Man, I can't believe it is Monday already. I'm not sure where the weekend went. I'm not even sure what I did. I know your Monday morning is not complete without an account of my exciting adventures, but you will not be able to live vicariously through me today.
It appears we got a layer of snow overnight. It is still falling. The lady on the radio says we will get three or four inches today. How ironic REDACTED on MLK Day.
Oh, relax. It is just a joke. To quote Robert Plant: "Does anybody remember laughter?".
Where was I? All of your enraged outrage threw me off.
I would appreciate it if you kept your protests electronic. There is not much parking here in the cul-de-sac, and that is filled with plowed up snow right now. Plus it is cold. And it is snowing. Besides, there is no public transportation out here in the 'burbs, and if there were, it wouldn't be running because it is a holiday. If you do decide to march around carrying signs in my front yard I would watch you through the window while sipping coffee. Hey, could you pick up those sticks that have broken from the tree while you are out there? Tuesday is trash day. Be a lamb and pull my bin out to the curb, OK? You might as well shovel the walk since you are traipsing around anyway. There is no point wading the snow and ruining your shoes.
Look, what if I apologized? Could I go down and get some coffee? I do not like being held hostage on my iPad.
You know, this is kinda like a SNL skit, I'm not sure how to end it.
Have a great Monday and holiday.
Edit: My wife says that joke is totally unacceptable. Would the 12 people (according to my logs) who actually saw it please erase it from your memory? Bleach it away like Hillary and her emails.
I am Sorry.
Love means never having to say your sorry.
That is horsechockey, you know. Do not adopt that attitude if you are entering into a relationship.
Now get off my lawn.
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