June 22, 2018

I deign to disdain

Friday at last.  My Granddaughter's "week at the grandparents" will be over as soon as she wakes up. We had a great week.

Apparently they are playing a big soccer tournament. I don't care at all. No 'Merican Team is playing. I wouldn't watch even if there was. I am sure there is fresh paint somewhere calling for me to watch it dry. A guy once told me enthusiastically about a "football" game he saw. As near as I can tell the players chased each other for two hours. No points were scored. There was no overtime. Then he told me baseball was boring. I know this, the toy game that is closest to soccer is foosball, and it is far more action-packed.

On the news they said the Peanuts character Pig Pen was playing in the soccer game. I guess there was a translation error, they kept referring to "Messy". I wasn't really paying attention.  And I cannot emphasize this enough -- I don't care. And I started not one, but two sentences in a row with a conjunction. "But Joe, you say... Or is it four!  Score! That's more points than you will see in any three soccer games.

I bet the seventeen year-old next door has scored more in the past year than either team that played yesterday. Ba-boomp. I could do this all day.

There is a reason the Harry Potter characters play the made-up game of quiddich instead of soccer. The author didn't want everyone falling asleep in the middle of her books.

I suspect the yuppie metrosexuals walking around in their soccer jerseys couldn't name five players from their "favorite" team. At least the colors match their shoes. Question -- is there a Fake Madrid? 

Have a great, soccer free weekend. As always, should you disagree with my viewpoint, you may do so in the comments. You will still be wrong, but go ahead anyway. 

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