00:00 PM6,493
Dec 31, 2010, 7:00:00 PM5,775
Jan 31, 2011, 7:00:00 PM5,497
Feb 28, 2011, 7:00:00 PM4,755
Mar 31, 2011, 8:00:00 PM4,537
Apr 30, 2011, 8:00:00 PM4,544
May 31, 2011, 8:00:00 PM5,974
Jun 30, 2011, 8:00:00 PM4,141
Jul 31, 2011, 8:00:00 PM4,498
Aug 31, 2011, 8:00:00 PM5,016
Sep 30, 2011, 8:00:00 PM5,134
Oct 31, 2011, 8:00:00 PM5,250
Nov 30, 2011, 7:00:00 PM4,956
Dec 31, 2011, 7:00:00 PM6,438
Jan 31, 2012, 7:00:00 PM6,419
Feb 29, 2012, 7:00:00 PM5,853
Mar 31, 2012, 8:00:00 PM5,573
Apr 30, 2012, 8:00:00 PM6,164
May 31, 2012, 8:00:00 PM4,864
Jun 30, 2012, 8:00:00 PM5,862
Jul 31, 2012, 8:00:00 PM6,253
Aug 31, 2012, 8:00:00 PM6,705
Sep 30, 2012, 8:00:00 PM6,713
Oct 31, 2012, 8:00:00 PM7,429
Nov 30, 2012, 7:00:00 PM7,938
Dec 31, 2012, 7:00:00 PM7,404
Jan 31, 2013, 7:00:00 PM6,988
Feb 28, 2013, 7:00:00 PM8,310
Mar 31, 2013, 8:00:00 PM8,853
Apr 30, 2013, 8:00:00 PM6,704
May 31, 2013, 8:00:00 PM5,822
Jun 30, 2013, 8:00:00 PM5,770
Jul 31, 2013, 8:00:00 PM5,165
Aug 31, 2013, 8:00:00 PM5,643
Sep 30, 2013, 8:00:00 PM4,264
Oct 31, 2013, 8:00:00 PM3,954
Nov 30, 2013, 7:00:00 PM5,547
Dec 31, 2013, 7:00:00 PM4,928
Jan 31, 2014, 7:00:00 PM4,506
Feb 28, 2014, 7:00:00 PM6,026
Mar 31, 2014, 8:00:00 PM6,312
Apr 30, 2014, 8:00:00 PM6,449
May 31, 2014, 8:00:00 PM6,368
Jun 30, 2014, 8:00:00 PM5,257
Jul 31, 2014, 8:00:00 PM5,478
Aug 31, 2014, 8:00:00 PM6,336
Sep 30, 2014, 8:00:00 PM6,844
Oct 31, 2014, 8:00:00 PM6,896
Nov 30, 2014, 7:00:00 PM6,841
Dec 31, 2014, 7:00:00 PM6,123
Jan 31, 2015, 7:00:00 PM7,061
Feb 28, 2015, 7:00:00 PM5,911
Mar 31, 2015, 8:00:00 PM5,551
Apr 30, 2015, 8:00:00 PM4,869
May 31, 2015, 8:00:00 PM4,920
Jun 30, 2015, 8:00:00 PM5,034
Jul 31, 2015, 8:00:00 PM4,467
Aug 31, 2015, 8:00:00 PM3,058
Sep 30, 2015, 8:00:00 PM3,750
Oct 31, 2015, 8:00:00 PM3,301
Nov 30, 2015, 7:00:00 PM4,914
Dec 31, 2015, 7:00:00 PM6,521
Jan 31, 2016, 7:00:00 PM3,679
Feb 29, 2016, 7:00:00 PM3,738
Mar 31, 2016, 8:00:00 PM4,306
Apr 30, 2016, 8:00:00 PM5,270
