June 30, 2022

On this day

 It was a Saturday. I know that. I know the year - 1984.  I know the date - June 30. I was just out of college, barely employed. What money was saved was done by my girlfriend. What furniture we had she bought. I saved my first paychecks for the honeymoon. In just hours we would be married. 

We got married, had a small reception and headed off on our life together. It has been 38 years. A lot of better, a fair share of worse. But the worse was always outside forces — losing jobs, bad financial decisions. 

I’m lucky, I married my best friend. Thirty-eight more years with this girl wouldn’t upset me.

June 29, 2022

Summertime Blues

I know I had a couple of days off last week. I still cannot wait for the long weekend. Weird, right? 

Does anyone really believe Trump climbed from the backseat to try and grab the wheel of the Presidential limo? If you are going to trot stuff out to ensure you get that long-lasting job in the swamp or maybe a book deal, it has to at least be believable. 

I’m a bit tired this morning. A bowl of watermelon for a snack sent me to the bathroom twice in the night. My phone beeped all night long as my Asian and European colleagues emailed me during their work hours. That happens every night. The volume was heavier than usual last night. 

What I really want is a big plate of bacon and eggs (over easy) and some grits. I’d take fried potatoes or hash browns. If you loved me you would fix me some. I guess it is going to be Raisin Bran. 

Since we are in the heart of summer and heading to the great Independence Day weekend, how about an old summertime classic?

Dig those dance moves!

June 28, 2022

You can’t always get...

We all face disappointment. I grabbed a peach after lunch. It was beautiful. I took a bite and it was like biting into an apple. Who wants a green crunchy peach? 

Outraged women are proposing they will not have sex until Roe v. wade is reinstated. 

I guess in that case you won’t need an abortion anyway...

Do these people understand how government works? The Court does not make law. Legislators make law. If they want access to abortion they need to make sure their state enacts laws as such. No one can “reinstate” a vacated court ruling. 

This is indeed how a representative republic works. 

A clean one

After church, Johnny tells his parents he has to go and talk to the minister right away.

They agree, and the pastor greets the family.

“Pastor,” Johnny says,

“I heard you say today that our bodies came from the dust.”

“That’s right, Johnny, I did,” he says.

“And I heard you say that when we die, our bodies go back to dust.”

“Yes, I’m glad you were listening,” the pastor replies.

“Why do you ask?”

“Well you better come over to our house right away and look under my bed, ’cause there’s someone either comin’ or goin’!”


June 27, 2022

Oh, let the sun beat down upon my face

I would like to tell you I had a great and productive weekend. I cannot. Were arraigned things in the youngest granddaughter’s room. I put up a twin bed to replace the toddler bed she was using. I took apart the little bed. We moved the mattress from the guest room and now my office is bed free. I moved around furniture in there too. I need to put the old bed rails into the attic this evening while it is cool today. Ho hum, ho hum. 

Can anyone expand on why there are abortion riots in California? Nothing will change for California. There will be unfettered access to abortion in the Golden State. Why are there “mostly peaceful” riots? What do people in California care if you cannot kill babies in the Bible Belt? 

Speaking of abortion outrage, that genius AOC, the darling of the Democrat party, ranted that the Supreme Court should not determine abortion law. Isn’t that exactly what the Court said? 

June 26, 2022

Red Vines and Coffee


From earlier this week

June 24, 2022

Hacking through the hyperbole

It is probably too late, but before we are awash in opinion on the SCOTUS Roe decision, we should consider the court did not outlaw abortion. It returned the policy and law making to the states and yes, if so determined, even to the federal legislative branch, to make abortion law — whatever it may be. 

This is far better than creating a right or law where non existed. 

Simply put, if The People want access to abortion, they can pass laws as such. The opposite is also true. 

It is far better to let democracy decide such matters, not a handful of black-robed justices. 

Keep and Bear

 The Supreme Court ruled favorably to the right to self-defense.

The governor and mayor of each New York effectively said that they will not comply.

"This overturns 100 years of law".

So did Abolition. Ed Bonderenka

Stolen completely. You should read Ed if you don’t. 


So it was six years ago this month I underwent the first of my cornea transplants. I am thankful every day for the gift from an unknown tissue donor. 

