September 24, 2022
September 23, 2022
September 22, 2022
September 21, 2022
I’ve been to Mexico. I’m talking real Mexico, not just the tourist beaches. I’m talking of Reynosa, Monterrey, Puebla, Mexico City. I’ve seen how poor some people are, how difficult their lives. I’ve seen how people live in some parts of China. I’m told by people who have been there that’s parts of South America, India, and the Middle East are worse. I imagine life in parts of Africa is hard and miserable.
I get it. I wish we could help them all. If I lived in those conditions I would do everything in my power to improve the lot of my family.
It doesn’t make it right.
The fact they are looking for a better life doesn’t mean we should open our borders. Before you tell me what a jerk I am, let me know how many homeless people you let move into your spare bedroom? How many immigrants have you housed in your garage?
What is the difference?
Immigration proponents argue that migrants actually commit fewer crimes than American Citizens. I posit that is false on the surface. Every single one committed a crime when they illegally crossed the border. That is 100%.
I’ve said it before, crack down on the employers of illegal workers. Fine them out of business. Tax bank and wire transactions to Mexico. If any “migrant” is caught committing a SECOND crime, even a traffic ticket, immediate deportation upon conviction.
Anyone caught using a stolen SSN should be charged with fraud, just as an American citizen would be. The IRS could do this easily enough. Maybe some of those new 80000 new agents could get on creating that database.
September 20, 2022
September 19, 2022
Happy Monday. I was up mucho early for a meeting with the Euros and Asians. Since things were arranged for their convenience, that meant the alarm was chirping at 3:30 am so I could blink awake and sip a bit of coffee prior to the 4:00 start. I will knock off early this afternoon in compensation this afternoon.
The weekend was good, I hope yours was too. Friday night we watched the grandgirls while the daughter had a grown-up birthday dinner. Saturday we hung out at the pool, laughing and enjoying the company of great friends. Then came Sunday. I mowed the yard early. I put stuff in the attic and dragged down the fall/Halloween decorations as directed by the wife. Then I watched the absolutely horrid, pathetic, putrid, embarrassing performance by the Colts. I could have switched over and watched the Cubs, but they are pretty much just as awful. Did I say just how awful the Colts were?
We went out for a quick dinner then I helped the wife put out decorations on the porch as dusk started to settle.
But hey, I read this morning President Biden says inflation is under control, the border is secure and the check is in the mail. I want some of whatever his speech writer is smoking.
I am fighting off the yawns. Maybe I need some more coffee.
Have a great Monday.
September 16, 2022
Happy Friday. It has been a long week. Actually, it has lasted as long as every other week, it just seems like a longer week than normal.
It is hilarious to see the reactions of Blue cities and states on the arrival of a few “migrants”, aka illegal immigrants. Southern states are facing an onslaught of 8,000/day and the Governor of Massachusetts is going nuts over a dozen or so dropped in Martha’s Vineyard. Does the leftist hypocrisy bring no shame?
I got up early to compile numbers into spreadsheets for a meeting with top management in just a bit.
In other news, nothing. How about I grab the old phone and post the next song in my queue? Think of it as musical Russian Roulette.
Looks like we win today.
Have a great Friday.
September 15, 2022
Can someone, anyone, explain to me how we are going to get the power to charge all of these tens of thousands of new charges Biden is planning for all of the electric cars the lefty government types are forcing upon us?
I see no plans at all to strengthen the grid to the extent we need to keep up with current demand as we shutter coal plants, let alone increasing demand exponentially.
If we cover the entire Midwest farm land with solar panels, where are we going to get our food?
September 14, 2022
September 13, 2022
After their barn burned down,
Bob’s wife Sally called their insurance agent to file a claim and demand the amount the barn was insured for, $60,000.
“Hold on just a second there, that’s not the way it works. First, we’ll send out an adjuster to assess the damage, then we’ll provide you with a replacement barn, just like the original,” stated the agent.
After a lengthy pause, Sally replied,
“What! Well, if that’s the way it works, cancel the life insurance on my husband immediately.”
September 12, 2022
One Saturday evening a teenage girl came downstairs for her date and she was wearing a see-through blouse and no bra.
Her grandmother, on seeing her dressed like that, threw a right old fit, telling her that she looked like a slut and not to dare to go out dressed like that!
The teenager told her grandmother:
“Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rosebuds show!”
And with that, out she went and slammed the door behind her.
The next day, the teenager came down the stairs and was shocked to find her grandmother sitting in the living room with no top on.
The teenager was so embarrassed that she wanted to die.
She explained to her grandmother that she had friends coming over and that the way she was dressed was just not appropriate.
Her grandmother said:
“Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off your rosebuds, then I can display my hanging baskets.!”
