May 7, 2010

A very special post for you

Dear person in the car in front of me at the drive-through ATM this morning,

It is a drive-through ATM. There is no need to park and walk up to the machine. I know your window works, because you had it down. The reason you had to bend over to use the machine was because it was designed to be seen from inside a vehicle.

More importantly, if you are over the age of 12, and the controls and intricacies of operating an ATM leave you flummoxed and confused, you have no business handling money. If it takes you nearly SEVEN FUCKING MINUTES to make a withdrawl, you should step away from the confusing machine and re-evaluate your life.

You are a waste of valuable oxygen. You are clearly dumber than a brick. How do you operate your car? Do you need help with the toaster too? Is your name Josh or maybe Dave? Are you angry no operator's manual came with your last purchase of Charmin? Do you need a recipe to prepare cereal? I bet you are a Hopey Changey Obama man through and through.

Go home, find a suitable firearm, and disconnect your very tiny brain.

Your Friend,



Anonymous said...

If it was a Pink Prius good chance it was Josh and Dave.

James Old Guy

Rita said...

Unfortunately there is no IQ test for opening up a bank account.

A few years back, one of the mortgage guys got a call from a guy who wanted to apply for a home equity loan. After several minutes, the loan officer got down to the question, "How long have you owned your home?" He was a RENTER. The bank probably ended up in trouble with Fannie Mae later for rejecting his application.

Oh, and I have another example.

One customer explained that he couldn't possibly be overdrawn on his checking account because he still had checks in his checkbook.

The list goes on and on.

mts1 said...

And you have the ones who you see repeatedly insert the card. If 1) your balance is too low to make a withdrawal, or 2) the machine is down for maintenance, sticking the card in again and again will not remedy the situation.

There is a term for doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

dick said...

I call those idiots out and ask if they've ever had a quality beating for pissing off somebody with a life.

Works every fucking time. Without fail.

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