If you are not an organ donor, please consider signing up. You never know how you could change the life of a random Joe.

June 23, 2022

Life on the farm

 A city kid went to his grandpa’s farm for the weekend.

He tagged along as Pa did what had to be done around the place, taking it all in.

Then Grandpa came across a cow having trouble calving.

He didn’t know how the whole process would be taken in by the six-year-old but had no option but to get on with the job of assisting the birth.

When the calf had been ‘pulled’ and the cow was happily cleaning it up, Pa asked the boy if he had any questions about what he had just seen.

At first, the kid seemed overwhelmed by the experience, but finally asked,

“Just how fast was that calf going when it hit the cow’s behind?”

June 22, 2022

Back home again, in Indiana

Cue Jim Neighbors singing the old song no one outside of Hoosierdom has ever heard. We rolled into the drive around 2:30 am this morning. The wife drove to Cullman, AL and I drove the rest of the way home. The driving was split pretty equal. I sure did not want to get up for work when the alarm rang a bit after seven this morning. But I did. 

We had a great mini vacaction. Now I can work for the next eight months or so before we can do it again. 

Gas was ridiculous, and I don’t mind saying we fueled up outside of Louisville to save more than $0.60 a gallon over Indiana’s high gas taxes. Our gas is going up at least another nickel a gallon next week as the gas tax goes even higher. The perfidious politicians tied the tax to the price of oil and inflation, so we are hit extra hard every time prices rise.*  The higher the price at the pump, the higher the tax. Bidenflation really is a regressive tax. Where are the Occupiers protesting this administration? 

We are home safe, happy and broke. Life is good.

*Theoretically, the tax would go down should the price of gas fall.

June 21, 2022

Life Rule #4

You can never be in a bad mood when there are palm trees around.

June 20, 2022

My life is a Jimmy Buffet song

I’ve a bit of sunburn on my big white whale belly. There is also a hint of red in the usual places for me: the tops of my feet and around my knees. It isn’t severe, slight discomfort might be the best description. The red will turn to tan in a few days. 

I am already anticipating and dreading the end of vacation tomorrow. I like the beach, yet a few days is plenty of sand and sun. I never get tired of loafing and reading though. I do get very tired of hotel rooms. 

I suppose that last sentiment is a function of my job. I guess a five dollar hooker has spent more nights in a hotel room, but I’ve done enough to find it monotonous and dreary. At one point n my career I spent forty to sixty nights a year in various hotels and motels. In recent years, that average has dropped to twenty or twenty-five. That is still plenty. *  For reference, my hotel night count is at 13 so far this year. 

I’m not complaining. I love my job. I’m just saying my level of excitement in checking into a hotel is probably way different than yours when you go on your vacation or that trip to visit cousin Madge in Bettendorf. 

Anyway one more night then back home. That will be it for traveling vacation this year. So it goes. 

*the average when I was actually doing my traveling salesman gig, not the out-of-work interlude.

June 19, 2022

Winning the important stuff

I like to play the classic card game Free Cell on my iPad. I will occasionally play while watching TV, or when I’m bored. I’m not great at it. It usually takes me a couple of minutes to clear a board and my all -time high score is a shade over 19,000 points. 

Last weekend, it might have been Saturday when the wife was sick, I hit a new personal best win streak of 49 games in a row. For me that is a lot. My previous personal best was twenty-some games. Irritated to finally lose, I started another game and won. Take that computer card game.

I just looked at my stats. I guess I was ticked. I haven’t lost since. At this point my win streak is at 98 games in a row. I’ve won 147 out of the last 148 games. 

Of course I certainly just jinxed everything. 

If I’m going on a winning streak why couldn’t it be the lottery, the HGTV dream house, the horses, a big chunk of new business for the company, or all the nookie I want?  I waste my good luck on a silly computer card game. 

Personal for you

Happy Fathers Day to all you dads out there.

I miss you, Pop.

June 18, 2022

Hanging at John Boy’s Fort

I have to ask, is it a state law in Alabama that drivers aren’t allowed to use cruise control? I’ve never seen a bunch of drivers so unable to control their speed in my life, unless it is the jackasses from Illinois. At least they don’t park in the left line and refuse to move over like Buckeyes tend to do. 