May 31, 2016, 8:00:00 PM4,467
Jun 30, 2016, 8:00:00 PM7,827
Jul 31, 2016, 8:00:00 PM6,483
Aug 31, 2016, 8:00:00 PM4,237
Sep 30, 2016, 8:00:00 PM7,212
Oct 31, 2016, 8:00:00 PM11,182
Nov 30, 2016, 7:00:00 PM19,035
Dec 31, 2016, 7:00:00 PM14,987
Jan 31, 2017, 7:00:00 PM11,475
Feb 28, 2017, 7:00:00 PM11,936
Mar 31, 2017, 8:00:00 PM10,288
Apr 30, 2017, 8:00:00 PM10,761
May 31, 2017, 8:00:00 PM6,589
Jun 30, 2017, 8:00:00 PM8,206
Jul 31, 2017, 8:00:00 PM8,809
Aug 31, 2017, 8:00:00 PM6,980
Sep 30, 2017, 8:00:00 PM7,406
Oct 31, 2017, 8:00:00 PM5,223
Nov 30, 2017, 7:00:00 PM7,107
Dec 31, 2017, 7:00:00 PM6,510
Jan 31, 2018, 7:00:00 PM7,209
Feb 28, 2018, 7:00:00 PM7,871
Mar 31, 2018, 8:00:00 PM12,195
Apr 30, 2018, 8:00:00 PM8,664
May 31, 2018, 8:00:00 PM6,652
Jun 30, 2018, 8:00:00 PM8,613
Jul 31, 2018, 8:00:00 PM9,800
Aug 31, 2018, 8:00:00 PM11,212
Sep 30, 2018, 8:00:00 PM9,149
Oct 31, 2018, 8:00:00 PM8,261
Nov 30, 2018, 7:00:00 PM8,838
Dec 31, 2018, 7:00:00 PM15,061
Jan 31, 2019, 7:00:00 PM6,634
Feb 28, 2019, 7:00:00 PM9,241
Mar 31, 2019, 8:00:00 PM8,033
Apr 30, 2019, 8:00:00 PM6,729
May 31, 2019, 8:00:00 PM5,782
Jun 30, 2019, 8:00:00 PM6,551
Jul 31, 2019, 8:00:00 PM9,027
Aug 31, 2019, 8:00:00 PM8,202
Sep 30, 2019, 8:00:00 PM9,629
Oct 31, 2019, 8:00:00 PM9,281
Nov 30, 2019, 7:00:00 PM13,692
Dec 31, 2019, 7:00:00 PM12,997
Jan 31, 2020, 7:00:00 PM12,454
Feb 29, 2020, 7:00:00 PM11,580
Mar 31, 2020, 8:00:00 PM13,926
Apr 30, 2020, 8:00:00 PM13,782
May 31, 2020, 8:00:00 PM9,874
Jun 30, 2020, 8:00:00 PM9,554
Jul 31, 2020, 8:00:00 PM10,034
Aug 31, 2020, 8:00:00 PM8,311
Sep 30, 2020, 8:00:00 PM9,508
Oct 31, 2020, 8:00:00 PM8,563
Nov 30, 2020, 7:00:00 PM7,300
Dec 31, 2020, 7:00:00 PM7,412
Jan 31, 2021, 7:00:00 PM6,051
Feb 28, 2021, 7:00:00 PM10,380
Mar 31, 2021, 8:00:00 PM8,512
Apr 30, 2021, 8:00:00 PM13,403
May 31, 2021, 8:00:00 PM29,241
Jun 30, 2021, 8:00:00 PM25,737
Jul 31, 2021, 8:00:00 PM12,848
Aug 31, 2021, 8:00:00 PM6,424
Sep 30, 2021, 8:00:00 PM22,214

