January 31, 2011

I reveal a tiny aspect of my life, and you say "So what?"

I dropped a cup of sugar-free banana fudge supreme pudding  on my foot at lunchtime.  The cup split open from the impact. It did not hurt, but the floor and my white sock were splattered with chocolate.

What a waste. This is one of the only sugar-free foods I have tried that is worth eating.

Luckily, I had more in the 'fridge.

At least there will be plenty of ice to make my drinks

It appears a big-ass storm is heading our way.  Many of you are in the cross hairs targeted in the bulls eye might get hit may be subjected to the storm too. Sorry for the repeated rephrasing, I do not want to be Palinized (blamed) if any acts of violence occur in the next three years in the storm area.

As of today, the StormTeam/ScareTeam says we are going to be walloped with beaucoup ice. I would much rather have a foot of snow. Right now my biggest concern is if we lose power. I have always hated the house is totally electric (except the fireplace). We can keep warm, but without power we have no way to cook except on the fireplace.  I suppose I should go refill the grill this afternoon. I think the Coleman stove has some fuel. I just have to find it!  In the end we will survive. We have plenty of food -- just no way to cook it. I did not spend all of those years as a Boy Scout for nothing.  If an Eagle Scout cannot find a way to prepare food, I should pack up that gaudy red/white/blue ribbon and send it back.

I am supposed to head off to the Windy City Tuesday for a customer visit. It just may not happen. The Chi-town area is forecasted for a couple of feet of snow. As an older and wiser man, driving in such conditions is just not worth it -- especially for a sales call that does not have to be made.  It is just a routine visit, no critical issues are at stake.

Be safe and remember spring is just a couple of months away.

January 30, 2011

I am diagnosed

Shopping at WalMart may induces a certain, albeit temporary, form of Tourette's Syndrome. WalMart Tourettsia symptoms are primarily cursing under one's breath, mumbled F-bombs and repetition of the phrase "I hate this fucking store".  Sometimes the cursing is out loud and includes the phrase "Move you fat bitch" and "Open some fucking check out lines, gott damnit".

One weird aspect of the disease is that a Saturday or Sunday afternoon onset can make the sufferer actually hate every living being on the planet. Sometimes the symptoms last through the drive home.

The disease is temporary in nature, but lasting damage to the psyche may be evident with long-term exposure.  A similar, but as yet undocumented disease, can affect males at the mall, especially on weekends and holidays.

January 29, 2011

I went for a walk on a winter's day

Hower yew? It is a fine Saturday winter morning. It might actually get above freezing today according to the  weather girl. But just barely. I have no worries, more winter is on the way. This winter is like those I remember as a kid; snow on the ground all of the time, refreshed every few days. It has been cold, constantly in the teens and twenties, but we have not had the Arctic subzero stuff too much so far. I hope I did not speak too soon! There is a lot of winter yet before spring arrives in its green and flowery glory.

It looks like I will not attend the World's Most Boring Trade Show this year. While I enjoy a few days of Florida weather each February, working the show is such a drain I am not sure the sunshine trade off is worth it. That is a comment on the tedium of this show. I would rather stay in the snow and cold than work that event.

As you can tell by the preceding paragraphs I really have nothing worthwhile to offer today. There are some who might say that is a normal for this pathetic journal. Some days I miss my pathetic misguided trolls. I am sure Josh and Dave have somehow found a secret link blaming Fox News and Sarah Palin for the riots in Egypt.

Perhaps I should leave it at that and wish you a happy Saturday.

January 28, 2011

Creating Jobs

It has been a crazy week and I have had little time to devote to this time-consuming hobby. But ever since The Obama's SOTU speech (and before) I have been screaming silently the following:  Government cannot create jobs.

Repeat after me -- The Government cannot create jobs. Not Reagan. Not Roosevelt. Not Lincoln. Not Grant. Not Obama. Congress cannot create a job, nor can your City, County, State or even Township official. Private sector jobs cannot be created by the Government. Period, End of story.

The only jobs a Government at any level can create are Government jobs. Those jobs do not create wealth. they take hard-earned money from you and me and small businesses and corporations and use that money to pay Government workers. Government workers do not make any saleable goods or services, they take money from the economy.

The Government cannot create jobs through grants like those proposed by the President. The Government cannot create jobs -- be they green or otherwise.  The money used to encourage windmills or electric cars comes from taxes payed by hard working Americans and Businesses. Ford Motors is being taxed.  That tax money is being used to reduce the price of GM's electric car! Just think, Ford could have more money to create their own electric vehicle, or to hire more workers if their profits were not confiscated and given to GM.

