I resolved some time ago to let life's little annoyances roll off me like water on a duck's back. You may not see it much on these pages, after all steam needs an outlet, but in everyday life I am a much calmer relaxed person. Unfortunately, I started today irritated.
I taught myself in Jr. High to get up with an alarm. Both parents worked and I needed to get up for school. After the first time I overslept, I put the alarm across the room. Presto, the alarm goes off to this day and I get up.
The wife is a chronic snooze slapper. In the early days of our marriage when I worked afternoons and she mornings it used to piss me off to no end when the alarm went off three or four times. I could never get her to understand that when the alarm goes off I wake up. If I wake up twice in ten minutes, I'm up.
This morning the wife had to get up at 5:45 am (babysitting stuff). So to my disgust,she set her alarm for 5:25. It went off at ten minute intervals until she finally got up at 5:45. She then had the gall to inquire on exiting the shower why I was up already? Mr. Asshole urged me to say words of regret like "rude, selfish, ignorant, bitch, fuck, stupid alarm". I said none of those. I just shrugged and sipped my coffee. You would think my tongue would be scarred after thirty plus years of biting it.
4 comments:
My wife does not understand that modern technology dishwashers do not take dried food off of dishes and silverware unless you use the super-duper, 3-hour cycle that uses a ton of water and a ton of electricity.
And she won't listen to me when I tell her that she MUST scrub the dried crap off of stuff BEFORE she loads it into the dishwasher. Because "I know how to do dishes."
She also insists on paying good money for paper plates to use for lunches and such when we have perfectly good plates that we got for our wedding, ignoring the fact (which I have told her several times) that the energy used and waste water created in the manufacture of such things, not to mention the space they take in landfills when you discard them, far exceeds the cost both fiscal and environmental of just washing the damn dishes a couple of times a week on the "Quick Wash" cycle.
My tongue IS scarred from all the biting of it that I do.
With all due respect to your loved ones, I honestly do not see what one gets from snoozing 10 minutes later, then getting up. I set my alarm exactly to the time I expect to get up (and yes learned years ago that putting the alarm clock across the room IS the way to totally prevent a 90% still asleep turning off of the alarm and sleeping in). I loathe when I wake up to go to the bathroom or to a thunderclap less than an hour before my waking time, for if I return to bed for that short of a time, when I do get up, I'm more groggy than if I stay up and just chuck the 15-30 minutes of sleep I missed.
Two powered appliances I see no use for are 1) electric dishwasher and 2) electric can opener. 1) since like Fuzzy said you need to clean the dishes off before you wash the dishes in the first place (unless you have a dog to lick them clean), you've done 85% of the work already, so soaking them in sudsy water then washing them yourself is nothing. And if you have large or enough bowls, it blocks the water from the flat plates. I never thought a dishwasher was hygienic, even as a kid, seeing some of the half-assed washed stuff that comes out at neighbor's and relative's houses. With modern oxy, orange, and other detergents, it's amazing how the worst baked-on ring comes off with a plastic bristled brush when left to passively soak long enough, no elbow strain needed. 2) Modern manual can openers, with bottle opener tabs and other neat add-ons, are an ergonomic dream, compared to the old p38s and narrow handled openers of the past. Zero hand or finger strain. And you can adjust the speed and angle for those difficult bent cans. Plus, you can stop 1 mm short of fully done, once the lid starts to tilt upward, so you're not fishing the lid out of the mush. Why electric?
Now you see why no woman will marry me. ;)
When you get old, you will understand. If you are old, I congratulate you on avoiding arthritis and on having plenty of time to scrub, wash, and dry dishes and turn manual can openers. I suppose you also hand-wash your clothes down by the creek with a rock, and dry them on the line :-)
A dishwasher actually gets your dishes cleaner because the water is far hotter than you could stand by hand washing.
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