September 30, 2014

Quick hits

I cannot say this enough; no no no no no no on a possible Romney for President in '16. The dude lost the nomination in 2008, and lost the election big to a weak Obama in 2012, mostly because conservatives stayed home on election day.  There is nothing new to change all of those minds. Romney vs. Clinton or another Bush vs. Clinton? I would prefer we have a random drawing of eligible voters and let the winner be president.

Is the Secret Service really that incompetent? I know a guy who has his house wired. He knows if anyone pulls into his driveway. He gets a text when his laundry is done. He can remotely turn on his living room lamp while he is gnawing chicken wings down at the local sports bar. But with all of the power and money in the world the Secret Service can't stop a guy from climbing a fence and getting clear into the East Room? Unarmed minimum wage security guards can tackle and stop a streaker before they get ten yards onto a football field. Maybe the White House should hire a dude in a windbreaker to handle security?

Republicans, Democrats -- is anyone running on a platform this year?  "I'm not the other guy" seems a piss poor way to run a country.  But considering the candidates, that may be all they have to offer.

Only six months until the Cubs start playing meaningful baseball games.  At least they will not lose any more games this year.

September 29, 2014


Back when I was 13 and the Patrol Leader of the Wolverine Patrol in Boy Scout Troop 338, I learned to take responsibility for my actions as well as for those under my guidance.  I continued that philosophy when I had direct reports working for me at the factory.  If you support your people, they will support you.

In a nutshell my belief was " You did something right, We did something wrong". The concept being that if there was a mistake or failure by a member of my team, then that error was caused by my not giving the individual the knowledge, training , or tools to do the task correctly.  It was a failure of leadership.  It goes without saying that credit for doing something well goes to the individual.

Apparently President Obama was never a Boy Scout, because he clearly lacks in leadership skills. When will America learn there is a very big difference in a good speech reader and a true leader?

Lucky Man A revised post for a new day

I am a lucky man. I cannot say it enough.

I have plenty for which to thank God each and every day. I have a wonderful family and great friends. That is plenty for any man, yet I have been blessed in many other ways.

I have walked on the Great Wall of China. I have swam in warm Caribbean waters. I have dipped at least hand into each of the Great Lakes. I have been to London, New York, Chicago, LA. I have sipped beer beside mountain lakes in Alpine Austria. I have seen many of the great cathedrals of Europe. I have gazed on the Mona Lisa, the Rosetta Stone, the Statue of Liberty, and Paris from atop the Eiffel Tower. I have walked the same Hamburg streets as the Beatles did before they became famous and climbed the rocky hills of Gettysburg where thousands of Americans died for freedom. I have stood above the treeline on Mt. Hood, and walked along the canals in Amsterdam. I soaked in the sun and surf of Waikiki and stared in solemn silence at the oil bubbling from the broken hull of the USS Arizona. I once nearly drowned in the riptide off a Florida beach and I have twice jumped from a perfectly good airplane. I have visited 44 states, and at least 10 countries. I have watched a full moon rise from behind the big willow tree in my backyard. I have enjoyed great cigars and fine wines. I have spent more than 30 years with the love of my life and fathered three perfect children.

I am a lucky man

September 27, 2014

Saturday Music

What say we take another trip to the '80s?

September 26, 2014

So long sucker

The cynic in me cannot help thinking Holder's resignation is yet another delaying tactic to keep the supoenaed documents in the IRS and Fast and Furious scandals from Congress, the press (like they really want St. O exposed), and the American public.

We will be deep into the election frenzy for the next corrupt politician or The Obama will be long gone before the facts are ever exposed. Then no one will care.  America will be a little worse for wear, but the President will be protected.

September 25, 2014


I note the liberals are largely silent on Obama's pre-emptive war in Iraq. I have read nothing from those who think GW's pre-emptive war in that same country is the most shameful action in America's history. I guess that author slept through history class when slavery, the Trail of Tears, the Sand Creek Massacre, Wounded Knee, and the Philippine Insurrection were discussed. But, as is often the case, I digress.

