October 31, 2010

Sermons from the Church of Hoosierboy

It is a breezy cool Sunday morning. I know fall is really here and old man winter is coming down the street. It is 7:51 am and it is still dark outside. I do not mind the cold or the snow of winter, it is the late sunrise and early sunsets that get to me. I know there are places in the Northern part of the state and most of Michigan that see a perpetual cloud cover in winter, making the short daylight hours seem even more gloomy.

Back during my cubicle days, I would leave for work before the sun came up and most days I did not leave until after it had set. My glimpse of sun was a small sliver from the front offices, or when I was in the breakroom.  In those days I could not wait to escape to take lunch, Now, I can look out my office window or go outside and walk around at my leisure. It is so refreshing, even if it is only for a minute or two. I often think about going back to production control or management, bur the idea of set 7-5 working hours depresses me. I will take my flexible schedule, even if it sometimes means 14 or 18 hour days. Dealing with idiot drivers and the hassles of the TSA are a small price to pay for the ability to see the sun.

In a few weeks I have to travel to the Corporate offices to attend a sales meeting. Woo hoo, I am thrilled (and your sarcasm meter should be pegged on high at this moment). Anyway, my boss sent an email to his "team"* stating we need a certain report in early. The reason -- he is going to be at the Corporate office that week! Yes, you guessed it --at the frickin' sales meeting. The same sales meeting his entire "team" will be attending! What a coincidence.

We take the wife's crumpled car in to get fixed finally on Monday. What a pain in the arse. It took a while, but the other guy's insurance finally came through and paid. The insurance company did not even send an adjuster, they just paid the lowest of the two estimates, I guess since they were only about $60 apart. The total damages were more than four grand.

I think I have rambled on enough here. I am going to read a few blogs and then take my morning exercise. Then I believe I am in the mood for some cowboys and horses. Lonesome Dove, Big Jake, or Joe Kidd?

Big Dick, where are you?

Oh, Happy Halloween. Try not to eat too much candy.

Am I the only one who is amazed I can fill up so many posts, so often, with utterly stupid, meaningless, drivel? For the life of me, I cannot understand why anyone stops by here anymore.

*There is a whole post there -- I hate being be called Team. I am an employee

October 30, 2010

Saturday Music

You may not have heard this song. It is from one of Mellencamp's early albums, before he went all liberal on us. The lyrics describe Midwest small town life perfectly.

Have a great Saturday.

October 29, 2010

Meet your host

It is Friday. Yesterday was payday. It is cold out, below freezing. I guess fall is in the air. How long until Indian Summer? Do you want to hear about my many aches and pains?  I thought not. I thought my attitude toward blogging would be better today. Trust me, it is me, not you. MTS left me a comment a couple of posts ago that has inspired me this morning, however.

Here are some things about me you may not know.  I am sure I have related much of this previously. In fact, I may have done this same post in the past. But what the heck, it gets us through a Friday!

Here are ten things about me you may not know:

1. I do not like to be touched. I do not want to be hugged by strangers or semi-strangers.  I am not even too crazy about non-immediate family members hugging me. I do not mind shaking hands. Kissing is out of the question.

2. I do not have a toenail on my right big toe. The freak industrial accident that caused the disfigurement would make you sick to your stomach. Or a doctor removed it because of a chronic ingrown toenail. You choose.

3. I was born six weeks premature. Weird coincidence; I was born on the first day of spring, my brother Otter on the first day of fall.

4. I studied French for four years in high school and two years in college. I cannot understand a word of that language when it is spoken to me, and can only speak a few words of it anymore. I can read it a little. I can probably understand, speak and read German as well as French these days. I never studied German at all. I have been to Germany a half dozen times, France only once.

5. I have been to 42 states (of Obama's 57). I have been in Mexico, Canada, Great Britain, Germany, Austria, France, The Netherlands, and Italy.

