September 3, 2019

The cleanest back yard in town

Here in suburbia you pay to have your trash hauled away. I throw my garbage, the baby's diapers, and general trash into a big bin with wheels and the company comes and tips the bins into a garbage truck with a big hydraulic arm. If it isn't in the bin, it does not get picked up.

For several weeks I have been slowly disposing of a 25 year old worn and broken patio set. A chair fits into the bin. So each week I toss in a ripped and worn out chair. That fire pit the previous owners left behind? It is gone. That broken umbrella stand? Yep tossed into the bin.

The table was next in line. I was putting it off. It was a long rectangular glass-topped affair that seated six.  The table was still in good shape, but who wants a patio table with two working chairs?That is how many remain that are not ripped or broken. I know the answer. No one wants a chairless table, even on Craigs List for free.

Yesterday I dragged the table from under the pear trees where I had it stashed for the past year or so. Dismantling it should have been easy, and it was, except for the screws I had to drill out, the braces climate welded together, and the general thirty-seven trips to the garage to get yet another tool that isn't right this time either.

I was finally down to one leg/brace combo. I could then remove the glass and bend up the table top frame. I thought I would break up the glass on a tarp and pour it into the bin. As I pulled the last leg out of the frame, the entire top exploded into shards of glass. The biggest pieces were the size of your littlest fingernail, the smallest were, well, smaller than that. Yes, I should have been working on top of the tarp all along.

So there it was, a million shards of glass in the yard exactly in the shape of the table there in the grass.  How do you clean up glass from your lawn? You put on heavy gloves and start picking it up. It took about ten minutes to clean a three inch square.  So, a 6x3 area will take...carry the one...way too long. I grab the shovel and start scooping. I grab the rake and start piling to make scooping easier. Lots of shards have settled down into the grass.

I look around. My yard is secluded. It is blocked on all sides by a 6 foot privacy fence. Trees block the view of both neighbors if they look from 2nd story windows. I grab the old Shop Vac from the garage and suck those little buggers from the yard.

Yes, I vacuumed my back yard. Sure I sucked up some dirt and grass. I probably got some insects too, but I got every tiny bit of glass I could find. Don't tell anybody I vacuumed my lawn. I worked, there is that.

Still, I don't think I will run around barefoot in that part of the yard.

1 comment:

Practical Parsimony said...

I had a window sized piece of glass leaning against the chicken's fence in an attempt to shield them from the wind. I rushed out in the wind and rain thinking I heard squawking and feared a raccoon. Well, the piece of glass fell over, and I slipped on on the glass, breaking it into a jillion pieced. My chicken were on that like white on rice. I was fighting off chickens, shoving and slapping. Finally, they won and ate all the glass. I did not have time to get the shop vac. By the way, chickens use glass in their craw to digest food. I thought they would die.

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