The hysteria over a few bad rotten apples in the NFL has quieted a bit. There are creeps in every workplace. The odds are pretty good there is a wife beater, drug addict, child abuser, and drunk driver working for your company today.  Should I never buy your company's widget again because of it? You will say it is about the punishment of the n'er do wells that has your panties in a twist. I know of two instances when I worked in manufacturing that he union got a person's job back, including back pay for the time the persons were fired after the employee showed up for work drunk and/or drugged. If you're this passionate get yourself and your picket sign to march in front of every company in America.  Better yet, why don't we make these wife beaters, child abuses, and drunk drives where a big red letter of shame embroidered on their breast?

The Cubs need to win two of three against the Brewers to keep from yet another 90 loss season. Must they break my heart every year?

I'm getting dizzy up here on my soapbox. One final enigmatic request; cross your fingers for me today.  I need some luck.

September 24, 2014

Hump day random writing

Good morning blog world. It looks to be another beautiful day here at the old homestead. The air definitely has the feel of early fall. I really meant to get a post up yesterday but shit happens, as the saying goes.  I had the afternoon off. I threw in a load of laundry then I dusted and vacuumed the place.  The day was warm and nice, nary a cloud in the sky. I grabbed my book and sat on the patio burning a good cigar and reading until the wife got home from work (6-1/2 x 50 Siglo if you must know).

An old friend I have not spoken with in a long time called after supper. It was great to talk to him,

As I hunt and peck this post a ragged vee of geese just flew over the house, the flock's backseat drivers honking directions to the leader while he honked arguments back.  The giant willow in the backyard stands mute as they pass, the long limbs almost touching the ground; no breeze stirring it today.  On the opposite corner a big blue spruce stands sentinel over the little garden shed.

I sit inside drinking coffee, thankful God has seen fit to give me this day.

September 23, 2014

I'll take an "e", Pat

I know.  I hope I can find time to mix letters into words and words into sentences that will at least comprise a readable post sometime today.  Not just now.

September 21, 2014

I can eat 50 eggs

The morning sky is a cloudless brilliant blue. I think the Crayola folks called this shade "sky blue" in the big 64 count box when I was a kid.  Who would have guessed? There is a moderate breeze shaking the leaves on the maple out front. In short, it looks to be a gorgeous fall day. In fact it looks like it is too nice out to waste the day on the computer.  Have a great Sunday.

September 20, 2014

Good or bad

The contents of this blog are pretty much what you would get if we were to have a conversation. Sadly I may be just a tad more sarcastic in real life.  Fortunately I have learned to filter much of what transpires in my brain.

September 19, 2014


Usually I take whatever song is playing in my head when I wake on a Friday morning and post it as the Friday Music feature. This morning Michael Jackson's Billy Jean is bouncing around in there. I don't know why. I have never liked that song and was certainly never a fan of Jackson's work.  I am not going to post a video. Say thank you.

Big stuff in store for this Friday. I have a couple of conference calls,  then I think I'll take the afternoon off and mow the lawn.  I agree, I don't know how I deal with the excitement either.

September 18, 2014

I must need Head and Shoulders 'cause I keep scratching my skull

Apparently Obummer isn't going to be happy until we have our very own epidemic of Ebola right here in America.

If you are one of the military personnel sent to Africa to "fight" the spread of the deadly virus can you refuse the mission?  How is this plan in any way, shape, or form part of the roll of the US Armed Forces?

Beef and Beets with Burbon Butter Broth

I woke wide awake a bit after four this morning. I don't know why. I flipped and flopped like a trout tossed on a river bank for a bit and finally gave up and climbed out of bed*  I have been sipping my coffee and surfing the web since.

I bet you are saying to yourself  right about now "Self, since Joe was up early I bet he is going to knock out a killer post given the extra time in his work day". You could say that if you want to be wrong as a Democrat on foreign or domestic policy. You don't want to be wrong do you? I was once and I did not like the feeling.

My coffee cup is empty and so is my tank of creative juices. Is it weird I am craving a hamburger at 6 in the morning?

*That phrase has always bugged me.  How do you climb out of bed? I don't sleep in a pit or a hole. There is no ladder or stair involved in exiting my mattress.  Instead replace the "climbed out of bed" phrase with " rolled out of bed" it is a more apt phrase and leaves my just slightly more satisfied with my elementary school level of prose.