6. I have twice jumped out of a perfectly good airplane.

7. The taste of whiskey/bourbon/scotch will make me instantly vomit. Damn you Hogshead Bill.

8. I drink my coffee black and ice tea unsweetened..

9. My favorite candy is JuJubes. I am also fond of Dots and red licorice. I have had none of them in the past two months.

10. There are only 16 cigars in my humidor. I am dangerously low. I enjoy a variety of cigars, natural and maduro.  I do not like sizes over 50. My current favorite is the H. Upmann Chairman's Reserve Robusto. I have smoked Cuban cigars, they are over rated for the price. These days I prefer better quality smokes over a cigar every day or so. I smoke outside or in the garage. I do not like cigarettes.

There you have it, a few things that you may or may not know about the old Hoosierboy. Tell me something about you.

October 28, 2010


A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him,  "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."

She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

An oldie but a goodie.

On being and nothingness...with apologies to Sartre

Here I am, in a usual position these days. I am staring at a blinking cursor on a blank form in Blogger. When  I click "publish post" this will be post 2,861. My first post was on March 22, 2005. I have posted nearly every single day in the more than five and one half years since I started. I will not object if you claim the work here represents quantity over quality.

The point of this post was to say I am sick of politics. I am sick of being Hoosierboy. I am sick of this blog. I am sick of my life.

On the bright side, I will likely delete this posts later. I will find a joke I have to share with you. I will feel an overwhelming need to give you my righteous opinion. Tomorrow I will be here again. Like the cowboys in the movie I never saw -- I cain't quit you.

October 27, 2010

Insert a pithy title

I just got home from a trip to Evansville, IN.  I took US 50 across the hills and forests of Southern Indiana. It was a nice curvy drive. There was not much color left in the trees.  It has been so dry most of the leaves are just turning brown and falling off.  The massive stroms and wind yesterday did not help.

When I got home I discovered there was no paper...again. You see the asshole not only fails to deliver my paper at least once a month, but has taken to throwing it on the street in front of the house the past few days. Wednesday is trash pickup day in my neighborhood.  On trash day the city runs the street cleaner in my neighborhood. I am pretty sure what happened to my paper, assuming it was even delivered.

The newspaper lady explained that you have to call before 9:00 am to report a missing paper if you want one delivered the same day. They will "try" to have today's paper delivered tomorrow. The fishwrap cannot understand why they are losing subscribers.

October 25, 2010

Actual product

I would to be in the marketing meeting when this product was named. They are either marketing geniuses, or complete idiots.

Click to biggerize.

October 24, 2010

Power to the people

Did you know that if Wal-Mart was an independent country it would be China's third or fourth largest trading partner? The amount of products that we buy from China, directly or indirectly is staggering. Many of the products you get from China are not only about to become far more expensive, but harder to get. In the coming weeks you will see fewer choices in clothing and consumer goods.  There will be some empty shelves in the electronics and small appliance sections of your favorite stores.

The old hard-line Communist rulers of China cared little for the opinion of the Western world. Today, China realizes their economic fate is tied to the fortunes of the US and Europe. We need them, but they need us to feed their ever growing economy. Modern China is willing to at least pretend to care about the Western World's opinion on human rights and environmental abuses.

China has been blasted by the environmentalists for years. The pollution around the industrial centers is astounding. The EU and especially the Obama Administration has pushed China hard to adopt carbon emission standards. After all, according to green-weenies, the US, China and India are the cause of Global Warming. India is doing nothing to curb emissions.  The US is spending billions on solar and wind power.  We are subsidizing the electric car. The Obama wants us to turn down our thermostat and raise utility rates to force us to use less energy.

China has addressed the global concerns in a different way. The leaders know they can never afford to change over and modernize the power plants.  While China is looking to use more windpower and hydroelectric power, the power demands for a billion people can not be met while going "green".

