March 13, 2009

Very Superstitious

Hello Sportsfans, welcome to another Friday the Thirteenth. Some believe this date portends bad luck. Fridays have been considered bad luck for centuries. Did you know the British Navy would not set out on a voyage on a Friday? When coupled with the number 13, superstitious people everywhere are wary on this date.

For those of us who have been repeatedly kicked in the crotch throughout our lives by fate, bad luck is a way of life. This date is just another day on the calendar. Put it this way, if I were to find a $50 bill on the sidewalk, not only would it turn out to be counterfeit, but I would be prosecuted when I tried to spend it! So I do not believe in luck. Bad things happen to us all and if you focus on the negative, that is what you reap. Anyone who has read this pitiful excuse for a blog any length of time knows I am not a roses and lollipops kind of person. I like to think of myself as a realist who considers the up and downside of everything. If you plan on things going wrong, then you are never surprised when they do and you have prepared for the worst.

Walk under that ladder. Look up to make sure nothing or no one is falling from the top. Break a mirror and then sweep up well, so you do not risk infection from stepping on a shard of glass in the future. Step on a crack, your Mom could use some time away from you anyway. Some people believe if you say goodbye to someone on a bridge you will never see that person again. This is only true if you push them off.

Some people believe it is bad luck to light three cigarettes from the same match. First off, if you are smoking three fags at once you have more issues than bad luck. Second, everyone knows that by the time you light the third cigarette, the sniper has you scoped in and you run of bad luck is about to end.

It is said that if you drop a comb while you are combing your hair is a sign of a coming disappointment. The chick at the haircut place dropped the comb three times while cutting my hair last time. I was disappointed in my haircut. And did you know some folks of a superstitious bent believe cows lifting their tails is a sure sign that rain is coming? You call it rain, I call it a cow patty. Whatever.

I have heard people say that it's bad luck to leave a house through a different door than the one used to come into it. It is harder to find you car if you do that.

Fishermen have their own set of superstitions. Throw back the first fish you catch then you'll be lucky the whole day fishing. Or you might go hungry. I wouldn't toss back the first one until I caught the second one. If you count the number of fish you caught, you will catch no more that day. Sure, if you catch "one". It's bad luck to say the word "pig" while fishing at sea. I say it is bad luck to say the word "pig" when you are in bed with your lady or man.

We all have superstitions. Some, like mine, make sense. I will not wear a stripped shirt to take a test. This order must be maintained -- left sock, left shoe, right sock right shoe. Never close your eyes at night if the clock reads a pattern (1:23, 2:46) or is on a five (11:00, 10:05, 2:20). These simple rules of life make perfect sense and should be followed by everyone. The idea that the dried body of a frog worn in a silk bag around the neck averts epilepsy and other fits or that a day on the calender is unlucky -- that is just crazy.

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