The same is true of windmills or solar panels or any other supposed "green job" the Government claims to create. Now a local, State or even a Federal Governmental entity can create an atmosphere where business are likely to hire. Low taxes is a great way to lure a business to your community.  Right to Work is a big incentive. A community know for union activity and frequent strikes does not encourage a business owner to invest.

The Government can certainly cause jobs to be lost.  Take a look at California today, and New York City throughout the 1980s and 1990s. High taxes and excessive regulations force business to relocate elsewhere.

So the next time your Mayor, City Council, County Administrator, Governor, or even President claims he is going to create jobs, keep in mind that person is either an ignorant asshole or a lying MOFO.  There is no third option.

16 hour days make me cranky

Why do some people find it necessary to carry on their conversations at the airport loud enough for everyone in a two gate area to hear their business? Is it a "look at me" gene?  Is it just ignorance? This assholery is not confined to men, nor to salesmen, although that is often the case, but most often to middle age women having long personal conversations about shit that could be better discussed in person.  Just because you are bored does not mean the rest of us should be subjected to detailed descriptions of your latest pedicure.

That James Fenimore Cooper is one wordy SOB. the Last of the Mohicans is still a compelling story. if you saw the excellent movie with Daniel Day Lewis movie version made a decade or so  holy shit almost 20 years ago, it is only loosely based on the classic novel. It has taken me a bit to understand the book is far different. I keep finding myself screaming silently "No one talks like that -- even in the 18th Century" and "Get on with the story already".

January 27, 2011

Things I learned today

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.

January 26, 2011

My take on the SOTU speech

When The Obama talks at me, it just sounds like the adults in a Charlie Brown cartoon.

Whah wahaa, whah whah wah wha

January 25, 2011

Are you forced to take a stupid pill upon election to public office?

I guess it is appropriate to rant on the intrusiveness of Government a few hours before The Obama outlines even more Big Government initiatives in his State of the Union address. The point most on the left and the media do not get is that the Tea Party is in favor of a smaller government at all levels. The very idea that hundreds and thousands of new laws, regulations, and statutes are passed by your Local, State, and Federal Governments every year should be a warning flag. That much new regulation, control and governmental dictates can not be necessary in a free republic. Add to that total the mandates and regulations imposed by faceless bureaucrats in the alphabet regulatory agencies at all levels.

This morning I watched the news, appalled at the latest nutcase mandates proposed in my State Government. Shelli Vandenburgh*, an Indiana State Representative has proposed a 10 cent per grocery bag "fee" (re: a tax) for using disposable bags when grocery shopping. source 

This new fee would add a couple of dollars to your average WalMart shopping trip. But that is not the point. The costs will be far greater. Do these idiots even understand how a business is run? Each store, from the multi-billion conglomerate to the locally owned grocery will have to manage this new fee.  Someone will have to monitor the collection and make sure the funds and records are submitted to the State. Someone at the State -- paid for from my hard-earned wages and your hard-earned wages -- will have to monitor, collect, and disburse those new revenues. This all costs money. Business transactions are not free. The cost of this new regulation will be a burden far beyond the pennies per bag. Higher grocery bills and taxes can be the only result.

But Joe, we need to do it for the environment, you claim. Maybe we do. Of course we went away from paper bags to the plastic bags that hold a fraction of the groceries at the urging of the environmentalists. I agree we should use reusable bags for our groceries. But it is not the role of the Government to MAKE me  do the right thing. Those reusable bags are not cheap.  How many of them would be needed to get a week's worth of groceries for a family of five? When my kids were little we did major grocery shopping once a month.  That is how I was paid. Could you imagine the number of canvass bags that I would have needed?

Then there is the issue of cleanliness of the reusable bags.  Recent studies have shown they are often full of harmful bacteria. Fruits vegetables and meat leave residue. You should wash and bleach every bag after every use.  source

 That means we are using more water and dumping more chemicals into the waste water system and using more electricity.  Oh, and the vast majority of power is generated by coal and natural gas in this country. Compare that to the .005 seconds it takes to manufacture the 20 or so bags I consume at the grocery.

We Americans need to get a better understanding of the role of Government.  It is not to regulate our every action, but to put into place the barest bones of governmental structure.

*Ms Vandenburgh is a Representative from Lake County Indiana -- Chicago South (AKA Da Region), with similar politics. Read her bio here.  She has never had a job where she was not paid by the taxpayers.  I will save you some time. She is in favor of more taxation, more Government intrusion, less freedom.  Yes, she is a Democrat.

January 24, 2011

You Animal

Humans are an amazing species. Of all God's creatures in the animal kingdom we possess a better ability to improvise adapt and overcome than any other beast.