China will meet their goals of reducing emissions this year.  How?  They are routinely shutting of the power plants a couple days a week.  The Government tell the consumers in advance they will be without power on designated days.  One or two days a week, the manufacturing plants, stores and homes are without electricity. There is no power at all -- zero, zip, nada. If the plant is not producing power it is not producing evil greenhouse gasses. The Democrats want to tax consumption until emissions are reduced.  China just says there will be no consumption.

The people are affected, the manufacturing plants are affected. Fewer days of production means fewer goods produced for export.  The immutable Law of Supply and Demand means higher prices to the end user -- the shoppers of Wal-mart and Kmart! That, my friends is how a socialist state handles such things. I bet Obama, Waxman and Al Gore are creaming their pants dreaming of such power.

You can bet The Obama is sitting there in the White House, listening to Michelle bitch about how much she hates the place. He is wishing like hell he could shut of the power to those coal states. The ones about to wreck his plans for a socialist utopia. The AlGorites would be all for such a plan. To them, I bet it sounds like a good idea to limit the power on certain days.  It is for our own good.  You know we are just scared, and dumb about such things like science and logic.

One thing is for sure, if the Government were to try such tactics, the "ignorant" masses would be at the gates of the White House with torches and pitchforks. Washington DC would have to become an armed encampment. It is going to take of few more years of indoctrinating our kids to get a population of sheep willing to give up their freedom.

I hope.

October 23, 2010

A Titanic Visit

I had a great day yesterday. We went here. Some of the exhibits were the same as I remembered from visiting the museum 20 years ago when it was downtown.

I really enjoyed the Titanic exhibit. I had no idea tickets on the luxury liner were so expensive. First Class accommodations ran in the neighborhood of $90,000 in today's dollars and Second Class would have set you back the today's equivalent of $45,000.

When you entered the exhibit you were given a "Boarding Pass" to the Titanic. The pass was in the name of an actual passenger and the flip side listed the actual known history of the passenger. At the end of the exhibit (just before you got to the cheesy stuff for sale) you learned your fate.  Did you survive the icy terror of April 14, 1912? I like to think my alter-ego, one Frederick Edward Giles, died a hero giving his seat on a lifeboat to a woman or child.

We had a great time, I enjoyed a much-needed day off work. Good for me. Sucks to be you.

Have a great weekend.

October 22, 2010

It is beautiful day in the neighborhood

The boy is on fall break.  The wife has the day off.  I just took a vacation day too.

No work, no blog, no Friday Five, no nothing.

Have a great day, I will.

October 21, 2010


I am addicted to this sweet artificial banana goodness. I am tempted to get all of my allowed/required carbs through this product.  Dry, with milk, any old way you please, works for me.

October 20, 2010


Can anyone explain why there are handicap parking spaces in the "cell phone" waiting lot at the Indianapolis Airport?

Scratching my head here boss.

Stop me before I tell you it was 15 miles uphill to school

I was a skinny little runt as a kid.  I just did not know it. I fought well above my weight class, and I did it often. I liked to carry my candy cigarettes rolled in the sleeve of my T-Shirt.  Like every other kid in the neighborhood USA,  I pretended to smoke them, squinting my eyes from the imaginary smoke. The best part of breaking off a candy cigarette from the pack was the first moment when you blew on the candy stick and the powdered sugar came off just like real smoke. If I remember, candy cigarettes tasted pretty much like sugar-flavored cardboard. I also liked the bubble gum cigars, until I discovered real cigars.

I am not sure how old I was when we started smoking cigars in the shed out back, maybe eight or nine. That was back in the day when a busy Mom could send her kids to the store down the street to pick up a pack of Salems and a gallon of milk. It was no big deal to use your Coke bottle return money to purchase a pack of Swisher Sweets or Dutch Masters.

This time of year I was probably using my hard-earned dimes to purchase plastic Dracula teeth or paraffin lips.

October 19, 2010

Today's earworm

One of the best bass lines ever.

