September 20, 2017

On the high side

I moseyed down to my doctor's office this morning to have some lab work done in anticipation of my checkup Friday. They drew a couple of vials of blood. Easy Peasy. I already know the results, if not the exact numbers. My blood sugar will be high. Too high. Cake before bed will do that to you. My A-1C will also be too high. Ditto my bad cholesterol, even though it will be within normal guidelines. My good cholesterol will be too low, a direct reflection of my level of exercise lately. I take direct responsibility for my failures in diet and exercise.

I'm also going to chow on leftover beef and noodles over mashed spuds for lunch. Bad, bad, bad. It is also my favorite meal in the world. I will do better tomorrow. Honest.

September 19, 2017

Gimme a break

Maybe, finally the crazy "I'm offended by everything" movement has jumped the shark with the hysteria over Trump letting an 11 year-old mow the Rose Garden and the crazy bitch practically fainting over a display of cotton branches at a Texas Hobby Lobby.

The mowing incident is not child labor. Come on, I know you hate Trump, but that is over the top.

If just looking at cotton triggers you, then you have issues way beyond textile fibers.


Envy looks good on you

I live in the best place in America. You may think you do, but I literally do. Money Mag says so. All of you New Yawkers, San Franciscans, and Portlanders can suck an egg. Just think how we would be rated if there was actually beaches, mountains, or scenery!

It is raining. We are set to get a thorough drenching today. I'm not complaining, we need it desperately. All of this moisture will make my pathetic 'maters split. Oh well. We have had a steady, if unspectacular crop this summer. Not enough hot days and too little rain.

Did you watch the Emmy Awards? Me neither. I would rather stab a fork in my thigh than watch an awards show. It is silly, only the narcissists in the entertainment industry vote themselves awards. Could you imagine that in another industry? And the General of the year is....congratulate Jim, the most outstanding urinal scrubber....this year's winner of best sales pitch to a unreceptive prospect goes to...

Have a great day


September 17, 2017

To quote my granddaughter's favorite song, "Let it Go"

I start most days in the same way. I make coffee. I take my meds. I skim the web versions of USA Today and the local TV news. I then read various political/news blogs/commentary. I then either write a post or run through my blog roll. Sometimes I reverse the last two, depending on my level of inspiration on a given day.

For nine months I have been told my vote for Trump is rooted in misogyny and/or white supremacy. Period. Clinton was the most qualified candidate in a generation...blah, blah and I must hate women to not vote for her. Or maybe I wanted to repudiate Obama's legacy because he was a black man. I read articles claiming both notions just this morning.

Funny, when Democrats took over the government after W, it was just a change in direction. When Republicans take over it is about our secret KKK affiliation. The pundits seem to ignore the idea that politics in America has been a see-saw for 25 years. The very notion that a large swath of Americans may not think the role of government is to redistribute, nanny, and invent "rights" is a foreign concept. That some of us want a limited government is so ridiculous that there must be another reason. How could the ignorant rubes not ascribe to liberalism? There must be an underlying cause.

Hillary could not have been defeated because we wanted to step back from liberal policies. It is not possible that we looked at her burgeoning bank account and saw corruption. There is no way that a generation of lies, prevarication, and deceit played a factor. Certainly we should have ignored  her secret server designed to get around public access laws. Her position on our Second Amendment rights could not have played a factor.  No, no we voted against her because we hate women. 

We voted for Trump because we are white supremacists. Sure many of us voted for Obama, but...well now we are Nazi skinheads. The idea that we think the Constitution is the law, not something to be changed by executive fiat, that we support legal immigration but not open borders, that ObamaCare made healthcare worse for many of us -- that is just crazy. Trump voters hate the notion of a powerful woman (despite our support for Sarah Palin) and we clearly want to chuck the 13th, 14th, and 15th Amendments so we can again have slaves toiling away in cotton fields. Yeah, that must be it.