Consider.  The human body can withstand and thrive at temperature ranges from -40 in the Arctic to 120 degrees in the equatorial regions. We can live in the swamps, the deserts, the mountains, the plains, the frozen tundra and the forests.

Humans can eat a variety of foods.  We can survive on meat or veggies. We can digest a variety of foodstuffs.

Humans are not the fastest of hunters. A cheetah can run us down in a flash. Many in the animal kingdom are bigger, stronger and faster. We cannot fly, cannot stay under water for long periods. yet we can swim.  The human body has evolved into a distance running machine. A human can walk a horse to ground. It can run most prey to a quivering exhausted bundle of meat.

Most importantly we are smarter than any other animal. We are tops in the food chain because we learned to use tools and weapons. An ancient mastodon was far larger, but pointed spears, slings and arrows brought down the beast for early human dinners. We alone have learned to create fire.

Koko the ape supposedly understands some 2,00 words. She cannot speak, only respond.  Your average three year old human surpasses that feat, plus can communicate.  Humans can read, write and do complex mathematics. A raven uses tools, an otter uses tools, but none have developed true weapons. The songbird can sing, the whale can make noise, the lion roar.  The human can whistle, sing and communicate.

Some claim our development is simply an accident of mutating genes over eons. Some believe the Hidden hand of God created us. My God is so powerful he created us and gave us the ability to adapt, to survive. Tyrannosaurus Rex was bigger, stronger, faster, more ferocious by far, but those itty-bity arms precluded typing on a keyboard. You don't see old dinosaur Rex on Facebook do you?

Man is capable of unspeakable cruelty. We condemn the fox killing indiscriminately in the hen house, put down dogs and bears and tigers when they develop the habit of killing just to kill, but that trait is strong in the human animal. We have slaughtered each other in numbers that are truly astonishing.

We did not develop wings to fly, yet found a way to conquer the skies and space. We cannot swim for long distance, but developed ships and submarines to conquer the oceans of the Earth. We lack the claws of a mole yet can mine miles beneath the surface of the planet.

Celebrate! there is no species like you. You are special. You are so far at the top of the food chain the other beast of the planet combined cannot reach your accomplishments. Use those opposable thumbs to lift up a toast to that first homo sapiens. Smarter than the average bear indeed.

So the next time some jackass proposes a butterfly is more important than a power plant, a snail trumps your ability to build a house, a fish is more important than growing food you know better. I will recognize "animal rights" when that beast of the field, sky or stream can write a document as beautiful and simple as the Declaration of Independence. I will pay attention when the monkey can speak with the elegance of a Patrick Henry, when the lowly cardinal can sing like Aretha. Until that point in time, animals are just meat, plants are just food.

I am man, and I rule the Earthly kingdom.

On a long and lonesome highway East of Omaha

Good morning sports fans. It looks like the Packers and Steelers in the Big Game. Do you care? I am no fan of the Steelers, but I really can never root for the Packers. Mostly I don't care, but I will watch.

Here is some trivia for you.  Counting this year's contest, the AFC has been represented by only three teams in nine of the past ten years -- The Steelers(3), Patriots(4) or Colts(2).  Only the Raiders in XXXVIII broke the trend.

January 23, 2011

I was born in a crossfire hurricane

So here we are -- all reading blogs on a fine Sunday morning/afternoon/evening as the case may be. If you are reading on a different day, I appreciate it, but where the heck were you on Sunday?

We went to the mall in Indy yesterday.The place was packed. I mean December kind if busy. That is good for the economy.  Or it could be everyone has cabin fever and there was no place else to go. The wife spent $15 on clothes for work. She spent $19 on a new pair of boots. That is it, a good day at the mall for me, other than it took her about 4 hours to make those purchases. I just sat in the middle after I looked in the Sporting goods store and the book store. People watching, it never gets old.  I have noticed there are far fewer mohawk types around these days.

I have plenty of stuff to get started on this morning so I am going to have to cut this ramble off short. What?  I need to ...and maybe I should ...OK, I want to do a little reading and maybe I will watch some TV.

January 22, 2011

A bit of this, a bit of that

Here is a new blog you should check out:  click here.

Keef Odormann is gone from MSNBC. I am sure Bush and Cheney are somehow responsible. Who the hell am I going to laugh at now?

Cappy, your comment links do not work.  Surely you have studied that old navel enough by now? You storin' corn in that thing, or what?