October 18, 2010

Mucked Up Monday

Greetings.  We find ourselves deep into a Monday. You will not be surprised I have little to report.  I had a great weekend (Freddie -- the answer is no!). I am not sure what I did, but the weekend went by fast.

On the health front I have been exercising daily.  My sugar is good in the evening but still out of control in the morning.  I met with the diabetic nurse/nutritionist this morning. She is happy I am doing well on the carb-counting diet, but somewhat concerned my morning sugars are still out of control. I am a little disappointed too.  I have worked hard at being a good boy, and nothing I do seems to work for my overnight control. It is still a month before I go back to the doctor. Hopefully I can get things better by then. The good news is my blood sugar is now only slightly above average, even with the morning numbers being elevated. The concern is the range of morning numbers, they are up and down. Over all, my sugar is less than 25% of the levels when I was diagnosed.

Now that I am eating more fruits and vegetables I thought for sure I would become more progressive in my political outlook.  I was promised the world would cheer. I guess I need to eat even more broccoli. I still think liberalism is a failed policy and only morons would think the socialist form of government could ever work. Don't worry Dave,  perhaps I could still have a heart attack.  Do not lose hope!

I have been re-reading Tom Sawyer. I loved the book as a boy, and I am enjoying the heck out of it now.

There you have it, a whole post of crap you do not care about. I am back to work.

October 16, 2010

Dear Dan Coates

If you think vowing to strengthen an already shaky Federal Entitlement (Medicare) is the way to woo Hoosier conservative voters, you have not been reading the tea leaves. You and the other "moderate" (Democrat light) Republicans should start paying attention. Too bad our choice for Senate candidate in Indiana is bad and terrible.

BTW -- Dick Lugar you should be looking at vacation property. I suspect the People of Indiana will no longer require your services the next time your office comes for vote.

You Republicans get this one final chance to prove you are the Party of Reagan and not Bush/Rockefeller. If you guys fail the American people like you did from 2000- 2006, you will not be around as a major party by 2016. We are sick and tired of the Washington tax and spend agenda.

October 15, 2010

Can we get a few facts straight?

We are getting hip-deep into election season. No matter which side of the political divide you find yourself, we need to acknowledge one simple fact. We have to stop blaming Republicans for the failure to pass the Democrat agenda. The Republican Party cannot be the "party of NO".  Republicans lacked the votes for more than a year to even filibuster a bill in the Senate.  There was a super majority in the House. The failure to pass Cap and Tax, or more comprehensive healthcare, or immigration or whatever other progressive dream lies completely in the hands of the ruling party.  Remember that Pelosi and company met behind closed doors with Democratic Party leaders and crafted Obamacare. The minority party was not invited.  It is hard to compromise when your input is not required.

So as you head to the polls in a few weeks, keep in mind every time Obama, Pelosi, Reid or your local Democratic Representative or Senator blames his Republican opponent for the failure to get legislation passed, that claim is a falsehood.  Think about that when you go to pull the lever on the voting machine. Do you really want to vote for a fucking liar?

October 14, 2010

Signs you live in "flyover country"

I finally got around to reading the wife's accident report last evening. There were several preprinted boxes at the top of the form to be used by the investigating officer. They included  number of vehicles, number of commercial vehicles, number of pedestrians and the final box is the one that cracked me up -- number of deer.

I am willing to bet that is a check box not seen on many accident report forms in New York City.

House cleaning

I dumped a bunch of links from the sidebar.  Sometimes I get a little click happy. If I deleted you by mistake leave me a comment or shoot me an email.  If you want a link do the same.

These things are not personal.

Friday Covers -- Thursday Edition

Today we are going to look at covers of the Taj Mahal great "She Caught the Katy"

Here is Wet Willie;

Taj with Bonnie Raitt:

And my favorite version from The Blues Brothers and the movie of the same name:

October 13, 2010

Finally, some good news

After weeks months years decades of bad luck, something has finally gone right at the Hoosierboy homestead. Of course, that means something really bad is about to happen.  The giant hand of fate takes great delight in setting me up for a beatdown.