The grandkids are off on vacation with their parents, so the wife has next week off. I had a couple of comp days available for Sunday work and travel, so we packed the car and motored off late last night to the beach, where I secured a room using hotel points for a few nights. It is a wife’s birthday/fathers day/anniversary trip combined. We have a parking lot view, but so it goes. I don’t intend to spend my time in the hotel room anyway. I got the whole stay for fewer points than one night of sea view with a balcony. 

This is the view poolside. It is good enough for me. 

I slept a few hours last evening while the wife packed. I then drove straight through while she snored in the car. We road trip well together and both enjoy long car trips. We’re here. We made it safe. I’ll send you a post card if I can find a stamp. 

June 16, 2022

This time it is the NSFW joke I promised

 An old one:

Two deaf people get married.

During 1st week of marriage they found they are unable to communicate in bedroom with the lights out as they can’t see each other signing.

After several nights of fumbling and misunderstanding they finally came up with a solution.

The wife said, ” Why don’t we agree on simple signs for instance if you want to have  sex with me squeeze my left breast once. If you don’t want to have sex squeeze my right breast once.

The husband said ok, then asked her if she want to have sex pull his mickey once and if she doesn’t want to have sex pull his mickey two hundred and fifty times.

June 15, 2022

Probably NSFW

It is hot here too. It is often like that in the summer. Since it rained most of the weekend and Monday, the grass needs cutting. I was unwilling to go out in 95F heat yesterday evening to do the work. Besides, the granddaughter had a swim meet. It was hot enough poolside. In fact, it was a little cruel watching others get to swim in the water. It was not recreational splashing though. It was work. A length of the pool is a long way for a seven year-old to butterfly. Ha, it is a long way for a sixty year-old to butterfly! Maybe I can get to the mowing after supper this evening. 

In other news...yeah. I have conference calls every morning this week. On-going discussions with customers on price increases continue. One customer in particular is very resistant. I have used every phrase available in my vocabulary to say “It ain’t optional Pal” without actually saying it. This afternoon will mark the fourth discussion with this recalcitrant customer. In response to “justification” in my conversation yesterday I finally asked in desperation, “have you been to the grocery, have you seen the price at the pump?”. We have reached to point where I tell them today they must take the adjustment or we quit shipping July 1st. Whilst that position doesn’t burn bridges, it sure leaves some smoke stains on the footings. Oh well, this isn’t my first time handing out price increases. Nor will it be the last. 

My coffee is getting cold and I’m running out of boring nonsense to write. Have a great hump day. 

Oh, I was going to post a joke. Instead I posted a joke of a post.

June 12, 2022

Sunday Question

Is there a better war movie than Zulu?

The Contest

They were all there, the toughest of the tough. Bruce Lee from Enter The Dragon fell in the early rounds. Fists of fury are no match for the guns of The a Man With No Name. John Wick held his own, while Aquaman was a fish out of water. Batman and his gadgets fell apart under the relentless pursuit of the Terminator. Thor hammered the Hulk. Captain America and Wonder Woman were disqualified from the melee when they slipped of for a quickie. Danaerys and her dragons seemed a sure thing for a while, but how do you compete against a man who is faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound? Luke, he didn’t even fight. He took his light saber and went home.

June 11, 2022

Things that bug me

Why doesn’t Chewy get a medal at the end of the original Star Wars? 

I suspect it discrimination against People of Fur.

June 10, 2022

There is no place like home


Comerica Park (Tiger Stadium) just after a quick shower Thursday evening. I had a good trip, but I’m more than happy to be home.

June 9, 2022

Tap, tap, tap

Hello? Is this thing on? Is anybody out there? Mom? Buzz? Bueller? Bueller? Surely it isn’t me, it has to be you.

June 8, 2022

My morning granola

The day dawns bright and sunny here in downtown Detroit. The sports stadiums are in view just a few blocks from my hotel window. 

Today marks my fair, lovely, and oh so patient with me spouse’s Redacted birthday. This isn’t the first time nor probably the last I have been on the road for her big day. 

In other news, Biden sucks. The J6 monkey trial is a joke. Gas costs way too much and the administration seems happy about it. Thanks to each and every one of you who voted for this crap. Every day it looks like mean tweets weren’t so bad after all.

