The Rules

My Dad forwarded this to me in an Email. I do not think I have posted them before:


RULES TO ENTER INDIANA

Applies to each person as they enter Indiana.
Learn & remember: East Coast and California-types pay particular attention!

1. Pull up your droopy pants. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup
truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust
on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They are cattle, hog, chicken and turkey farms. That's what they smell
like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-69 and
I-65 run North and South, I-64 and I-70 run East and West. Pick one.

4. So you have a $50,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 combines that
are driven only 6 weeks a year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to
understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a herd of deer is coming in, we WILL shoot
it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the
time.

7. Yeah, we eat catfish & bluegill. You really want sushi & caviar? It's
available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
holiday and a good excuse to take off of work.

9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

10. Yes, there are "vegetarian specials" on the menu. We're not in the stone
age! Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & bacon.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables,
and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over
ice.You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot,
drive a truck, and have long hair.

13. College and High School Basketball is as law here. It is more important
here than the Lakers and the Knicks, and a sight more fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks
the fish.

15. Colleges? University of Indiana, Purdue, Notre Dame and Ball State. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at
passing pickups when they come for the holidays.

16. Indiana is the crossroad of America. If you're from the East or West
coast, you're more than welcome to stop and visit a while, but leave your
liberal ideas at the state line. You will soon find out that Hoosiers are a
hard working, God-fearing people and we sure don't need advice on how to live
our lives.