I am kind of getting tired of the cold. Shovelling the drive is not an adventure, it is a chore. It could be a lot worse I could live in Upstate NY or in Wisconsin or Freddieland.  But I have just about had it with static electricity. My shirts stick to me, my coat snaps and crackles.  Sparks fly in the bed -- and I am not talking about romance. Kissing my wife sends an electric shock to my toes. What is weird, it just seems to be me.  The boy has no issues, the wife sleeps in flannel for goodness sake. I in my cotton shorts and T-Shirt send electric current through the air like some mutant superhero.

I wish I could say I have big plans for the weekend.  I don't. I may get around to putting the boxed up Christmas stuff away. It is now sitting in the garage and needs to be moved to the shed. I could have done it when it was a little warmer.  Or the one weekend there was not snow on the ground. Why look back and cry over what might have been?

I hope you have a good Saturday anyway. And NO gettin' laid. You are all cut off until I get some. Do you hear me?

Stop that. Really.

I mean it. I swear you people do not pay any more attention to my dictates than my kids.


January 21, 2011

Friday Five. My cheeks are red edition.

I am back home again to the land of ice and snow. The boy had most of the drive cleaned for me when I got home last night.  Nice.

We find ourselves on the edge of another weekend and time to resurrect everyone's favorite feature: The Friday Five.

I loves me some music; classical, bagpipes, Rat Pack, Christmas, Civil War, but mostly classic rock. I listen to my iPod tout le temps.

But, I do have some songs included that I love, but could be a little embarrassing if you knew what tunes was playing in my headphones as I tap my foot in the airport or listen with a smile while walking the neighborhood. So here they are, five songs on my iPod that you can not believe I love (in no particular order):

1. ABBA                        SOS
2. Coby Callait               Bubly
3. Marty Robbins           El Paso
4. Bee Gees                   Stayin Alive
5. The Browns               The Three Bells
6. Paper Lace                The Night Chicago Died

Yes, I listed six 'cause I never could follow directions.  Plus it's my blog.

What songs do you secretly love?  Come on, you are among friends, no one will make fun of you (much). Play along.

January 20, 2011

Here today, gone today

Hate the band. Hate the city. Going home today.

I guess Erica is right, it could have been Jersey. We all wish to visit Camden -- right?

January 19, 2011

Where is waldo?

In the best of all world s you would have had a post this morning.

You did not.

You really don't get one this evening either.

But I am in the armpit of America! Hooray for me.

Anyone want to guess?

January 18, 2011

Hey Joe, What's for dinner?

In the next 60 minutes, in no particular order, I have to shave, shower, go to the bank, put supper in the crockpot and jump in the car and head North to visit a customer. OK, I lied, that is the order of business. I should add I must put up something for you to waste a minute or two reading. There, are you happy?  I mentioned YOU in my blog post today. I did not forget my obligations to offer a meager attempt at entertainment.

So, we are having chicken tonight for supper. Put some chicken breasts in the crockpot. Dump in a tablespoon or so of chicken bullion, or not if you do not have any on hand.  Spread two cans of broccoli-cheddar soup on top.  Dump in 1/3 can of milk. You can use water if you have to.  You can also substitute 1/2 C dry white wine. Cook. Serve over noodles.  I mean that. Cook the noodles -- preferably the slick cheap ones from the pasta section of your local grocery. Toss 'em in some butter. Put the noodles on a big platter.  Put the cooked chicken on top. Spoon the cheesy sauce over everything. Sprinkle with some parsley for garnish if you want.  I usually don't.  Serve some rolls and a side veggie.  I recommend brussel sprouts. I won't be serving them, but you do as you like. Hey, ease up.  I like brussel sprouts, no one else around here does though.

Off to the shower! No peeking in the windows. You don't want to be sick at your stomach before you have chicken in the crockpot do you? Go on, read someone else.  You will go no more from me today.

January 17, 2011

I know, now let's blame the Second Amendment (but we know the ex-Governor of Alaska is really to blame)

If the makers of Glock firearms are responsible in any way for the shootings in Tucson, then the people at IBM better answer for thsi typo.

A light wintery mix

It is the same old dilemma. Do I post to keep posting or wait until I have something of substance to offer. If I choose the latter it may be a long while before you hear from me again. If I choose the former you will get more drivel regarding what I ate, what I read yesterday or what movie captured my short attention. In other words, do you want a peeping tom view through a frosted, dirty window, or do you want erudite and insightful commentary?

I could just refer you to my dusty archives.  There is plenty of both there -- interesting, insightful and pure tripe. Want to know why gas prices are so high?  See the archives for February of 2008.  The premise is the same today. I could preach my particular brand of politics to the choir, but you are already ahead of me in the hymnal. 

