May 19, 2008

Bad things

Here is a list of bad things that can happen to a marginally good person with a torn muscle in his lower back:

Springtime allergies (sneezes) This is the #1 bad thing -- ever
Burritos (draw your own conclusions)
alarm clocks going off after the first good night of sleep in four days
slamming doors
funny movies and TV shows

Here are some I have not experienced but would be also very painful:

snakes in the living room
roller coaster rides
scary movies
getting goosed
getting snuck up on (is that even proper English?)and hearing Boo!
riding a tilt-a-whirl
eating sweet potatoes. They will not hurt my back, I just hate them.
entering a sack race
bobbing for apples
going to the batting cage
acrobatics class
riding a four wheeler in rough terrain
water skiing
alligators in the tub
jumping rope
practicing as a lineman with the Indianapolis Colts
running a marathon
trying to see if I can duplicate the positions from the Kama Sutra
pulling weeds
throwing ice cubes at the fucking doves sitting on my roof (not that I would do that)
picking cotton
toe touches
flamenco dancing
fire walking
waxing the car
playing Jai Alai

No comments:

Consider everything here that is of original content copyrighted as of March 2005