September 15, 2018

All about the salsa verde

Good morning, fellow 'Muricans and Canadians and Earthlings, if you prefer. We will once again present today's offering in plain old English, so if that is not your preferred language, I can only opine that it sucks to be you. Not from any strong xenophobic passion, but rather that American English is my language of choice. My wit and wisdom is only available in that format.

And because I am only fluent in English. In the Hoosier patois at that.

You Britishers can just get over the spelling. There ain't no "U" in color.

Where was I going before you started griping about language?

Heck if I know.

Yesterday was my favorite daughter's birthday. Yes, I admit it. So what? Sure, she is my only daughter, so it is pretty easy to name her my favorite daughter. We went out for Mexican food to celebrate. I had no need to stretch my limited Spanish vocabulary. It is easy to order tacos.

Unlike certain bands currently playing in the background, I have never been through the desert on a horse with no name.

In my case, it was Scout.

I'm not aware of any important weekend plans. I have to cut the grass. There is a bit of excitement, should you care to live vicariously through my adventures. My eye drops are ready for pick up down at the drug store. I better stop there, I'm not sure you can handle the sheer adrenaline rush of all this seat-of-the-pants thrill ride that is my life. I don't care if you are wearing an official imitation Indiana Jones hat, it is probably just too much to handle.

Does this become more entertaining and worthwhile if you read it out loud?

Go back to the beginning and do it. I need to know.

I can only hope you are sitting at the doctor's office or standing in line at WalMart when you do it.  Even better, I envision you sitting at your favorite dining establishment, waiting on your food, reading this at full voice. Because of course the louder the better. Turn up the volume to eleven, give us some "room-filling energy!", as my speech teacher used to advise the class. Everyone at Chez Patrice, Applebee's, or Arby's wants to hear my words of wisdom. Really.

You better stop reading out loud now. It is creating a feedback loopy-thing, you reading out loud about reading out loud. Sorry it is just weird. What made you think that was a good idea?


dragonlady474 said...

I was in Jurassic/birthday party hell. It got so bad, my daughters and I escaped to Walmart, and left my husband alone to deal with it. LOL

Joe said...

Please tell me you read my blog out loud in the middle of the "seasonable" aisle...

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