What? It did not cost a bit to read this drivel. You get what you pay for in life. In this case you got a whole lot of nothing.

September 17, 2014

A little bit of nuthin'

I'm sitting here alternately staring at the cursor in the blank blogger page and out my office window at my backyard. I feel like my brain is in low gear this morning, despite two cups of coffee. I suppose the proper word to describe my mood is "lethargic".  It is not like I want to do something else, I don't want to do anything. Well that is not completely true.  I wouldn't mind sitting on a beach, sunning and drinking beer. Still, that would involve pretty much not doing anything, just in a much better setting than my home office.

The unseasonably cool air has brought forth sweaters and tight jeans and boots on the ladies at the mall. That is not a bad thing, I suppose, but the transition from spaghetti straps and cleavage to sweatshirts has been quick this year. But what do we do? Despite the fervent beliefs of the global warming zealots, we just have to live with weather.

September 16, 2014

Eat me, Buick

I once swore I would buy nothing that had an offensive or stupid commercial on TV. It did not take me long to realize that policy left few goods to buy. I hate the cartoon Charmin bears, but I am not about to pass on a soft wipe for my delicate butt. I do have standards.

The latest commercial that leaves me sputtering with outrage is the new Buick commercial. Assholes in all walks of life are exclaiming "I did not know it was a Buick". An idiot valet parking attendant can't find the Buick in the lot, I guess because the car does not look like a typical Buick. I suppose that just clicking the remote was too difficult for the moron?

My issue is that each and every car in the ad has a giant Buick emblem in the center of the grill. Ray Charles would not fail to notice it, and he is blind. And dead. The emblem is like four inches across. Only an idiot would look right at the front of the car and exclaim, "This is not a Buick".  It is not like the old bat in the spot is peering with myopic vision at a '67 Volkswagen Beetle with a Rolls Royce hood ornament.  The camera focuses on the front of the car, giant Buick emblem and all.

Who ever agreed to this ad campaign should be branded with the giant Buick emblem right on the their ass.

September 15, 2014

A really crappy Monday

I am a bit swell-headed this morning, if that is even a term. A commenter told me I "was so cool" and that he "has never read anything so interesting as my blog". He even invited me to read his blog! Can you believe it?

The past two weekends I have been deep in sales training for my new part-time gig. I passed the course. That means I can keep my job. Since I have been a moderately successful salesman for more than 20 years, I hope I could pass an introductory sales class. I will be honest, it has been 30 years since I sat in a classroom setting, studied materials, and took written tests. That part was harder than I thought it would be. Still, I scored a 90% on the written final and life is good.

I think we have been friends long enough to share a little too much information this morning. You may remember I had serious diarrhea issues a few years ago. It was caused by some meds i was on. I believe I blogged about the destruction of a Dairy Queen in Wisconsin, and the 8 hours road trip coming back from Rockford, Illinois, crapping at every gas station, McDonald's and Cracker Barrel between there and home, Since the doctor changed things up I have shat neat, solid cellophane wrapped cubes.  Until this morning.  I woke at about 4:00 in the dark of night with stomach rumbles and I have proceeded to stink up the house and each of the 2.5 bathrooms with a major case of the runs. It is a good thing the wife stocked up on the Charmin last week. I would light a candle or two, but I am seriously afraid of an explosion.

Needless to say, it has been a shitty Monday around here, I hope yours is going better.

September 12, 2014

It is about time

A school in Virginia has banned Chapstick.  We know lip balm is a gateway drug to hand cream and moisturizers.  Some users even end up on Vaseline. It is about time the authorities cracked down. You see, I know the dangers. Here is a little known blog fact: I am addicted to Chapstick. I carry one in my pocket at all times (the blue one if you have to know, but I will use the plain if I have to). I use it constantly. If I do not have a coat of petroleum wax on my lips I go into a panic.

My addiction aside, I can only ask what are these people thinking?  Is it a requirement to be a school administrator or school board member to lose all common sense upon taking the job? Perhaps frequent commenter and blog friend Hey Teacher knows the answer.