October 23, 2021

Maudlin Memories

I think fall has settled in. I find myself in a jacket every day as I head in to work. Leaves are turning throughout the neighborhood. A bit late, I think. 

I’m a little gloomy this morning. It was on this date in 2018 that my mommy passed away. I miss her every day. Just the other day something happened and I thought, “mom would get a kick out of that”. Alas, she probably saw it in heaven. On the other hand, I have to think sitting around watching a tv screen with my life playing out has to be more boring even than watching bowling. So probably not. I do know they better allow smoking in heaven or Mom just might not go. Perhaps she just has to step outside the gates to light one up with Peter or something. 

I’ve mentioned before way down on my list of phone mail recordings is a message from my mother that she left in July of 2018. It is nothing important; just telling me if I am in town to pick up some tomatoes from her garden. I must have mentioned I might drop by on the way home from a business trip. Anyway, it is good to hear her voice. 

We see what we want sometimes. Yet I cannot help to notice parts of my mom’s personality in my granddaughters. The oldest one’s penchant for organizing and planning everything (straight from her mom too BTW) and the youngest girls sassy attitude and good humor. Both are strong-willed, a trait that runs straight and deep from my grandfather to my mom to me and right down through the generations. 

Anyhow, life goes on. I think I am going to try and go for a short walk through the neighborhood this morning. I need the exercise and my foot is finally down to mild pain and very little swelling by the end of the day. That could be attributed to finally healing or to the fact I’m am sitting on my butt most of the time. A couple of miles on the sidewalk will let me know how things are before I go back to the surgeon for a follow-up visit Monday. I do know I cannot walk fast and I do have a slight limp still. Habit or necessity? Time will tell.

Enjoy your Saturday.

October 20, 2021

Nine day weekends

 Hump Day. 

Important people are out of the office so I’ve been doing cubicle duty,  entering orders taking calls, etc. 

it has been a long time since I did Customer Service and Order Entry work. Way back in the early nineties I was Customer Service Manager before I moved to Master Scheduler, Floor Supervisor, and then into outside sales. It is slowly coming back. More importantly, it is helping my product knowledge.

In other news, nothing. 

October 19, 2021

Night time passion

 After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband begin to touch her in ways he hadn’t in quite some time.

It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back.

He then slid his hand across her shoulders and neck, slowly worked it down one side, then the other, stopping just over her lower stomach.

He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed downward again, working down her side, passed gently over and then in between her buttock and down her leg to her calf.

Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg.

He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.

As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, “That was wonderful. Why did you stop?”

“I found the remote,” he said.

October 17, 2021

Like a river flows

 I’ve been occasionally featuring tunes from 1971. How about we go back sixty years to ‘61 and listen to one of the King’s best:

Blue Hawaii, Clambake, and Fun in Acapulco remain among my favorite Elvis movies. While widely panned these days, Elvis wasn’t a bad actor. He did have some bad scripts to work with. In fact, he was a top box office draw in the sixties. Now am I claiming he was screwed out of the Oscars? Nope. But he was better than he is often given credit. On the other hand, for the most part he was expected to be pretty much Elvis in his movies, so he should have been better than average at it. 

October 16, 2021

If a Cabinet Officer can take two months off work, is he really doing anything?

Yikes!, it is forty-seven degrees outside. Hotter than blazes if you live in Celsius land. Rather cool if you live in ‘Murcia where we still use the confusing and righteous Imperial system. The rest of the world can just take your Celsius and your kilometers and your liters and bugger off. “I’d walk 1.609 kilometers for a Camel” just doesn’t have the same cachet. 

Yes, I’m in that same weird mood as yesterday. 

I have been watching the Ken Burns documentary on Muhammad Ali. I am two episodes in. Is it possible to admire and hate a person? That’s the way I always felt about the boxer. Not for his religion. It was his braggadocio.* He spawned a whole generation of athletes lacking in humility. You understand his trash talking, his taunts. He got so far into his opponents head he was in their dreams. But you can never doubt his work ethic nor his skill. 

My coffee is getting cold and the content is getting stale. Time to wrap it up.

*I often joke around here about being king or whatever. In real life I am a self-deprecating humble person.  