So here we find ourselves, you and I, on a Monday morning. Should I post a bit o'crap for you?  Should I spend time on research for a history piece that will bore you to tears?  Perhaps I could just put up a video of some classic rock. Perhaps a list of the best/worst/funniest/saddest/movies/songs/books. Maybe I will offer some political insight into the latest goings on in Washington.

Put up your money.  Make your Final Jeopardy wagers.

You have your answer.


Ignore the above. read this. List the column as number 537 in the "I wish I had written that" category. I would not change a word.

January 16, 2011

Sunday in This Town

We visited my mom and dad yesterday afternoon. They are doing great.  dad is 73 today. He looks 53.

Afterward we went to visit some good friends.  We ate some pizza, drank a couple of beers (I did anyway -- and it was two beers to be exact). We played some Euchre and had some laughs. All in all, a pretty good Saturday.  Except for the lack of snuggling etc.  I guess I need to turn down the furnace.

Here we are on a Sunday.  I am not in the mood for politics. I don't have any jokes for you. I have nothing to discuss except the mundane aspects of my life.

Here is some Sunday music for you. heck, everyone loves the Go Gos, and this one you may not know (except it sounds like every other song they wrote).

I saw the GoGos back in the early 1980's.  They put on a good show.

January 15, 2011

A long post filled with random boring stuff

Weird things are gong on around here.  I thought I had put the post below in the can to be published early Friday morning while I was traveling to the extremes of the Hoosier State. For some reason it did not publish.  I finally put it up manually yesterday afternoon. Some of its hard hitting impact was lost, n'est pas?

I have been getting some rather bizarre spam lately. Along with the Chinese stuff, I am getting this kind of brilliant analysis:
Steady, they bellow for to be taught that filing lawsuits is not the predilection to wind-up piracy. Inch aside inch than, it's to spoor something beating than piracy. Like cease-fire of use. It's indubitably a a barrel easier to look down on iTunes than to search the Internet with gamble of malware and then crappy je sais quoi, but if people are expected to rouse enveloping not at home of the closet to be loads and heist owing ages, it's not affluent to work. They hardly be subjected to a see-through together forwards people codify software and Spider's fittings sites that amount to it ridiculously well-disposed to corsair, and up the quality. If that happens, then there compel be no stopping piracy. But they're too circumspect and appalled of losing. Risks anchored to be spellbound

I was standing around at the drug store this week waiting on the pharmacist to refill my prescription. I was looking at the diabetic supplies and a new blood glucose meter caught my eye. It has an attached USB so you can plug it right into the computer to keep track of your readings, make handy charts and graphs and such. I loves me some user-friendly technology -- I cannot resist. Only it cost like $75. Uh, no.

But wait! There was a coupon hanging nearby that offered $35 bucks off. Still too much when I have a meter at home that works perfectly well. That one I got for free.

But wait! I looked a little further down the shelf and there was a coupon hanging there that said I could get the handy dandy USB meter for free, gratis, no charge. Hells yeah, I was all over that.

So last night I opened the box, charged the unit and read the instructions. yes, as I get to be an old fart I find my life is much easier if I  read the instruction manual. It is kind of like the rule of thumb we have all learned doing home repair and construction projects -- measure twice three times, cut once. I read the instructions. I was all set to use the unit this morning.

I put out a drop of the control solution to make sure the unit was working OK. Then, because I am perverse this way, I set up the old unit with a test strip and the new gadget with a test strip and poked my left little finger.  I squeezed a big drop pf blood and tested it with both units. It was high. I new that was coming, a late night cheat on the diet always shows up in the measurements.  But there was a problem. The new unit was 15 points higher than the old unit. Which one is wrong?

Now I am no mathematician or scientist.  I have enough of a liberal arts education to know one test point is not a trend nor is it even data (except when pushing global warming/cooling/change). I am going to have to keep my eye on this. I do not need anything to measure my blood sugar any higher, especially in the am.

Coincidentally -- and I know you are all bored shitless by this discussion -- I am sure, based on my three month blood tests, the old meter is fairly accurate. I probably will not keep you updated on this situation. I know and you are welcome.

Go forth and have a great Saturday.  It is cold, snuggle up with your Honey -- maybe you will get laid.

January 14, 2011

That's all people

I think many of us across the nation can relate to this sentiment this week.

Just ride the storm out people.

January 13, 2011

Theres something happening here

For the third night in the past week I have had detailed vivid dreams about eating donuts: jelly filled, glazed, maple iced. I can taste them, I can smell them.  They are fresh and warm and delicious.

I do not need any Freudian analysis to figure the meaning of these dreams.

