February 2, 2018

Come On Cloud Cover

Today a random rodent will determine the course of our weather for the next month and a half. Since it is unbelievably cold again this morning -- we are talking single digits and subzero windchill -- I think I  can speak for all of my neighbors when I hope for an early spring.

Unfortunately, a quick glance out my office window shows a light blue sky with nary an early morning cloud in sight. It now comes to mind why I shot groundhogs as a youth.

Do you know what you call a dead groundhog in a hole? Phil.

How did a groundhog get to determine our weather anyway?  Why not a chipmunk? Maybe a starling would be a better weather prognosticator. If a goldfish freezes in the birdbath it is still winter. I'm not sure how that predicts spring though. How does global warming climate change "all weather is the fault of anything we hate" (except actual weather patterns) affect groundhogs and shadows? If there is more carbon, plants thrive; thus there is a chance there is more shade; thus an early spring. Is it a self-fulfilling prophesy?

Is it possible a rodent has no effect on the weather? After all, official spring arrives in about a month and a half regardless of what a buck-toothed mammal predicts.

I know this about groundhogs; they make a passable, but greasy and gamey stew. Cooked low and slow the meat is pretty tender. That is what I think of the groundhog today.


Cappy said...

And everything we hate is literally Hitler. Ergo, weather is literally Hitler.

Where my Nobel Prize, beyotch?

Anonymous said...

We hit 68 yesterday, mid 50s today and around 26 tomorrow morning. The long range weather guess shows no more freezing weather for the next 10 days. I am seeing Cardinals back and the squirrels are more active, seems like just another year. When Al Gore dies does global warming go away?

James Old Guy

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