For further topics, please feel free to discuss among yourselves in the nearly always vacant comment section. 

June 7, 2022

I might go for some cake

 It was a practical session in the psychology class.

The professor showed a large cage with a male rat in it:

The rat was in the middle of the cage.

Then, the professor put a piece of cake on one side and put a female rat on the other side.

The male rat ran towards the cake and ate it.

Then, the professor changed the cake and replaced it with some bread.

The male rat again ran towards the bread.

This experiment went on with the professor changing the food every time.

And, every time, the male rat ran towards the food item and never towards the female rat.

Professor asked the students.

“This experiment shows that food is the greatest strength and attraction, do you agree?”

Then, one of the students from the back rows said.

“Sir, why don’t you change the female rat? This one might be his wife!”

The professor stood straight up, his finger pointing towards the student and said….

“You just got an A”.

June 6, 2022

The longest day

 I originally published this on June 6, 2005. It is still appropriate.

Monday, June 06, 2005
"The most difficult and complicated operation ever to take place" 
The above quote is by Winston Churchill. Joseph Stalin said 
"The history of war does not know of an undertaking comparable to it for breadth of conception, grandeur of scale, and mastery of execution."

June 6, 1944. Not many under the age of 40, or maybe even 60, know the importance of this date. D-Day. The assault on Normandy, an operation that has never been equaled in the anals of history. The landing location was kept a secret, the Hun was stunned to the very core. Yet it was a close thing. Read the fine history of D-Day by Stephen Ambrose. Did you think Private Ryan was graphic? Read the words of the men at Utah, Gold, Juno, and Omaha beaches.

Nearly 175,000 Canadians, British, and Americans landed on D-day, at a cost of more than 10,000 casualties. We do not know for sure. It was only after several days of fighting that role calls were made, paperwork completed. Over 6,600 Americans were casualties, over 2,000 of those were on Omaha Beach and 2,500 were from the Airborne troops. These men sacrificed to save the world from the likes of Hitler. They freed Europe and saved France from its own traitorous Vichy Government. 

"As the first men jumped, they crumpled and flopped into the water. Then order was lost. It seemed to the men that the only way to get ashore was to dive head first in and swim clear of the fire that was striking the boats. But, as they hit the water, their heavy equipment dragged them down and soon they were struggling to keep afloat. Some were hit in the water and wounded. Some drowned then and there... But some moved safely through the bullet fire to the sand and then, finding they could not hold there, went back in to the water and used it as cover, only their heads sticking out. Those who survived kept moving with the tide, sheltering at times behind underwater obstacles and in this way they finally made their landings.

Within ten minutes of the ramps being lowered, Company A had become inert, leaderless and almost incapable of action. Every officer and Sergeant had been killed or wounded... It had become a struggle for survival and rescue. The men in the water pushed wounded men ashore, and those who had reached the sands crawled back into the water pulling others to land to save them from drowning, in many cases only to see the rescued men wounded again or to be hit themselves. Within twenty minutes of striking the beach Company A had ceased to be an assault company and had become a forlorn little rescue party bent upon survival and the saving of lives." 

Official Unit Report, Company A, 116th Infantry, 29th Division. 

On the backs of these men and the rest of the "Greatest Generation" that we owe our freedom today. Thank God for them in your payers tonight.


I notice the mass murder at the hospital in Tulsa has disappeared from the news already. 

I wonder why?

I know, it doesn’t fit the narrative.

June 5, 2022

Channeling the Stoic within

I’m set to motor off to the motor city in my motor car today for a week of trade show torture fun. Don’t tell my boss, but it is my firm belief no one ever gained new business from a trade show. Mostly you show off for the other attendees. People come to the show for the free stuff. Look for the busiest booth, invariably they are giving away the best merchandise. Besides, there is some sort of tear in the space-time continuum in a convention center where time only moves at half normal speed. What normally would be an hour is only less than thirty minutes. And this trade show is about automation, so my company has a vested interest, but it is only tangentially related to my customer base. Yes, I’m excited. Why do you ask? 

To top it off, my right foot feels like someone stabbed it in the arch with a hot poker this morning; the usual reaction after I mow the yard on the previous day. Normally, this would pass by resting. Instead I get to go stand on hard concrete for a week in dress shoes. Despite my crybaby antics, I will be fine. 