Anyway, you might remember the wife's car was hit on the way to work last week. You can read about it here. The driver had no insurance and the insurance listed for the vehicle (in Indiana the car must be insured, not the driver) was not valid. After a week of calls, our carrier finally found the owner and the correct insurance carrier for the POS 1989 pickup that pulled into the side of my wife's Buick. The vehicle is covered! I am going for estimates today and hopefully we will have her car fixed in the next week or two.

As I said, I am looking over my shoulder.  Something bad is bound to hit.  Fate will not let this piece of good news pass without retaliation.

October 12, 2010

Hey, Hey

This is  picture of the former Jets reporter Jenn Sterger. She is the person Brett Favre allegedly texted and harrassed. I like her. She has many assets, including a Cubs hat.

Explicit pygmy sex photos

This is where normally I would offer mundane descriptions of my boring life. Perhaps I would offer some humor or political insight. Not today.

I could tell you how I have folded a load of white clothes from the dryer. Or how I have done a whole load of towels and folded them and put them away (are you getting hot ladies?).

I could tell you about work or my lunch.

I will not mention that "pygmy sex" is still the #1 search term folks use to get to my blog.

I could write a whole post telling you what I will not write about today...

October 11, 2010


We find ourselves facing yet another Monday.  It is funny how that day seems to keep coming around. I am tired today, I did not sleep well. We spent most of Saturday doing yard work, finally trimming bushes, pulling weeds and plants, generally cleaning up the jungle that is the front flower beds. We did a little more work before the football game yesterday. I still managed to walk 2 miles both Saturday and Sunday morning.  I am not sure if I will get my exercise today.

I am completely unmotivated to work today.  I am in desperate need for a vacation. Like most businesses we are entering 2011 business plan time and days poring over numbers is not fun to me. The never-ending battle of management wanting a high forecast and sales wanting a lower forecast just gets old, especially when I have been paying the financial penalty for higher-up over aggressiveness the past three years. A faltering economy and aggressive business plan does not lend itself to more bucks in my meager bank account.

I have a job, and that is something in today's Democrat-controlled economy.

October 9, 2010


I have to be honest, I have a massive case of "I don't give a crap" today.

Have a great Saturday. I am going for a walk. Sinatra or Supertramp on the old iPod this morning?

October 8, 2010

Friday Covers

The original Hollies version is a great romantic story. It is also the kind of tune that gets stuck in your head.

A version by a band called Sugarplum Fairy, a pretty faithful copy. The band is from Sweden

Oooh oooh that smell, can't you smell that smell

I have a peculiar morning routine. I get up around 6:15 to get the boy up for school. Around 6:50 I go back to bed and wake up the wife.  Some days I go to sleep until around 7:30, most days I do not.

This morning it was a chilly 37 F in the old hometown. I jumped back into bed and nudged the spouse.  I told her it was time to get up.  I snuggled next to her for a moment. I hate to say it, but she smelled like a skunk. I sniffed a bit and thought to myself, "wow". I decided not to say anything.  Just then the boy yelled "Dad, why does it smell like a skunk in here?"

I guess a skunk sprayed something right in front of the house. You could smell it strong in the boy's room (at the front of the house), and less in the living room.  The odor was faint in the bedroom. I guess the wife did not stink after all.

I told her that I was sorry, but I thought the odor was her. She laughed and said she was thinking the same thing (only that it was me); as soon as I came into the bedroom it started to stink!

Anyway, the incident passed quickly. I guess we have a skunk in the neighborhood. That is better than a snake.

October 7, 2010

Calling Tom Jefferson

As if many of us needed a reason to understand the Federal Government has become way too powerful, way too intrusive, on the everyday lives of its citizens, we learn that the Feds are even regulating what font your city and town must use on your local street signs. link

It is bad enough far-away bureaucrats are determining how much you should weigh, what your kids learn and eat in school, what kind of car you should drive and, if Obama has his way, what temperature you set your thermostat. Now they Feds know best what lettering should be on the street sign down on the corner.

