I'm a man...

...so sang the Spencer Davis Group. What makes a man a man? I do know what makes me tick. Here are 11 facts about my thought processes,what I believe. This is what makes me, ME:

I believe:

1. Farts are funny. There is no discussion on this.

2. There is humor in the pain, embarrassment and agony of others. I like the Three Stooges, videos of guys getting racked and excruciating sports plays. I am not alone here, look at the popularity of Jackass, sports blooper shows and Youtube.

3. I like war movies, westerns, and comedies.

4. The Constitution guarantees us equal opportunity, not equal success. If you cannot see the difference, you education is lacking. If you believe it states otherwise, you are a socialist, a communist. I believe every law should pass this litmus test. Does it guarantee equal opportunity (and NO MORE). If it helps guarantee equal success, it is bad.

5. Progress can not be stopped, only diverted. I used this line in an earlier post and the more I think of it the more I am confident it is true. If we do not embrace the future, if we do not strive for success every day, we will lose the race to others who are not afraid of change. It may sound strange coming from a staunch conservative, a devotee of history, but change is good.

6. Education is a lifelong process.

7. Anyone who believes the Second Amendment applies to militias is a complete moron who is ignorant of the BOTH English language and the historical antecedents of the Constitution. In the same vein, the Constitution does not guarantee a separation of Church and State.

8. It is your obligation as a man, a person, and a human to defend and protect the weak and those who cannot defend themselves. Evil exists, it is our duty to fight against evil at every turn. Killings in the name of God are murder, and evil. If you support terrorists you are a terrorist. There is no compromise on this. Those who give money and support to Hamas you fit this category. Ditto the PLO, etc.

9. I am blessed to live in the greatest nation ever devised. We citizens of the United States are blessed with liberty, wealth, and freedon unheard of in an society in the history of man. If you believe we are the terrorists, we are the evil, you lack a knowledge of history and an understanding of the world. Travel, read, listen and educate yourself. If you still feel that way: Move. You are not advancing society. Are we perfect?: no, but show me a society that offers more opportunity for success, more freedom, more kindness and tolerance.

10. There is no greater pain, humiliation, confusion, failure, and wonderment than in being a parent. Most days I have no clue what I am doing, yet somehow I have three wonderful kids. I would not trade my children for anything, and I would give my life over to the worst pain and suffering imaginable to make them happy, to protect them, to ensure their success. I can not imagine life without any of them. Parenting is by far the hardest and most rewarding job I have held.

11. Try and find some humor and fun in life. Often we forget this. Smoke a cigar, eat some Spam, drink a beer, tell a joke, have some sex. Politics might get us down, we may be flabbergasted and amazed people buy into the global warming hysterics, that Bush McHaliburton chimpy did this or that. We may hate the Clintons and their hypocrisy. We may believe Republicans are heartless. No matter what we believe, life is good in these United States. Enjoy life.

What do you believe?