September 11, 2022
September 9, 2022
September 8, 2022
September 7, 2022
September 6, 2022
September 5, 2022
September 4, 2022
I’ve often described I had a baby face and looked far younger than my years for decades. Only in the past few years do I look my age (perhaps even older).
|Sorry, gone. you should read here every day|
Here is 14 year-old me in the fall of my freshman year in high school. I could have passed for a 10 year old. For some reason this is one of my favorite pictures of young me. Despite the assumed scowl, the real sarcastic me was about to erupt in wry humor. Trust me. I found much of life amusing in those years.
September 3, 2022
September 2, 2022
September 1, 2022
But critics say that, while ending the state’s dirtiest source of energy is ultimately a good move, doing so now is not. Renewable sources meant to replace coal energy are not yet online because of permitting delays, contract issues and pandemic-related supply-chain problems. So the state will instead burn costlier oil, which is only slightly less polluting than coal.
If you are a believer that climate change is going to end because we shut down this coal plant, this is a great day for you,” said Democratic state Sen. Glenn Wakai, chair of the Committee on Economic Development, Tourism and Technology. “But if you pay an electricity bill, this is a disastrous day for you.” Source
Sure, we cannot replace that coal fired plant, but we did something.
August 31, 2022
August 30, 2022
August 29, 2022
|What is wrong with this man?|
August 28, 2022
It was a nice sunny late summer day yesterday so the wife and I climbed into the Grand Cherokee for a short road trip back to the old hometown. We went to the ice cream stand for tacos. The wife opted for a vanilla Coke while I washed down my food with a diet. Don’t question why the ice cream place has good tacos, they just do.
We went past the vacant lot that housed my old elementary school. Nothing remains but the crumbling asphalt and gravel where the playground was. None of that soft rubber matting you find in modern playgrounds. Kids in the sixties were tough, or perhaps we were just hurt far more because safety was never a consideration.
We played on stuff like this
The wife went to the antique shop she wanted to visit, bought nothing, and we motored home the “scenic” route. It was scenic only in that it was twisty and less travelled than the other state highway we could have chosen. The vista was flat as you imagine Kansas to be (it’s not) and corn and beans and trees dotted with farm houses and occasional double-wide trailers filled the horizon.
As we came back into the north ‘burbs of the metro sprawl we stopped so the wife could window shop a little more then grabbed a bite of supper before arriving back at the homestead in time to watch pre-season football, a baseball game, and a cowboy movie in a display of simultaneous channel flipping remote control dexterity. The wife was upstairs doing whatever she does and missed the fun.
I suspect it was on purpose.
August 27, 2022
August 26, 2022
She is one of those dark-haired Alabama girls, a kind of stringy little girl, dark, and, if you look closely, feature by feature, you see that she is not pretty. But her face is so alive all the time time that afterward you would swear she is pretty.
August 25, 2022
August 24, 2022
August 23, 2022
August 22, 2022
Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.
Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces,
“Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. “
“Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!”
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.
An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks,
“Esther, did we pay our $5,000 PBS pledge check yet?”
“No, sweetheart,” she responds.
Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks,
“Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet?”
“Oh, no! I’m sorry. I forgot to send the check,” she says.
“One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send checks for the Visa and MasterCard this month?” he asks.
“Oh, forgive me, Abie,” begged Esther.
“I didn’t send that one, either.”
Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years.
Esther pulls away and asks him,
“What was that for?”
“They’ll find us!”
August 20, 2022
The Democrats just passed an inflation bill that hires 87,000 new IRS agents and I just got audited.
I just received an audit on my tax return for 2021 back from the IRS. It puzzles me!!!
They are questioning how many dependents I claimed.
I guess it was because of my response to the question: "List all dependents?"
I replied: 12 million illegal immigrants; 3 million crack heads;
42 million unemployed people on food stamps,
2 million people in over 243 prisons;
Half of Mexico and 535 persons in the U.S. House and Senate."
1 useless President.
Evidently, this was NOT an acceptable answer.
I KEEP ASKING MYSELF, WHO DID I MISS?
True confession, this is a semi-rerun from 2013.
August 19, 2022
August 18, 2022
August 17, 2022
August 16, 2022
A husband in his backyard is trying to fly a kite.
He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing back down to earth.
He tries this a few more times with no success.
All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window, Muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.
She opens the window and yells to her husband,
‘You need a piece of tail.’
The man turns with a confused look on his face and says,
‘Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite.’
August 15, 2022
August 14, 2022
It is said that funerals are for the living. The one we attended yesterday was a case in point. My wife’s ex-brother-in-law passed away earlier this week. As the minister stated “there are a lot of mixed emotions here today”. I can say for my case I wasn’t there for the deceased and I can state irrevocably my wife wasn’t. We were there for her sister and niece.
