September 27, 2020

Drift away like Tom Sawyer

It was June of that not-so-Orwellian year of 1984 when the wife and I tied the knot after a long engagement. We were short on cash, but scratched and saved enough to go on a four or five day honeymoon to Gatlinburg. We stayed at the Holiday Inn. In those days it was a nice hotel, complete with a couple of pools, a restaurant, and a bar. 

There was a decent cover band that played the bar at night and a couple of afternoons at the pool while we were there. Those were the days when bars and resorts hired real musicians instead of DJs. The new wife and I had a great time drinking in the bar, soaking the sun by the pool, doing the touristy stuff, and, well, honeymooning. 

Anyway, the cover band did a more than credible version of this song by Alabama:

This tune occasionally pops up on the rotation from my collection on the phone. Every time it does it takes me back to the summer my life started. 

I may have featured this song before. Lots of music has been posted in the 15+ years I have been doing this thing. If so, then so what? Mountain Music is still worth a listen some 38 years after its release.

September 26, 2020

Power Words

The manager of a ladies’ dress shop decided it was time to have a serious talk with one of her sales clerks. “Janet, your figures are well below any of our other sales clerks’. I’m sorry to say that unless you can improve your record soon, we will have to let you go.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am,” Janet humbly replied. “Is there any advice you could give me on how to do better?”

“There is an old trick I can tell you about,” the manager said. “It may sound silly, but it has worked for me in the past. Go through a dictionary until you come to a word that has particular power for you. Memorize it and work it into your sales pitch whenever it seems appropriate. You’ll be amazed at the results.”

Sure enough, Janet’s sales figures improved, and at the end of the month the manager called her in again and congratulated her. “Did you try my little trick?” she asked.

“Yes,” Janet nodded. “It took me an entire weekend to find just the right word, but I did … ‘Fantastic’.”

“‘Fantastic’. What an excellent word,” the manager said encouragingly. “How have you been using it?”

“Well, my first customer on Monday was a woman who told me her little girl had just been accepted at the most exclusive prep school in the city. I said, ‘Fantastic.’ She went on to tell me how her daughter always got straight A’s and was the most popular girl in her class. I said ‘Fantastic’ and she bought $450 worth of clothing.”

“My next customer,” Janet continued, “told me she was in charge of the Spring Ball at the country club and needed a new formal dress. I said ‘Fantastic.’ She went on to tell me she had the best figure of anyone on the committee and her husband makes the most money. I said ‘Fantastic’ and she not only bought the designer gown, but hundreds of dollars of other merchandise. It’s been like that all week: the customers keep boasting, I keep saying ‘Fantastic’, and they keep buying.”

“Excellent work, Janet,” complimented the manager. “Out of curiosity, what did you used to say to customers before you discovered your power word?”

“I used to say, ‘Who gives a sh*t!'” Janet replied with a shrug.

September 25, 2020

let’s have more shortages

We need to look no further than California (yet again) to see the lunacy of the leftist agenda. The state for years has electricity shortages; resorting to rolling blackouts and brownouts through the summer months. Unable to produce enough power themselves because they have rejected nukes, hydroelectric, and coal, they must buy electricity from adjoining states. *

Since there is a shortage of electricity to power their daily needs, the Wish Legislators (I wish it so therefore it shall be) have decreed that henceforth only electric cars shall be sold in California. They might as well demand everyone ride a bike, because that’s what you Californians will be doing when there is no electricity to charge your car battery. 

I foresee a California that looks like modern Cuba where old cars are lovingly and painstakingly maintained so that reliable transportation can be found. I also see the California Legislators scratching their heads in wonder when the discover all that gas tax has disappeared from their already overextended coffers. 

Leftism is truly a mental disease.**

*good luck with that “California as a separate country” movement when you have to buy your power from a foreign country.

** Further proof

September 24, 2020

By the way, that isn’t a Confederate kepi

One thing you have to say about the modern era of television is that in general the theme songs for shows lack a certain pizzazz.  The dut dut from Law and Order might give us a classic sense of time and place but I guess that is more through decades of hearing it. I would argue the same for the Simpsons appropriately frantic theme song. 

No it was in the halcyon days of TV, when we all had but three or four choices on what to watch that the theme song needed to draw in precious viewers. Oh my, there were some classic tunes from Peter Gun to Rawhide and Gilligan and The Brady Bunch. How about that snare drum from Hogan’s Heroes?

For me it was the action shows that provided the best intro and exit music. Who can deny he exquisite nature of the themes for Jonny Quest (natch), Tarzan or this one:

Do you have a favorite TV Theme Song?

September 23, 2020


 RIP Mr Sayres 

You were great. Before the injuries you were the best. Maybe ever.

September 22, 2020

OK Anonymous, this is only a joke. No wives or husbands were actually hurt, offended, or left homeless

 My wife told me to go to the doctors and get some of those tablets that “help” you get an erection.

You should of seen her face when I came back and tossed her some diet pills.

I’m still looking for a place to live.

September 21, 2020

I do not possess the vocabulary to describe how vile this notion is

Those of you who think Donald a Trump has destroyed all civilized governmental norms, how do reconcile that Pelosi indicated she would be willing to impeach (again) the President, if that kept the Senate from moving on filling the open SCOTUS position? The last impeachment effort was based on politics, and if they do it again it will be for something even lower. 

We are already moving into the realm of a Banana Republic, and despite the teeth gnashing, hair pulling, and garment rendering antics of the TDS crowd, it is the Democrat Party that is taking us there. Talk of packing the Supreme Court and impeaching whomever Trump gets installed, are all but a hop and skip from palace coups and murdering your former political rivals. I expect Pelosi to have herself named a Colonel any day now. She is probably having a gold-laced uniform designed over at Lord and Taylor right now.

What happened to actually needing a high crime or misdemeanor to impeach someone? I guess for the Democrats, not toeing the liberal line is a crime in itself. 

I was wrong Saturday to advocate waiting to fill the Court vacancy.  The Democrat’s have made it clear they will do anything to gain power. Leading Dems have promised to increase the number of Supreme Court Justices until they can get enough to pass their agenda through judicial fiat.There is no doubt they would fill a similar vacancy sans thought. Mitch needs to move and promise any lukewarm Repub that coveted committee position can be filled by more dependable stalwarts, you know, people with backbone. 

I know why the modern progressive wants to erase history. The Soviets murdered fifty million to bring about the Socialist Utopia. Mao disappeared probably twice that. Pol Pot and Castro were mere pikers killing a mere ten or twenty million combined. Who knows how many have been purged by the Frich’s Big Boy and his minions in North Korea, but it is not an inconsiderate number. The history of progressivism is an ugly thing. Best we hide it and eliminate those who can remember. 

The leftists seem determined to bring about a Civil War that will make the Serbs and Bosnians and even Spain look at the former United States and shudder at our viciousness. The last time we went at each other more than a half a million died. It took another fifty years and a world war to heal the wounds. 

Trust me, the man-bunned asshole driving the Prius with a ‘coexist’ bumper sticker gets it first. 
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