Is there anything those fuckers won't try to regulate? No wonder the Tea Party Movement is growing.

Things I observed while travelling this week.

Wisconsin is the Dairy State. I think every dairy farmer in upper Wisconsin was spreading cow manure on his fields Tuesday. Wow, did that place stink.

In a completely unrelated note, my very first sales call was on a customer who made manure spreaders. There is big money in spreading crap.  Any politician in Washington can attest to that.

October 5, 2010

When it rains it pours volume XLVI

The bill to fix the transmission in the boy's car is going to be around $1,600 (see the post earlier in the month).

The wife just called.  She was hit on the way to work this morning. It was the other guy's fault.  He pulled out from a drive right into the side of her car.

He has no insurance.  He is a fucking illegal Mexican. She said they did not arrest him.

Why isn't the criminal in jail and on his way to deportation hearings? Oh wait, they are just good people who want to work. Stephen Colbert told me so.

She is fine. The car is drivable.

October 4, 2010

Things I know Volume XXXVII

The Colts defense sucks.

Management can blame the two turnovers in the red zone all they want, but 28 points against the Jags should win the game.

What coach, even at the middle school level would call a time out with less than a minute to go in the 4th quarter when the other team has the ball?

And why did he try to ice the kicker, when the kick team finally got lined up there was only three seconds left on the play clock.  Why let the kicker gather his thoughts and calm down?

October 3, 2010

Free speech for me, not for thee

This protest sign at yesterdays Socialism Rally in Washington DC says all you need to know about the moonbat left.

h/t Doug Ross

October 2, 2010

Whoopi wants a prize

I read in this morning's insert to the fish wrap where Whoopi Goldberg wants to win a Nobel Prize. What is it about people in the entertainment industry that makes them seek constant acknowledgement.  I guess you have to have a narcissistic bent to become a politician or entertainer.

People in the entertainment industry spend a great deal of time planning and attending award shows. The Critics Choice, The Oscars, The Golden Globes, The Tonys, The Grammys, The World Music Awards, The HipHop Awards, The Best Blond Actress on Tuesday Awards, when does it all end? Country Music Stars seem to have some kind of Gala every other month.

Politicians are just as bad. They are always lining up to get some kind award from the Junior League or Save the Dalmatians Society or the Ted Kennedy Let a Woman Drown  Foundation.

What is wrong with doing good works because you want to? Why not help people because it is the right thing to do? What is it about a certain type of person and the constant need for recognition? Hell, I had my Eagle Scout badge mailed to me. There was no cake, no ceremony.  I knew I had accomplished the rank, so what? I felt the same about graduation from High School and College, but Mom overruled and I attended both ceremonies. Again, I did not get the point.

So if Whoopi wants a Peace Prize, I say give her one.  The award lost any meaning a long time ago.  Obama gets one for being elected, and Arafat gets one for...well I am still not sure what he did, and Carter and AlGore are just a few of the awardees who won because they were politically popular among the Eurolibs. As far as I am concerned, The Peace Prize is like winning Prom Queen, only with a big cash payout. The press release for the Nobel Peace Prize should always read as follows:

Nobel Peace Prize Winner Announced, Seriously, This Is Not a Joke.

I say let Whoopi win.  She has no chance to win a prize in brains, beauty or political astuteness. Hell, given her personality, she could never even win Miss Congeniality. I guess she needs something to feel good about.

October 1, 2010


Best wishes for the happiest of 22nd birthdays to my oldest son (and middle child), Brad.

This is one of my favorite pictures of him.  He was about five in this picture. The scan kind of washed out the lower face features.  He does have a mouth and nose. Here is another to make up for the poor quality.

Check out the PeeWee Herman doll in the background.  That boy loved his PeeWee's Playhouse. Brad is still a musician.  His band is releasing a CD today.
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