August 29, 2007
I drank a couple cups of java this morning before I left on my trip. About an hour into the drive I had the need to relieve myself so I stopped off at a rest stop. While standing at the urinal I felt the need to pass wind, but stopped myself just in time -- a little old turd was playing whack-a-mole with my sphincter. I went to a stall, wiped the seat and did my business. While I was sitting there listening to the music in my head, I began to tap my toes to that little ditty "I Am Sixteen" from the Sound of Music. I love that song. Next thing I know the guy next to me is tapping his toes with me, only he has stuck the end of his black, tasseled loafer under my side! Then he reaches under the partition and gives me the come hither finger wave. Holy shit what is going on. He then slips me a business card with the US Government seal and tells me if I let him in he will do unspeakable acts to my private parts. I got the heck out of there fast, his last words lingering in my ears -- "Hey, I ain't no queer..."