September 18, 2006

If I were king

When the world recognizes my true genius and names me King of the Earth, there will be a few changes. Lawyers, Democrats, Commies, Ragheads, do not get too comfortable while I deal with other issues. First off, certain bloggers are way ahead of the curve decorating for holidays. There should be a hard and fast rule that you may not decorate prior than one month before a Holiday. One does not put up Christmas decorations prior to Thanksgiving, for instance.

As Supreme Ruler, Halloween will be the first "holiday" stricken from the calendar. The reason has nothing to do with paganism or any other such nonsense, but rather I hate the day. What a valuable life lesson to teach your little children -- begging and looting. Give me ransom or I will destroy your property. If you dress up you have the right to demand valuables. No wonder armed robbery is on the rise! Besides, if I want to spend a couple of sawbucks on candy, I should get to eat it!

The next holiday to get the axe will be Martin Luther King Day. I hear the screams now -- HB you racist bastard. NO, it is just of all the great Americans can we honestly say the MLK did enough to warrant that he is the ONLY individual with a holiday in his name? Give me back a holiday for Washington, Lincoln and one for Reagan and I have no issue with MLK Day.

Let the hate begin.

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