I want some friggin' donuts.

Joke of the week

For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10-speed bicycle.. His father said, 'Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it.' The next day the father saw little Joseph heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he   asked, 'Son, where are you going?' Little Joseph told him; 'I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage and no fucking bike!

Sent to me by my brother. Gotta give credit where credit is due.

January 12, 2011


I just got off the phone with a friend in Minnesota.

He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist

high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping below zero and

the north wind is increasing. His wife has done nothing but look

through the kitchen window. He says that if it gets much worse, he

may have to let her in.

Turn out the lights, the party's over

I am not Miss Manners. I am not the final arbiter of taste. I am not the ultimate authority on what is right and proper throughout the world --YET.

I do know this. It is the twelfth day of January. It is time to turn off your Christmas lights. Dim that Christmas tree in the window. I know the weather may preclude climbing on the roof and removing those blinking green and purple icicle lights, but you do not have to turn them on.

Heck, my Mother-in-law (may she rest in Peace) kept Christmas lights hung on her carport year round.  When those burned out, she hung new ones over the old.  But she only turned them on from December 1 through New Years.

I know I am addressing more than just a few still burring the festive Holiday lights. I know of at least six houses within a few miles of my humble abode.

I say enough. It is time to dim the Holiday spirit.

January 11, 2011

Why, Oh Why?

If you are a reader of the NY Times, why? If you are a subscriber, why haven't you cancelled your subscription?

I am all for free speech, but the works of Paul Krugman are so offensive, no one should support the rantings he offers.  The publishers should hang their head in shame.

The "Old Gray Lady" is just a hate-filled crazy old bitch screaming at imaginary kids to get off her lawn, a Gloria Swanson in Sunset Boulevard. Too bad for us, we have seen her close-up. All that remains is the shell of what the paper used to be, and lots of sad partisanship.


Perhaps I should be less obtuse. If you post or write that Sarah Palin, or Rush or the Tea Party or any other person or political view is responsible for the tragedy in Tucson, you have mental problems. You lack the ability to reason coherently, or are so consumed with hate you have lost touch with reality.

Should we blame Democrats and liberals for the attempted assassination of Ronald Reagan?  Are liberals and socialists and communists responsible for the murder of JFK?  Should we blame all environmentalists for the attacks at the Discovery Channel last year? Is the Daily Kos responsible for Tucson, a co-conspirator with the former Governor of Alaska, since that website "targeted" the Congresswoman from Arizona before last years primaries? Of course not.

Crazy people do crazy shit. Sometimes there is no one to blame.

January 10, 2011

Oh no, I am almost out of eggs, and bread and milk...I must get to the store

For once I gave in.

The Snow Team/Scare Team has prophesied a major snowstorm for Tuesday/Wednesday. Historically the meteorology Cassandras have a less than stellar record when predicting such storms. I usually take their low estimate and cut it in half. I am proud to say I am often more accurate.  It seems as if the predictions are less reliable with more modern models and computer simulations than they were in the days when the weatherman stuck magnetic suns and snowflakes to a map of the state and region. But then I am old and my memory is often what I want it to be instead of the way things were.

Anyway, I have changed some appointments in semi-distant cities for Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday morning. The prospect of bucking drifting snow on half-plowed roads for an appointment I do not need to attend has no interest for me. I have rescheduled for more favorable conditions later in the week.

If the prognosticators have over-estimated the storm, as is often the case, I will look a chicken-little fool. Perhaps I will appear a prudent traveller, taking heed of potentially dangerous situations. In any case, I will be ensconced in my faux-leather office chair watching either a little or a lot of snow through my West-facing window on the morrow.

Is there good news for you, dear reader, in this rambling post? It depends on your point of view. If I am not in the car battling the elements I will have the opportunity to post drivel like this. I suspect there are at least a few of you who fervently wish I would not watch the weather in the future.

Less than 25 words

I really have nothing to add to the discourse of the day. People who use tragedy for political gain are sick and reprehensible.

January 9, 2011

I have seen this movie before

The Colts are once again one and done in the playoffs. The offense cannot score touchdowns, and the defense cannot stop the run.  This time horrible special teams play was the dagger in the back in the three pronged loser trifecta. We have seen this movie before -- seven times in the first round of the playoffs.

For the life of me I cannot understand the conservative play calling. With almost a minute left in the first half, two time outs and good field position, The Colts made no effort to try and get the ball down field for a possible field goal attempt. It was clear by that point in the game the contest was going to be a low scoring affair, why not take a chance knowing the Jets have the ball to start the second half? History gives a recent example where bold play calling wins playoff football games.  Remember the Saints onside kick to start the second half in last years' Superbowl? Then late in the fourth quarter the Colts tried to run on a third and forever, when they had been averaging less than two yards per carry. Reggie Wayne was targeted one freakin' time the whole game.

