September 19, 2018

End Times

When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise

God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for
The men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for
The men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to
Report to St. Peter ."
Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men.

The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was a 100 miles
Long, and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household,
There was only one man.

God said to the long line, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves,
I created you to be the head of your household! You have been
Disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose! Of all of you, only
One obeyed. Learn from him."

God turned to the one man, "How did you manage to be the only one in
This line?"

The man replied, "My wife told me to stand here."

September 18, 2018

Trust me, it happened

Let me see if I have this straight:

Sometime 35 or so years ago a teenager supposedly attacked a girl at a party.

The accuser is not sure when the attack happened.

The accuser says she is not sure where it happened.

The accuser says that she is not sure if there were witnesses beyond the four, no make that two guys in the room, both of whom deny the incident.

But it was really, really traumatic.

The Former Attorney General from California thinks the FBI should investigate.  One would think she would know the difference between a Federal Crime and a local crime.  One would also think she would understand...evidence. You know stuff like when, where, and who?

Democrats say we should call witnesses; valuable witnesses like the therapist that the victim confided in. Or maybe the victim's husband. So we should believe two people whose only knowledge of the supposed incident is what the accuser told them? Are you sure he didn't toss a stray pubic hair on a Coke can too?

Of course the accuser having ties to anti-Trump factions, donations to the Democrat Party, a possible animosity to the Kavenaugh family, and a liberal history has nothing --do you hear me -- nothing to do with the sudden resurfacing of memories of an incident so traumatizing, so painful, so horrible that she forgot them for three decades and still finds the details a bit fuzzy.

I know the exact date I had the first kiss with my wife. I know the very spot I first got laid. Neither of these was an alleged assault. I would think that would be at least a bit memorable.

I wonder how many women on the Judicial Committee would give credence to a woman who claimed their husband assaulted her sometime in the past but the "victim" could not remember where or when?

Maybe we should ask Keith Ellison?

Rogering the deep state

And that, Mr. Obama, is how you do "transparency".

Now, if the press will report it, we will see how the leftist political appointees and Democrats conspired to steal an election.

September 17, 2018

How Things Work

Ever since the election of 2016, the losers have gone out of their way to complain that the system is unfair. In fact, it is only unfair in that the leftist candidate lost.

Since actual history is no longer taught in schools, I will present a brief overview of How Things Work. I know, I see your eyes glazing already.  Stick with me, it will be quick and painless.

There are a couple of things you have to grasp to understand our government. First, the United States of America is exactly that -- a collection of independent states joined together in a union. The various States are not provinces, nor administrative districts like your townships or counties. The States are independent.  That is why there is a separate driver's license for Ohio, or Indiana, or Alabama and not a national license.  That is why California can implement its own fuel standards. The Feds regulate commerce among the States -- New York cannot slap a tariff on New Jersey grown tomatoes, for instance. For those of you who think this should not be so, then how would you feel about New York or Illinois being forced to adhere to Mississippi's educational standards or Texas gun laws?  That is what I thought.

Two, we are a representative government, not a democracy. Repeat that several times until you get it.  The founders recoiled at the very idea of a true democracy.

OK, to the meat of the issue. By design, the States elect the President, not the People. Thus the Electoral College. The majority of votes wins the States' electors, the electors then vote for the President according to population. The majority has its way, the minority has its say. The President is elected indirectly by popular vote as dictated by the population of the various states. I should note, each State determines the method for choosing electors. See point one above.

Now to address the recent cry of sore losers everywhere. They argue that some States are over-represented in our government and others are under-represented. They could be no more wrong.

The House of Representatives is apportioned according to population. that is why California has 53 members in the House while Alaska has but one. The Representatives are apportioned equally based upon population.

The Senate represents the States. Every State is equally represented by two Senators. This keeps the majority from imposing its will on the smaller States. No State is over-represented, they all have two votes. This is no bug, but rather a feature. The big, populous States carry weight in the House, things are equaled in the Senate.  This is not hard to understand, unless one chooses not to.