Friday Music

There won't be any today. You don't care and I lack the motivation.

Take that blog world.

It snowed in the Dakotas yesterday.  I wonder what the global warming fanatics say about that?

I think I will go buy some fresh donuts for breakfast.  Take that too, blog world.

September 11, 2014


We all remember that terrible morning in our own way.  I offer a prayer for the families who lost loved ones.

There is pure evil in this world.

September 10, 2014

Historically Ignorant, Economically Illiterate

Sometimes I read stuff that is so astoundingly stupid I cannot help but comment. This article is a perfect example.  I know you do not read links.  You should read this one to see a prime example of historically ignorant and economically illiterate journalism. Does Ryan Cooper really believe that men lived a life of leisure prior to the industrial revolution? Men, women, and yes, children worked sun-up to sun-down and beyond in a very effort to survive. Cooper should go to any third world country and observe how hard it is to survive on a daily basis. Life is hard. The concept of "leisure time" is a modern concept.

Ryan claims that a "Universal Basic Income" will work if everyone is subject.  If there is no rich, no poor, then life will be perfect. Why would anyone go to work if their income is guaranteed? Who will produce the food, the energy, the consumer goods?  Who will build the houses, the roads, the libraries? Who will create the next iPhone, the flying car, the vaccine that ends the common cold? Where will the government get the funds to provide the Universal Basic Income?

You see, Ryan Cooper does not understand that Government does not produce anything. It makes no goods. The government only gets its funds through taking it from the people by force. The money the Feds spend comes from you and me and borrowing against the future income and taxes of our children and grandchildren.

Do you think I am wrong?  Answer two questions.  How long would you continue to work at your job if you did not get paid?  How long would you continue to go to your job if you got paid whether you showed up or not?

It is a wonder Ryan Cooper does not need an instruction manual to remind him to breathe.

September 8, 2014

See the secret Democratic Party Platform

Donna Brazile (Vice Chairwoman of the Democratic National Committee):
Every time Mr. Obama tries to accomplish something with executive action, Congress tries to stonewall him. source

America, meet the real Democratic Party platform.  I guess the coronation of Emperor Obama would be fine with MS Brazile.

Here is my rebuttal.

I think I win this debate easily.

If you fail to see the issue with her tweet, I worry about the future of America.

September 7, 2014


It is early on a fine Sunday morning. I am sitting in the upstairs den surfing the interwebz on the old iPad.  The sky is fading shades of blue and pink and orange as the sun rises from behind my neighbor's house.  The TV is off. My coffee is hot in the travel mug resting on the Indianapolis Colts coaster on the end table near my right elbow.  The recliner is upright and I am typing this post with a single index finger,  I have nothing to write for you today.  Football is finally here, but that means autumn is not far away.

September 6, 2014

Let me offer you

Sincere wishes for a happy Saturday

September 5, 2014

Fix the cigarette lighter

Another scene from one of my favorite movies. Good tunes, brilliant comedy.

September 4, 2014

Plop Plop Fizz, Fizz

We had a feast for supper last night. Ribs slow cooked in the oven and then finished on the grill with a generous coating of thick rich BBQ sauce, tomatoes fresh from the garden, corn on the cob I grilled next to the pork ribs and cheesy hash brown casserole.  I did my best Mr. Creosote impression. 

September 3, 2014

Easy rabbit stew

Why would I care what Angelina Jolie wore to her wedding?  If the bride liked the dress isn't that all that matters?  For that matter, why does anyone care that she even got married?  

The media tells us it is not our business if boys marry boys or girls marry girls. Then they breathlessly delve into every detail of this celebrity's marriage and that Royal's baby bump. 

I will say this, if you don't want your nekkid photos discovered then make sure they are destroyed or not accessible to anyone.  Better yet, don't take photos you don't want to share.  We all know the rest of the story that begins "I know this guy who used to work at the lab that processes film...".

September 1, 2014

True Ghost Stories

It is strange to see hits from Gutrumbles in my referral logs.

I miss reading the Acidman.
Consider everything here that is of original content copyrighted as of March 2005
Powered By Blogger