Kicker McAfee's leg must be waterlogged, he has struggled kicking deep. again and his punts were short and high. Why didn't the Colts just bounce one down the middle of the field, a low line drive on that final kickoff? The coverage teams had already given up a 40+ yard return. Then, once again the Colts defense proved the prevent defense does nothing but prevent your team from winning.  The Jets moved into field goal range in just two plays, the corners giving enough room for your average high school receiver/quarterback combo to complete a ten yard pass. In that last drive, the coaching staff did their best to help too by calling a timeout to give the Jets time to plan another play! WTH?

Sure this team was decimated by injuries, you could have fielded a damn good team with the Colts IR and the Packers IR lists. The refs flags were velcroed in their pants. But that is no excuse.  The home team had chances to win. Once again we can sing the same old song regarding the Indianapolis Colts in the playoffs. The offense cannot score, the defense cannot defend and the special teams are a disaster. Except Vinateri.  That guy is clutch.

I guess I will have to root for Da Bears now.

January 8, 2011

Capricorn Nights

The wife and I were in the mood to wee a movie last night.  We went to see the new Gwyneth Paltrow flick, Country Strong. I am not much for country music and I am not usually up for a drama when I go to the movies.  I want to escape, not watch other people's problems. But WOW!

This is a great movie. There will Oscar (insert proper trademark here please) nominations for this film. I am not going to spoil it with details, but if you are looking for an enjoyable movie to see, this one gets 4 Hoosierboy Average Joe stars out of four possible.

In other news, we got about an inch of snow flurries yesterday and last night. That damn Kindle is addictive. My coffee is getting cold. I have no idea what the title of this post even means.  It came to me as I looked at the damn blinking cursor.

Have a great Saturday.

January 7, 2011

The weekend is nearly upon us

It is Friday, finally. When I am King of the World (and for the life of my I am not sure why I have not yet been designated) the Holiday season will be followed by a four day work week, so we can ease back in a little. Are you with me on this?

I have my monthly report and my quarterly report due today. I am not sure why I can't just say "read the previous three monthly reports" for my quarterly report. It would save time and effort. Eliminate waste! I just cut and paste from the monthlies.

I just started my second load of laundry this morning. Working from home has its advantages.  Does the idea of me doing laundry make you hot ladies? Last night the wife was lying (laying? I never could conjugate that verb correctly and I am too lazy to look it up) on the floor next to the fire.  I got down and gave her a kiss. I asked her if I was getting her all hot and bothered. She said she was at least being bothered. I had to laugh. That was a good one.

I have no big plans for the weekend, other than watching some football Saturday night as the Colts take on the loathsome Jets. How about you?

January 6, 2011

Today's earworm

A great live version of the Traffic song from the last post.

Here is a version from the Clapton/Winwood tour a few years ago. It features Winwood soloing the whole thing.  Truly awesome. The guy can still belt out a tune.

Here is a bonus, 'cause you can never get too much Traffic:

Thirsty Thursday

I kicked my own ass yesterday. I am sure if I had advertised my location a long line would have formed to join in the fun.

Today finds me slightly more motivated and in a much better humor. Not that you care. You shouldn't.

Here are some lyrics for you to chew on:

The percentage you're paying is too high priced
While you're living beyond all your means
And the man in the suit has just bought a new car
From the profit he's made on your dreams
Can you identify the artist and song? Let me know in the comments your best guess. No fair using Google or any other search engine.  I am looking to see who has some real classic rock trivia knowledge.

January 5, 2011

Observations on the New Year

Sugar free apple cinnamon instant oatmeal is not very good.

The older I get, the less interest in basketball I have.  I guess I will have to turn in my Hoosier citizenship card.

I did not enter the new year enthused about work.

In fact my motivation level for diet and exercise is at a recent low. I blame the Kindle.

My motivation for continuing this hobby is at an all time low.

A strange defeatist attitude is starting to enter my brain regarding politics.  We are at a historic crossroads for the future of our nation. I fully expect the elected politicians to let me down, to do what is best for their financial future and political future with no regards to the political future of their nation. I have come to the conclusion all politicians are self-serving ego maniacs. I have no faith any will step up and lead this country toward the future. That depresses me to no end. The idea of self serving politicians is not new.  Read some history of the Constitutional Convention and you will see how George Washington manipulated the proceedings to get himself nominated as the first President. There is ample evidence Lincoln supporters filled the convention hall with fake delegates to get him the nomination in 1860.

