January 20, 2018

Wherein I do a bunch of complaining

My Internet is slow as heck this morning. I don't know why. I will blame it on the Government shutdown. The real issue is my office is as far from the router as possible. I need to get a mesh system or at least a wifi extender to improve performance.

It looks like I will have a busy weekend. The wife wants to rearrange furniture. And since I'm the one that will have to do it, we outta clean the carpets while we are at it. Don't forget that "we" will have to patch the holes in the drywall since stuff on the walls will have to be moved too. That means painting. Yet she tells me I'm being an ass about "Just moving the couch to the other wall". Yes, that other wall where the sofa was when we first moved here and she didn't like it there. She wants to find room for some shelves/bins for the grandkid's toys because somehow adding more furniture to a crowded room is going to give us more space.

I might have convinced her that cleaning the carpets in the middle of winter when the boy's dog is still running around the house is a waste of time. The boy is planning on moving out in a month or so.

At some point I have to get the Christmas stuff back in the attic. All I ask is for someone to help. If they pass me the boxes it is a lot faster. And easier. Otherwise I have to carry each box, one at a time, up the ladder. That is up and down for each box. 15 boxes means 30 trips on the ladder. The ladder is 8 feet so that is like climbing 30 flights of stairs. I need the exercise, but come on. I have made the boxes smaller and lighter because I'm a weak old man, but that means more boxes that I have to handle.

I know, boo hoo, whaaaa. I've pretty much spent the past few weekends parked on my lazy butt, so I guess a little work won't kill me. I don't have to like ot though. Besides, it gives something to whine about and that is my most favorite activity. I'm good at it.

Enjoy your Saturday.

January 18, 2018

First time for everything

I have had a job since I was 13 years old. I have rarely missed work. I almost never take sick days. In fact, when I had my surgeries in 2016 that was the first sick days I had taken in 3-4 years. I doubt I have missed 10 days of work (outside of my surgeries) in more than 40 years of working.

Today, I took a sick day. It is the first time I have ever, to the best of my knowledge, called in sick when my only illness was a desire not to work.

Yes, I played work hooky today.

Do not rat me out.  I hate snitches.

January 16, 2018

I have been thinking

Thinking. That might be dangerous.

I thought I was done with this subject, but what do you think when the Trumpster says (or didn't say) "shithole"? Me, I think of poor, uneducated, crime ridden and corrupt places.

The color of skin predominant in those places didn't pop into my mind. But then I don't readily go straight to the race card. For me corrupt, poor, uneducated, and crime ridden does not mean dark-skinned. It means uneducated, corrupt, etc. That's all.

Now, it could be I think that way because I'm a white guy steeped in white privilege, whatever that means. Maybe I'm a mere rube, hick, redneck. I'm not good at virtue signaling, I guess.

What I do think, is that a real racist would automatically think I'm talking about people of color when I say shithole, corrupt, uneducated, or crime-prone.

Of course Haiti is a shithole. Calling it so doesn't denigrate a Haitian person based on their skin, it denigrates the circumstances in which they live -- you know corrupt, uneducated, crime ridden, and poor.  In other words, a shithole.

January 15, 2018

Dear Pope

Your...ah, Pontifications...are getting old.

How many migrants did you allow to move into Vatcan City last year? How many Church properties were handed over to the various States to use as migrant housing?

That is what I thought.

STF up already.

Your friend,


Poof! There it goes

Man, I can't believe it is Monday already. I'm not sure where the weekend went. I'm not even sure what I did. I know your Monday morning is not complete without an account of my exciting adventures, but you will not be able to live vicariously through me today.

It appears we got a layer of snow overnight.  It is still falling. The lady on the radio says we will get three or four inches today. How ironic     REDACTED       on MLK Day.

Oh, relax. It is just a joke. To quote Robert Plant: "Does anybody remember laughter?". 

Where was I? All of your enraged outrage threw me off. 

I would appreciate it if you kept your protests electronic. There is not much parking here in the cul-de-sac, and that is filled with plowed up snow right now. Plus it is cold. And it is snowing. Besides, there is no public transportation out here in the 'burbs, and if there were, it wouldn't be running because it is a holiday. If you do decide to march around carrying signs in my front yard I would watch you through the window while sipping coffee. Hey, could you pick up those sticks that have broken from the tree while you are out there? Tuesday is trash day. Be a lamb and pull my bin out to the curb, OK? You might as well shovel the walk since you are traipsing around anyway. There is no point wading the snow and ruining your shoes. 

Look, what if I apologized? Could I go down and get some coffee? I do not like being held hostage on my iPad. 

You know, this is kinda like a SNL skit, I'm not sure how to end it. 

Have a great Monday and holiday.

Edit: My wife says that joke is totally unacceptable. Would the 12 people (according to my logs) who actually saw it please erase it from your memory? Bleach it away like Hillary and her emails. 

I am Sorry. 

Love means never having to say your sorry.

That is horsechockey, you know.  Do not adopt that attitude if you are entering into a relationship. 

Now get off my lawn.

January 13, 2018

Staffing Changes

I got a spam email from a dude the other day who told me how great my blog was. Then he offered to write it for me. I guess his message was "you are good, but I am better". If this drivel was written by someone else, it wouldn't be my blog anymore, would it?