All this angst and complaining may be in vain. The wife woke yesterday feeling poorly. Heaviness in her chest, cough, and fever are making her feel miserable. All are signs of the dreaded Covid. She slept most of the day yesterday. She took an at-home test that was negative, but she will go for a more semi-accurate test at the clinic today. 

So the end result is all of my complaints may be for naught. If the wife is infected, I can’t go off spreading her germs like a modern Typhoid Mary throughout greater Southeast Michigan. I know, you might be sitting in your chair, but you are only perched on the edge of it as you await the outcome of this riveting story. 

June 4, 2022

Nap time

That didn’t go as planned. Sleep, that is. I woke somewhat after three and never did go back to sleep. I watched the latest episode of Obi Wan Kenobi, then a couple of episodes of the old Laugh In TV show. Nothing too thrilling for sure. 

That’s it. How about some music? 

Here is for you Glasslass, from one of my favorite movies by the King:

All you have to do is ask. 

I almost tossed up something from Blue Hawaii. Parts of that movie were filmed at the Hilton Hawaii Village, and Elvis stayed there while he made the movie. By coincidence, the wife and I stayed there when we visited Hawaii for our thirtieth anniversary in 2014. 

Maybe next week. 

June 3, 2022

I guess I have too much Pride

I gotta be honest, I’m about rainbowed out. 

A day? Sure, why not?

A week? Ok, I guess.

A month? Give me a break.

We only get one day to honor our nation’s war dead. 

One day to celebrate America’s birthday.

One day for thanksgiving. 

Black History only gets 28 days.

Do we need thirty days to celebrate whatever people choose to do in their private life? 

I suspect this post will run afoul of the Google community standards too, although I defy you to find anything hateful in the prose.

June 2, 2022

I take full responsibility

I was awake around four aye em.  I don’t  know why. I do, but nighttime bathroom runs are nothing new. The inability to go back to sleep is not so common anymore. I blame the wife. Her CPAP sounded like a jet engine for some reason. As I lie there, a perfectly acceptable post composed itself in my head along with two emails for work and that spreadsheet I have tried to construct for three days. Finally, my brain tired, I dozed with some weird-assed dreams until the wife’s alarm woke me. 

And it’s gone. The one perfectly composed email is still rattling around my skull. The rest disappeared into the dark recesses of my brain waiting to be lured out with cheese or JuJubees. Even then I suspect the post idea will be like a recalcitrant three year old hiding behind the recliner: “no, no I will not come our”. 

I think the post slipped off with that short story I thought of back in ‘05. I guess they are already on a drunken spree, throwing beer bottles at mailboxes while racing up country roads heading towards Chicago in a ‘72 Torino.  I suspect The Rolling Stones’ Missing You is playing at high volume and the windows are down. Faded memories do not care what gas costs these days. Oh no, I think they just spilled Cheetos all over the front seat. Ehew, is that a beef jerky fart? 

This is my fault. I should have just gotten up and written the post when it popped in my head instead of going back to sleep. 

June 1, 2022

Lifesavers Under my Umbrella

I am so bored with the old blog. I am certain you are too. I could complain about gas pushing $5 a gallon, but what is the point? The same people who told us how dumb GW was turn a blind eye as this administration stumble bumbles through crisis of mostly their own creation aided and abetted by a biased and willing press. 

Non sequitur warning. I may have mentioned it before, once upon a time I was a librarian. Yes, and let me tell you, a librarian convention is not nearly as fun and exciting as you might imagine. Every time a new magazine came in to the library it would have to be prepared: seams taped and reinforced, pocket put in for the borrower card, etc.. One clerk refused to process the Playboy. For some reason I was always given the job. I spent two days a week at the main library. The other three days I ran my own tiny little branch library out in a small town of a couple thousand residents in the county. We didn’t carry Playboy at the branch. I spent two long years working for just over minimum wage there in redacted. We did have Choose Your Own Adventure books for the kids.

Ok, in that spirit, it is choose your adventure time here at FiI. Do you want a music selection to round out this poor excuse for entertainment or a joke? You choose one or the other, but not both. The video is next. The dirty joke is below the fold. Let me know which you chose.

Consider everything here that is of original content copyrighted as of March 2005
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