While standing in line at the local supermarket I noticed a rather dishy blonde behind me who raised her hand and smiled hello. I was rather taken back that such a looker would be waving to me. Although she looked familiar, I could not place where I might know her from, so I asked, "Sorry, do you know me?"
She replied, "I may be mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children."
Shocked by the statement, my mind shoots back to the one and only time I have been unfaithful. "Holy crap," I said, "Are you that stripper from my bachelor party - the one I screwed on the pool table in front of all my buddies while your girlfriend whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my behind?"
"No," she replied, "I'm your son's English Teacher."