Some people are offended by chalk on the sidewalk. Others go crazy if a white dude wears hair braids. Others are offended by gays, non-gays, wannabe gays, or dudes dressing like chicks to get a cheap thrill in the ladies room. People are offended that people are offended when men shouting "Allah Akbar" start shooting up breakrooms, parties, and art shows. Some are offended that people eat pork, others are offended that a person offers a quick prayer before a meal. Everyone seems to have their tightly-whiteys pulled tight up their ass crack over something these days.
Yet no one is writing, shouting, or trying to criminalize the most offensive thing in our modern society. Yes, faithful readers, I'm talking about perfume and cologne. There is, until the coming change in weather (warmer/colder/wetter/drier/fires/ice/storms/drought) plenty of soap and water. Try a shower. You don't need to bathe in man-perfume. You may like it, but most of us think you smell like a Parisian whorehouse, and not in a good way.
Just this morning, I was deep undercover in the hinterlands of eastern Cheeseheadistan, choking down my Hampton Inn powdered eggs and watery oatmeal, when a dude plopped down at a table a few feet away. The wave of odoriferous scent slapped me in the face. It was as if Channel 3,5,7,and 9 tagged teamed with a musk ox to roll in the shattered detritus of a flower shop. Man, was it offensive.
And how about the women who find the need to surround themselves with a Pepe le Pew-like cloud of fragrance just to buy bananas and hamburger down at the local Kroger?
I find the whole overbearing fragrance issue so troubling I think I'm gonna put on a white robe and go down to the university and chalk up some slogans on the sidewalk.