Failure of your candidate or party to win elections is not an indication things are "unfair" nor "broken". It is means the designed system of checks and balances has worked. The primary driver in the design of our government is to prevent tyranny. The three branches balance each other, the large states are balanced against the smaller states. it is pure genius.

As always, I welcome your rebuttal in the comments.

September 16, 2018

Thick as a brick

I'm not sure if there has been any news coverage about it, but a hurricane made landfall in the Carolina's on Friday and has dumped a bunch of rain. Weather "experts" would have you think this is an unprecedented event and climate change is about to kill us all. Sure 8 or 10 inches of rain over a few days is a bad thing. Twice that is worse. Heck, we had over five inches in a couple of days here last week. To put things in perspective  Mount Wai'ale'ale on Kaua'i averages 373 inches of rain a year and was drenched with 683 inches in 1982. Reunion Island got nearly 72 inches of rain in 24 hours back in 1966.  That is six feet of rain. Not annually, in one freaking day. So how about we dial down the panic rhetoric a tad about Florence? 

It is clear this dude went into "reporting" because he is a terrible actor. 

September 15, 2018

All about the salsa verde

Good morning, fellow 'Muricans and Canadians and Earthlings, if you prefer. We will once again present today's offering in plain old English, so if that is not your preferred language, I can only opine that it sucks to be you. Not from any strong xenophobic passion, but rather that American English is my language of choice. My wit and wisdom is only available in that format.

And because I am only fluent in English. In the Hoosier patois at that.

You Britishers can just get over the spelling. There ain't no "U" in color.

Where was I going before you started griping about language?

Heck if I know.

Yesterday was my favorite daughter's birthday. Yes, I admit it. So what? Sure, she is my only daughter, so it is pretty easy to name her my favorite daughter. We went out for Mexican food to celebrate. I had no need to stretch my limited Spanish vocabulary. It is easy to order tacos.

Unlike certain bands currently playing in the background, I have never been through the desert on a horse with no name.

In my case, it was Scout.

I'm not aware of any important weekend plans. I have to cut the grass. There is a bit of excitement, should you care to live vicariously through my adventures. My eye drops are ready for pick up down at the drug store. I better stop there, I'm not sure you can handle the sheer adrenaline rush of all this seat-of-the-pants thrill ride that is my life. I don't care if you are wearing an official imitation Indiana Jones hat, it is probably just too much to handle.

Does this become more entertaining and worthwhile if you read it out loud?

Go back to the beginning and do it. I need to know.

I can only hope you are sitting at the doctor's office or standing in line at WalMart when you do it.  Even better, I envision you sitting at your favorite dining establishment, waiting on your food, reading this at full voice. Because of course the louder the better. Turn up the volume to eleven, give us some "room-filling energy!", as my speech teacher used to advise the class. Everyone at Chez Patrice, Applebee's, or Arby's wants to hear my words of wisdom. Really.

You better stop reading out loud now. It is creating a feedback loopy-thing, you reading out loud about reading out loud. Sorry it is just weird. What made you think that was a good idea?

September 14, 2018

Housekeeping matters

Hah, I don't mind the spam comments. They are easily wiped away. I just wish the "I learned a lot from this post" and "this is great information", etc. comments were on a posts that were real commentary, not throw away posts of a line or two. Especially a post from a decade or so ago.

I was looking at my referral logs. It seems a porn site has taken a great liking to my work.  Thanks for sending links over here. I'm not sure what I have offered that encouraged this linkage, but I will take every visitor I get.

September 13, 2018

The fifer is on the capstan

Thursday. It feels like this week has been 9 or 10 days long already, yet I toil on. Friday will be here soon.

On the bright side, I have dumped multiple posts on you in recent days. It reminds me of the old days.  Sure, some of the posts are from the old days...

But it is not like I have raised rates around here. 

If you are really unhappy I will freely refund your paid subscription. You cannot ask more than that.

"Fair" is my middle name.

Consider everything here that is of original content copyrighted as of March 2005