October 15, 2021

I am exactly the same size and weight as a crash test dummy.

 I’m slow to the blog this morning. No reason, I just slept late again. The dog is intensely staring at me in vain hope I will share my breakfast. I don’t think it is the coffee he covets as much as the beef jerky. Yes, you read that correctly. Do I judge you? 

OK, sometimes. Especially if you eat loathsome sweet potatoes. Or vegetarian hamburger. Maybe just a wee bit if you put ketchup on a hot dog…I better stop, I judge people a lot. 

Perhaps “judge” isn’t the correct word. I just know what is right and proper and what is not. As arbiter of good taste and decency, I could let you know if you are ever in doubt. 

Wait, how strange is this? I just got an email. Reader Chris writes My hot girlfriend doesn’t like Ranch dressing so…[insert sound of record scratching] stop right there. Just dump her if she doesn’t like Ranch. She probably also votes Democrat and carries around a purse dog of some sort.

And yet another: Dear Joe, my husband is a great provider, a wonderful father, and a Yankees fan…[screech] Divorce him. All Yankee fans are assholes. 

One more: Dear Joe, with the climate crisis getting increasingly worse…[Screech, thump, boing, thwack, bang] Get off my blog. “Increasingly worse” is repetitively redundant. Explain what made the glaciers melt and the Medieval warming period and I might buy into your were all gonna die climate cult. BTW, aren’t we past Al Gores point of no return already? 

That is enough for today. I’m always here if you need help figuring how to live the good life. God, guns, good food, and small government are all a pretty firm basis for living life right. But go ahead and ask me if you are not sure.

October 14, 2021

Let’s go Brandon

The jelly dripped out of my donut onto the paper plate as I perused the interwebz this morning. I slept late because I stayed up late. It often works that way. Of course my version of “sleeping in” is likely different than yours. No one is wrong here, except Joe Biden. He seems to be wrong about pretty much everything. 

I will type a few words here then I’ll check some work emails even though I’m on vacation. Then I’ll…do something else. I don’t know what. 

I mowed the lawn yesterday. It needed it. Rain is supposed to move in later today and tomorrow. Inside stuff should probably be considered. My cigar fairy is giving half a box of some cheap stogies he scored. I need to drag out my spare humidor and get it conditioned. That’ll take about ten minutes. I could always do some cleaning. I could drink coffee and goof around on the internet…

Here is one last picture from our mini-vacation. This a view from the stage at the famous Red Rocks amphitheater. I walked right on the stage where acts like the Beatles have played. Pretty cool.

October 13, 2021

Uneven ground

I mentioned the other day that I slipped. 

I was zip lining with my wife and son and fell on some loose dirt. The ground was steep. This was the terrain:

The view west from Lookout Mountain taken by me

Yes, I was riding suspended from a thin cable at speeds in excess of 50mph in the Rocky Mountains. 

See there is proof. Right there on the left.

We spent the Saturday through Tuesday morning in the Denver area visiting my oldest son. It was great to see him.

On Monday, he had to work so we drove up into the mountains, spending the day in Breckinridge. The scenery was breathtaking. 

The village was charming, albeit touristy. Unfortunately, the gondola was closed in the in-between summer and skiing seasons, so we couldn’t do any of the activities up on the mountain. 

The wife was thrilled to see snow capped mountains in the summer and certainly had never been 11,000 feet above sea level before. 

In all it was a great time.  I took all of the scenery pictures with my trusty iPhone. Embiggen if you desire.

View from the interstate near Frisco

From downtown Breckenridge 

October 12, 2021

Cheating Death

 Death: It’s your time. give me your hand

Blonde: No! i know that if i dont touch you then I’ll never die!

Death: Holy shit! You figured out the key to living forever! You’re soooo smart! High five!

