May 18, 2009

I have won an award.

I have won an award, sort of. This not-so-humble host has written a post that these esteemed writers deem the dumbest thing they have read in May! Read their critique here.

What post did they hate so much, why the one where I called out Nancy Pelosi as a liar. HERE. Apparently I did not include enough details or fill out the post to their satisfaction. My post must have really stunk, because I got the award for May when the month was not even half over!

So who are these arbiters of taste that cruise the Internet offering their insight? You remember them, the guys who were not sure if my post about creating a dandelion preserve was a gag. I better insert a link here, I do not want them mad at me again. LINK. They have also gone after a random guy's baseball blog. And as far as I can tell, their real aim in life is to act all superior.

In the interest of fairness, we should look at their content to make sure they have no frivolous posts. Is their blog hard-hitting and full of insightful commentary? Here are a few of their worthy subjects in recent weeks:

A story about a man arrested for driving like a woman. Quick to brand everyone who does not agree with them as a homophobe, this sexist article is filled with analysis and journalistic follow-up. I guess I just missed it.

They next make fun of a man who wrote about the issue of the word Gay as a euphemism for homosexuality, as it was the guy's surname. HERE Maybe it is just me but these guys seem a little obsessed with homosexuality.

Next they go after Cary Prejean the Miss California who had the audacity to exercise free speech! HERE Weird, but the gays are in this article too! Anyway why are people who disagree with liberals closed-minded, but liberals who do not see the conservative viewpoint are not? Here is the closing paragraph from these open-minded fellows:

Punishing hate speech should absolutely happen in America (FU PC). We’re exercising our constitutional right to free speech by calling you names that you deserve to be called. We’re sure your grandfather would be proud of us. Oh, and nice grammar, too. Of course, this woman believes in Satan, so, like, talkin’ good isn’t exactly a priority.

They go on to call her a cunt. And you know, if you believe in Heaven or Hell you must be an uneducated mouth breather. Their tolerance astounds me. I can hardly wait until these guys get to decide what is hate speech.

Really, reading their tripe is wearing me down. These guys are hate everything. Bibles, Republicans, Ron Artest, fat people, Jews, people who comment on baseball blogs, Hoosiers, the Alabama Legislature, the person who had a face implant, Sarah Palin, Clarence Thomas, WHAM Channel 13, The religious right, A-Rod,Governor Charlie Crist (whom they insist is gay -- again the obsession), Florida, Republicans (gay Republicans again)... basically they hate everyone.

You know these guys. In high school everyone hated them. They never got invited to the parties and had no friends. They pretended to be intellectuals, but they did not really have the brains to carry it off. They sat by themselves and made fun of everyone, used sarcasm as a crutch to hide their insecurities and little wieners, never realizing they were the joke in the end. The teachers thought they were suck-ups. These losers thought they were cool because they wore Che T-shirts and berets. They wrote hard-hitting articles about the lack of nutrition in the cafeteria for the school newspaper and edited the yearbook. They could only take pictures of the atheletes and matheletes because they were incapable of competing at either. They thought they were radical and different, but they were conforming to a loser's code decades old.

Or maybe they were the circus freaks with the black lipstick and pointy hair hanging out at the mall.

Relax dudes. It is opinion. Agree or don't. Read or don't. Being so angry all the time is going to give you an ulcer.

I fart in your general direction.

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