I fully acknowledge that better writing would help the place. It might drive up readership. An editor would be a significant improvement. While we are at it, a template change and pruning of the blogroll would spruce the place up too. A pay raise for the writing and custodial staff would improve morale. Perhaps new iPads and laptops for the research department are in order. How about pretzels and cold beer TGIF parties?

Plush offices in one of those new downtown buildings would be sweet. Right now we are running out of a spare bedroom converted into an office. Perhaps we can get the good coffee for the Keurig instead of the Sam's Club store brand? Better yet, how about an espresso machine?

We need polo shirts and hats and coffee mugs with our logo on them. I guess we also need an art department to design a logo.

If we make those changes the blog would really be something.  Oh wait, blogging died about a decade ago. I'm just holding on through life support and sheer hard-headed stubborness. Never mind.

January 12, 2018

A Rose by any other name

"Lets be outraged" theme of the day is that Trump referred to shithole nations as...shithole nations.  We all know many of you who are now in the throes of vapor swoons over this comment secretly call those Third World shitholes..."shitholes". Your outrage is that Trump said it.

No? How many of you are saving up your cash to take a dream vacation to Haiti or El Salvador or Uganda?

That is what I thought.

If those shitholes are not shitholes, then why do the people from there need refugee status?

More to the point, Why do we give preferential immigration treatment to people from countries where most of the population has no education, no job skills? Those folks are most likely to end up on welfare and cost the taxpayers money when they arrive. It has nothing to do with race, but rather the purpose of immigration. Are we looking to help people out of their misery or to make America a stronger better place for all of us? Is the purpose of immigration to provide cheap labor or should there be a higher purpose?

Your answer to that question will define your level of outrage regarding labeling shitholes as shitholes.

The more things change, the more they are the same

I just cannot muster any outrage over politics these days. The denizens of the swamp and those who feed there, namely the press and lobbyists, are going to fight tooth and nail to make sure outsiders are stripped of power. There is just too much money at stake.

I listened to a lengthy podcast this week about Teddy Roosevelt. It is interesting to trace his political fights. While I do not agree with many of Roosevelt's political positions, TR was similar to Trump in that he was popular with the voters and absolutely loathed by the politicians and Party bosses. The media hated him but he sold papers. TR bucked the system and fought the corruption, lobbyists, and bureaucracy. When he made his comeback bid in 1912 TR won the primaries but the Republican party had a pocketful of delegates that were not tied to the primaries that swayed the convention. Sounds a lot like "super delegates" doesn't it? In truth, the Republicans preferred to lose an election rather than let Roosevelt back in the White House.

Thus we got the despicable Woodrow Wilson.

Roosevelt was unpredictable, eschewed political correctness, impulsive, and straight talking. He upset foreign nations, and was decidedly Pro-American. TR was unconventional in his life and habits. While he spent his life in politics, Roosevelt was not a politician. That was his unforgivable sin.

Some things don't change. Even a century later.

January 11, 2018

I am taking a look forward to touch you

I got the greatest spam comment ever on a throwaway post from 2015:
Amazing things here. I am very satisfied to peer your
post. Thank you so much and I am taking a look forward to touch you.
Will you kindly drop me a e-mail?
I rewarded the spammer by publishing his nonsense.  I am giving like that

Oprah is The Man

Tuesday I made a quick jaunt to Ohio (o-hi-ya). I got home around 5:00. It was cloudy, but moderately warm (40s). The snow had melted from the porch roof so I climbed up and removed the Christmas decorations. I stripped the trees and bushes of their lights and removed the garland from the porch. I de-Christmasified the house.  It is all now piled in the garage until I can put the stuff back in the attic over the weekend. This was the first opportunity due to snow and cold to get outside.

Yesterday I motored up to the Windy City and back. It was annual review time with the boss. I have been at the gig less than a year, but frank discussions on performance and expectations is always welcome. I worked my previous gig for more than 8 years and never had a review. Not one. We all got the same annual percentage raise, janitor to clerk to salesman, no matter if one performed well or poorly. The Man got a two-fer from me yesterday as the work day ended up being just a shade over 17 hours long, if you count the windshield time. The drive passed pleasantly enough listening to the History on Fire podcast.

I wish I had exciting tales from tne road to offer. I took no scenic byways. Traffic was as expected. Other drivers stupidity was held to the minimum. In other words, my journeys were as boring as this post makes them  seem.

It is supposed to be warm for one more day. If the rain holds off I might try to get in a walk. I haven't been able to get out since well before Christmas. Walking on snow-covered streets and sidewalks is a good way to hurt oneself. While I don't mind it being cold, I have no interest in braving subzero winds to tour the neighborhood. I might just bust open the humidor and burn some fragrant tobacco lovingly rolled between the thighs of a Caribbean beauty* during my exercise**. Now that is something to get excited about.

Have a great Thursday.

* leave me alone in my fantasy. Deep down I know it is manufactured by a sweaty crone in an oversized T-Shirt, the pits stained yellow by repeated wear and infrequent washing, stolen from her last boyfriend; a low-level enforcer for the local drug dealer.

** yes there is something self-defeating in smoking a cigar while trying to get some exercise. Look at it this way -- I won't be toting along a beer.
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