May 18, 2005

On Bratwurst and Birds

One of the few things I like about Europe is that almost every restaurant has facilities for dining and drinking outside. This makes for some interesting experiences. Once, while imbibing more than a few great German brews and various 'wurst in a biergarten in the fine University town of Wurtzburg, Germany I had occasion to laugh until beer spurted from my nose.

We were smoking fine Cubans and having a great time when we noticed the couple at the next table. She was blond and big breasted, the best the Aryan Race could offer. He was a stout burgher, the stereotypical Bavarian, heavy jowled and rotund. We could only guess that Deutchmarks got the chicks, and life really was universal. Did I mention the young woman was beautiful (with big breasts)? As he was enjoying his platter of bratwurst he suddenly let out a yelp and began clawing at his head. She jumped to his side and began rubbing frantically in his hair with a paper napkin. My German friend translated the nearly hysterical grunts. It seems a bird shit all over The fat German's head. Given the amount of white sticky liquid all over his hair and face, it was a large bird at that.

There is cosmic justice. Do not tell me there is no god.

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