I don't know.  I have not faced a dose of apathy like this for a long time. I am not sure if it is post-holiday blues, the onset of deep winter, or too long off work.

I know. Time to suck it up.

January 4, 2011

Long hair is not a right under the Fourteenth Amendment

As I become increasingly cantankerous I often feel the urge to smack certain people firmly on the side of the head with a baseball bat. I would, of course, use proper follow through when administering this erstwhile "clue bat".

Today I am strongly fighting the urge to head down Interstate 74 to South Central Indiana and beat Patrick and Melissa Hayden, the parents of a Greensburg Junior High Schooler. The Haydens have sued the Greensburg School Corporation because the basketball coach had the unmitigated gall to require his players cut their hair! Patrick and Melissa have sued in Federal Court to have the policy declared Unconstitutional and for ...wait for it...damages! source another source

Really? Not participating in sports at the Junior High level will cause the precious little  hippie "irreparable harm"?  I am all for supporting Constitutional rights. I makes me sick, but if assholes want to burn the Flag, it is their right. I do think a group or organization has the right to define grooming standards that best represent that group. The basketball team in this case is representing the school and the community. The student is participating by his own choice. He knew the rules going in.

Back in the stone ages of the 1970s I participated in wrestling. In those waning hippies days popular hair styles were every bit as long or even longer, than today. In fact, the only students in the high school that had hair above their collars, eyebrows and showing any ear at all were either in ROTC or playing on a sports team. I wanted to participate, so I cut my hair. Guess what? It grew back!

Yes, Mr. and Mrs. Hayden, human hair grows back after it is cut! Imagine, your precious boy can cut his hair if he wants to play, then it will grow back in a month or two. Crazy, I know.

The Haydens of Greensburg need to teach their son a lesson. It is not that The Man is out to stifle his individual freedom, but that life is not fair. If you want to work as a server in a fine dining establishment, the owners are going to insist you take the studs from you cheeks and chin. Mike Tyson-like tattoos on your face will not get you that coveted CEO position. My company expects me to be well groomed. I would much prefer to wear my comfortable Levis and an old T-shirt when I visit customers, but that is not the professional image I or my company want to project.

Playing sports is a privilege. You have to wear the stupid shorts and tank top if you play basketball. Some teams make the players wear matching shoes. Unless the Haydens can prove their little precious is a modern-day Sampson, that his long hair gives him extraordinary abilities to rebound and toss up three pointers like Reggie Miller, he needs to cut his hair.

Serious Tort reform that makes the loser pay court costs would eliminate this kind of nonsense. The Haydens will be the first to whine and complain when their property taxes go up, never making the connection that taxpayer money will be used in the legal defense of this lawsuit and to pay any damages they might win. Man, if I could be a judge for a day...Can you rule the Plaintiffs are fucking morons?

January 3, 2011

Can you hear me now?

It is funny how life works. Remember when The Obama took office and he told us all that elections have consequences? Remember how Pelosi and Reid and their gang of leftists got together and wrote the health care bill without any minority input?  Remember how they shoved the Stimulus that did not stimulate down our throats? Do you remember those events?

Now The Obama says that the Republicans should try and compromise, they should work with him, not against him. Now that the American people have elected non-Commie motherfuckers, he is all for compromise.

I say the Republican party damn well not only remain the party of "NO", but steadfastly stick to "Hell NO" at every opportunity. If Bill number 1 in the new Congress is not a repeal of Obamacare (even if it will not succeed), there will voter Hell to pay.

I no longer give a shit about the Republican Party. I want Conservative principles and a limited, smaller Government. If the RINOs in charge do get that, they can bite me and find themselves hanging out in the dusty shelf of history along with the Whigs.

The people have spoken.

Reason 2,657 why you should hate Democrats

Have you purchased gas lately? It cost more than $40 bucks to fill up my car last week. I suspect the wife's SUV will forget what a full tank is like until prices moderate.

Remember when the Democrats took charge of Congress in 2006?  They claimed opening ANWAR and offshore oil fields would do nothing to alleviate escalating fuel costs because it would take five years before those sources could contribute? Five years later oil prices are again surging. We do not have additional domestic sources on line because the Democrats will not allow us to drill our own resources. They would rather we give our steadily declining in value greenbacks to Mid-East terrorists and Communist thugs in South America.

But we are building windmills.

January 1, 2011


Happy New Year.

It was time for a house cleaning.  The other guy is gone. I am in charge now.
Meet the new boss
Same as the old boss

You gotta give credit to The Who, they knew what they were talking about.
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