It was good to see my wife’s family. As for the deceased, my mother told me not to speak ill of the dead. I guess I already have. He died with no family outside of an ex-wife who stayed married to him way too long and an estranged daughter who only reconnected after he got sick and had no one else to call.
What abuses he piled on his family in the years before his divorce I am sure I only know the surface.
But I knew his secrets.
As I said, I was there for the living.
I said a prayer for him. I’m not sure I meant it. For that I ask forgiveness.
He was a Vietnam vet. I appreciate his service.
August 13, 2022
August 12, 2022
This canned post was originally published Tuesday. I moved it to state my disgust with the modern American Stasi. I’m half afraid to publish anything political. Tell me I’m wrong.
If you have a Democrat for one of your Senators, you can rest comfortably knowing your Senator refuses to acknowledge that only females can get pregnant. Every Democrat senator voted that way Saturday.
These are the same people who are always telling us to follow the science.
Sorry, if you tell me in the same breath that climate change is a direct threat to my existence and that a man can have a baby, I’d say I don’t believe anything you tell me.
August 11, 2022
August 10, 2022
If it costs you ninety cents to make the vases and you sell it for $1.00 you have a ten percent profit margin. If it costs $0.93 to make the vases and you sell them for $1.00 you will have a 7% profit margin. If you sell 1,000 vases you will make $70. If you make $700,000 you will have sold 10,000,000 little hippy flower vases. Your profit margin is still 7%. Your profits increased 999,900%. Your margin remained the same. Did you gouge anyone? Did you have windfall profits? Should we now consider you evil Big Vase? I have probably lost you hippy liberal types here. Look up the profit margin of evil Big Oil after you are done here.
Back to your little, but growing hippy vase manufacturing company. You are cruising along making hot hippy chicks happy because they can put flowers in their hair when they go to San Francisco. Suddenly, you get a bill in the mail from the Government. You owe TAXES. These include payroll taxes, permit fees, waste fees, property taxes, warehouse taxes, income taxes, etc. etc. You divide the taxes you owe by the number of hippy vases you make and discover the taxes equal $0.10 for every vase you make. You are only making $0.07 per vase, so the extra ten cents means you will lose three cents for every hippy vase you sell after you pay the taxes. If you sell 10,000,000 vases you will lose $300,000! Your only recourse is to raise prices. To keep the same 7% profit you made last year (and you really wanted to make a little more to get that new hybrid car)your new price for hippy flower vases is now $1.07 each. Some hot hippy chicks are going to have to pay just a bit more to put fresh flowers in their hair when they go to San Francisco.
Are still with me here, my Liberal Friends? What happens if the Government raises taxes on your business again? That is right, you will have to raise your prices more (please tell me I do not have to go through the math again). Thus, raising taxes on businesses equals higher prices for the consumer -- even hot hippy chicks who just want to put flowers in their hair if they go to San Francisco.
Hey guess what? The business did not really pay the taxes to the Government. The initial .10 per vase was rolled into the selling price and subsequent tax increases were too! Businesses really do not pay taxes.
August 9, 2022
August 8, 2022
The Senate passed the massive tax hike and green energy bill over the weekend. I hope you feel good about dumping another $80 billion into the IRS, half of which will go to enhanced enforcement. We know from the last Democrat President what that probably means — going after conservatives and political enemies. Obama did it without consequences.
On the other hand The Most Popular President Ever has screwed up everything else so why not the IRS.
Maybe they are going to use all of those new agents to go collect taxes from the flood of illegals who are crossing the uncontrolled border and the employers who hire them? Sure, that will happen the day after People Magazine puts me on the cover of the world’s sexiest man issue.
The FBI has determined anyone who supports the 2nd Amendment, flies the Betsy Ross flag or has a “Don’t tread on me” sticker on their bumper is a potential right wing terrorist, so you judge who this administration views as people to investigate. I don’t think all that money and tens of thousands of rounds of ammo the IRS bought are going to be used to man the 1-800 tax help hotline.
August 7, 2022
August 6, 2022
August 5, 2022
It normally takes around 2-3 years for sulfate aerosols from volcanoes to fall out of the stratosphere. But the water from the Jan. 15 eruption could take 5-10 years to fully dissipate.
August 4, 2022
August 3, 2022
August 2, 2022
A lion and his wife lived in a cave, and every day there was this fox who would come sit in front of the cave and start making fun of the lion and teasing him:
“You call yourself a king? You’re nothing but a p**sy who’s afraid of his own shadow. If you’re a real lion come out here and fight me! Oh, you think you’re so fierce, you sissy!”.