Blonde: *high fives*

Death: Typical blonde… Dumbass…

October 11, 2021

I ain’t no Weeble

I slipped fell amongst some dirt and gravel yesterday. Nothing was hurt much beyond my pride; a scrape or two on my hands. Probably twenty people saw my slip. I popped right back up, but still. 

In my defense the ground was slopped quite precipitously. More on that later. 

Once upon a time the only semi-athletic skill I possessed was extraordinary balance. I could run along beams, I could balance on one foot for hours, I could stand on my head. These days, not so much. Not that I am wobbly or that I fall often, it is that pulling on jeans or standing on one foot without holding on isn’t as easy as it was in my younger days. The past few months have proven that. I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time on one foot.

Yesterday’s fall was far more about uneven ground than anything, but I still hate it. 

In a totally unrelated note, it is Columbus Day. If you want an “Indigenous Peoples Day” choose any one of the remaining 364. That, I would be cool with. 

October 10, 2021

Anything you want


The wife wanted chili.

There you go, baby. Served, of course, with cornbread. 

There I go, thinking again

 I heard an ad on the radio earlier in the week seeking people to work at Camp Attabury in south central Hoosierdom to work in food prep and janitorial positions. These people would provide services to Afghan refugees. 

Here’s a thought. Why don’t the refugees clean up after themselves and provide kitchen labor? We brought them here. We’re giving them a free place to live, probably money, certainly free healthcare. Is it too much to ask for a little sweat equity for those freebies? 

Yeah, I know rayyyciiiist.

October 9, 2021

Little Fireman

 A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little boy next door in a little red wagon with tiny ladders hung off the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The boy is wearing a firefighter’s helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and a cat.

The firefighter walks over to take a closer look.

“That sure is a nice fire truck,” the fire fighter says with admiration.

“Thanks,” says the little boy.

As the firefighter looks a little closer, he notices the boy has tied the wagon to the dog’s collar and to the cat’s testicles.

“Little partner,” the firefighter says, “I don’t want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat’s collar, I think you could go faster.”

The little boy says, “You’re probably right, but then I wouldn’t have a siren.”

October 7, 2021

Plans change

Things change. Instead of wandering around Kentucky Wednesday and Thursday. I just hit a couple of customers yesterday and headed back north across the Ohio into God’s favorite state. This morning found me in the office to pick up a delivery for an important customer in Cincinnati instead. So it goes. I have a quick customer visit on the books for Friday morning. By the time I get back to the office Friday I’ll have logged more than 1,300 miles since October 01. My ass is not in travel shape yet. I’m sore. Coming home from Ohio this afternoon was painful. 

I’m digging it. 

I don’t know why you would care, but I couldn’t get through “the Thin Man”. I may go back to it later, but in the interim I listened to a compilation of a couple of Louis L’Amour short stories in audiobook form. When I got bored I switched to my library of music or the radio. 

No political talk radio. We are polarized: I’m right and you believe nonsense if you don’t agree with me. Seriously, I’m appalled at most of the stuff everything the current administration is try to push and I can’t argue with your ignorance if you can’t see the dangers. 

Tomorrow is Friday and I’m ready for a couple of days off. 

Have a great evening.

October 5, 2021

My old Kentucky Home

Not mine. I never lived here. But lots of people do. I’m amidst and among the inhabitants now after driving and meeting customers for the past 12 hours or so. But I’m safely ensconced in my hotel now, contemplating dinner. Unfortunately, I have work to do. Emails to send and tomorrow’s meetings to prepare for as I loop around from the west through the central part of the state. 

I listened to a terrific audiobook on my journey. It was called “The 64thMan”. It is about a guy and his struggles to realize his life-long dream of playing in the NFL. It was funny and a little sad. Apparently it is only available as an audio book. Too bad, it would make for an entertaining read. 

Now I have the classic “The Thin Man” cued up for tomorrow’s journeys. 

It started raining hard as I pulled into the hotel parking lot. I got a little wet walking in. Fret not, I’m not made of sugar, I won’t melt. 