The lion’s wife would get so annoyed
“Why are you letting him get away with this? If you’re not gonna do something about this, I WILL!”,
And the lion would say
“Just ignore him, he’s a freaking fox, he’s not worth it, just let it go”.
One day, she felt that she couldn’t take it anymore, and decided to handle the situation by herself.
She came out of the cave and started running after the fox.
The fox ran and ran, but the lioness was close on his heel. He entered a pipe and got out on the other end.
When she tried to get in, she got stuck, so the fox came from behind and f**k*d her in the a**.
The lioness went back to the cave, angry and frustrated.
The lion looked at her and said:
“So… He took you to the pipe didn’t he..”
August 1, 2022
I sometimes wonder if the evil live AI controlling my iPhone possesses a sense of irony. I was listening to my music on shuffle while mowing yesterday. Barry Sadler’s homage to the military played:
Right after was a song with a message completely opposite:
July 31, 2022
July 30, 2022
Of course I laughed. So did my wife, she sent it to me. No it is not a cartoon about her, she doesn’t have blond hair...
And now it is time for AnyMouse to launch a diatribe on sexism because nothing is ever a joke to the perpetually aggrieved leftists.
July 29, 2022
Shares of Stanley Black and Decker tumbled nearly 14% yesterday after the tool-making giant posted less-than-expected earnings. It seems as prices of everyday stuff rises people are not going out to buy new drills, saws, and nailers.
Yet the Biden cabal is telling us we are not in a recession. Inflation was just reported as the highest since the early 1980s. Now the Democrats want to double down with another massive spending program.
Look, I’ll readily admit economics wasn’t my strongest subject in college. I do know very smart people with degrees in economics. They have consented over the years to explain economics to me in layman’s terms. Quite simply, the more money in an economy the greater risk of inflation. The big payments and giveaways early in the Biden Administration (and Trump — he shares in this) put too much money into the economy and coupled with decreasing the flow of oil, has resulted in massive inflation.
This is what you get when you elect people whose entire economic theory is expressed in a hippie song.
July 28, 2022
July 27, 2022
July 26, 2022
John went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan. After spending a great evening chatting the night away, the next morning John’s grandfather prepared a breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.
However, John noticed a film-like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking,
‘Are these plates clean?’
His grandfather replied: ‘They’re as clean as cold water can get ‘em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!’
For lunch, the old man made hamburgers.
Again, John was concerned about the plates, as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked: ‘Are you sure these plates are clean?’
Without looking up the old man said: ‘I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don’t you fret, I don’t want to hear another word about it!’
Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather’s dog started to growl, and wouldn’t let him pass.
John yelled: ‘Grandfather, your dog won’t let me get to my car’.
Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted:
“Coldwater, go lay down now, yah hear me?!’
July 25, 2022
I decided some fresh corn on the cob would be good for supper with the pulled pork. I was going to grill it but rumbling thunder and steady rain convinced me to throw it in a pot of boiling water instead.
Just as supper was about to come together that weird buzzing and piercing tone those of us who live in flyover country know so well erupted from my phone and the TV. Tornado warning! I switched over to the local station to get the weather radar. A big red and purple blob was moving right at the old homestead from the west.
I pulled the potatoes from the oven, grabbed the wife and headed for the basement.
No I didn’t. I don’t even have a basement. Instead I went to the front windows and looked to the west see what I could see. I saw the gutters overflowing and the newly laid mulch splattering on the porch. I saw the maple limbs whipping in the wind. I did not see twisters in the sky.
The corn was done so we sat down to eat as the warning expired. It was some mild excitement to an otherwise dull Sunday.
July 24, 2022
July 23, 2022
It is strange how I cannot wake up during the week but get up early on the weekend. So here I sit on the couch, a hot cup of coffee steaming on the end table pecking away one-fingered on the iPad. Life is good.
I had a political rant forming in my mind. I let it go. I’m not gonna change any minds. Sure, I will drop a screed in the coming days, it is what I do. Not today.
We are heading off to our friends’ for a pool day. Since we never go empty-handed I have a couple of snacks to make later this morning. We are taking some kind of peanut butter brownie cupcake things from a mix the wife bought. I am also going to throw some Velveeta and Rotelle in the crockpot for some easy nacho dip.
Whose dip is it? Nacho dip.
Yes, I went there. More? Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the sides of their ships? So when they come to port they can Scandinavian.
Try it out loud.
I’ve said it many times, you get what you pay for around here.
Have a great Saturday. I plan on it.
Edit so much for plans. The rains that were scheduled for early morning have set it and made swimming an unattractive option. Instead we will join our friends this evening for cheap eats and some cards. Almost as good. I’ll take it.
If I was as bad at forecasting as the weather people I would be out of a job. And worse, they are totally unapologetic about their failure so very often to be right and accurate.