There we are, all updated. I could probably write the same post tomorrow evening. It will be more of the same. Tune in and find out.

October 4, 2021




The Hotel Carlton in Cannes is the Grande Dame of the Rivera. It has hosted the rich and famous for more than a century in luxuriousness. Made famous as the hotel in The Hitchcock film It Takes a Theif starring Cary Grant and the indomitable Grace Kelly, the hotel is now part of the InterContenental chain. 

Completed in 1913 the hotel was the place to stay for the Royal and rich of Europe from the time it was opened. The famous domes on The beach side were said to be modeled after the breasts of the famous pre-Great War courtesan Carloline Otero who made the Rivera her home base. 

La Belle Otero is said to have seduced Kings and Dukes and the most powerful men in Europe. Men fought duels over her favors and it is said six men committed suicide after their affairs ended. 


You judge. I report.

October 3, 2021

Living in the past

Anyone who has read the musings and minutiae of this space since it’s humble beginnings back in 1947 is aware that I love history. I enjoy reminiscing. I relish tales of yore. 

But I wouldn’t go back and relive a moment of my life for any amount of riches. I’ve been there, done that. I made the best decisions based on the moment with the knowledge at hand.

OK, I made some bad decisions. Lots of them. But that’s how we build up life knowledge. It’s called experience. 

I have no interest in going to a high school reunion. If I wanted to talk to old schoolmates I would. If they wanted to find me it wouldn’t be hard. Until a year or so ago my mom and dad lived right there in the house where I grew up. 

Unlike the plot of movies, high school wasn’t the best time of my life. I didn’t hate it, but it sure wasn’t my glory days. Same with college, where I had a great time, as my grades proved. But, I wouldn’t go back. 

I’ve lived a pretty happy life. Lots of highs, even more lows. 

But I have lived. 

For that I’m thankful. But you can’t go back. You shouldn’t want to.

October 2, 2021

That is me singing along off key

The past couple of years I have lamented not traveling for work. Worse, for most all of summer I couldn’t even drive. The new gig has me back on the road and I’m digging it. September found me on the streets and highways to the tune of about 2,000 miles. I rode another 800 or 900 with my boss. Yes, I’m on the road again. 

I’m not on the old international or nationwide circuit anymore. A few years ago I had ten states in the upper Midwest. I’m more local focusing on Indiana and Kentucky now. I’m good with that.

I’m still out meeting customers, I hope to get to real prospecting and selling as I go along. 

Next week looks like some hard drives and long days. Hotels and dinners alone are in the cards. I’m good with that. I’m loaded with audiobooks and podcasts. I have music on my phone and a radio in my F-150. I’m back doing what I’m supposed to do. Windshield time is easy money.

Yes, rest assured I will be complaining about yet another powdered egg hotel breakfast or how my butt gets tired of riding, or how other people drive in the coming months. I’m good at complaining. I will still be secretly happy. I’ll be doing what I was meant to do.

I’m not a musician, but his description of life on the road fits.

Have a great Saturday. We are off to a wedding this evening. It looks like it will be a soggy, rainy day. No bride should have to get married on a rainy day. So it goes. I’m not in charge of weather.

Have a great Saturday.

October 1, 2021

I want to thank you

So Wednesday morning, the youngest granddaughter woke without a fever for the first time in seventeen  days. She made it through yesterday fine as well. It appears she has finally recovered from her bout of COVID. They go back to the infectious disease doc at the children’s hospital today for a check up. Let’s hope her blood test comes back with her white cell count and proteins back to normal. 

Thank you all for your prayers and kind words, 

So today marks my son’s birthday. No, that’s not a typo. The youngest son’s birthday was yesterday. The oldest boy (middle child) has his day today. Their older sister had a birthday just two weeks ago. 

Yes, you mathematicians, the Christmas and New Years seasons used to be good for me. My wife has always loved the holidays.😎
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