The low approval rating for all of Congress, no matter the party, is just a coincidence. No sane person could decide to vote for an outsider, the only guy who vowed to drain the swamp. No, no, it must have been something else...

Maybe people voted for Trump because he vowed to put jurists on the Supreme Court who would hold to the Constitution, not "international law", one who thinks the phrase "Congress shall pass no law" means exactly that. That we know forcing us to buy a consumer product is not a "tax" and want a Justice that recognizes that fact. I know, that is crazy talk. We hate women and dark-skinned people. Plus, my wife likes it when I tear up her good sheets to wear to the cross burning. I bring the marshmallows, but only white ones. That is the only reasonable explanation. 

I'm sick of it. Reasonable people can disagree. Just because I don't ascribe to your particular brand of politics does not make me deplorable. It certainly does not make me a Nazi or mean I hate women. It does not indicate that I am stupid. It could mean I don't agree with your politics. Nothing more. Sometimes we cast our vote for a candidate, sometimes against another. Most often, we look at the people running for office, ponder if this is really the best we can do, cast our vote, and go home and vomit. 

The election is over. Move on. Find a better candidate next time. 


September 16, 2017

Live blogging my morning brain

People always ask me "Joe, what is it like to be you?". Currently, I live my life as if I am getting checked for a hernia approximately every four minutes: cough, cough. Albeit I am not dropping my cargo shorts so a stranger can feel me up. I guess the good news is I have moved past the coughing jags that last until I am winded and near gagging. The elephant sitting on my chest has been replaced by a large sow, perhaps a buffalo. I am sure there is not a black bear on my chest, and certainly not a giraffe.  My chest tightness rises above the feeling I would get if a hedgehog were perched atop my lungs. I hope that adequately describes the situation?

My head congestion has reverted back to the normal "I hate fall" allergy level snot production.

OK, I admit you did not ask for that update. I suppose, if I have to be honest (and mind you, I don't), no one has ever asked me what it is like to be me. I have been asked "What were you thinking?", or "What is wrong with you"; both queries are often muttered by my wife, usually accompanied by "that look" and a subtle shake of he head. I have no doubt long-time readers of this collection of writings have occasionally wondered what the heck is going on in my brain.

Or not.

In self-defense, in the almost 74 years I have been writing this blog a few crazy thoughts are bound to find their way into electronic print.  Don't even try to tell me you don't have a occasional "moments".

I digress. From what, I am not sure. I have no intention of re-reading this claptrap to figure it out. That is your job as consumer. I throw the stuff onto the wall. You determine what sticks.

You think this entry is weird? You should see/hear/read the other thousand bits of stuff swirling around in my brain. I am only typing out the most coherent ideas. And I might note that all of the cranial chaos is playing out with Led Zeppelin's "Fool in the Rain" playing as a soundtrack in the background.

Welcome to my Saturday morning.

September 15, 2017

Sometimes I worry my little wooden cigar store Indian is going to come to life and kill me

Good morning, Amigos. Joy, joy, it is Friday at last. I'm not sure how good a day it will be, however. I woke a little after 4:00 in the morning and was never able to get back to sleep. I finally gave in and got up a little before five. That means I will fight falling asleep at my desk this afternoon. Tuning in to the ball game on internet radio may or may not help. What? Come on, what other team plays its Friday home games in the afternoon, when baseball is supposed to be played, under the sun like God intended?

Speaking of baseball, Hey Jean, 22!

 I don't think we have any plans for the weekend. I suspect the wife will think of something. She is not one to just sit around. Chock it up to example 4,659 of stuff we do not have in common. I could think of nothing better than watching an old movie or reading as a way to relax. She has to be doing something all of the time. I can't sit around and watch her do housework, I wasn't built that way. So if she decides to start cleaning on a Saturday, I feel compelled to pitch in -- even if I would rather watch Zulu Dawn or an Esther Williams movie for the 34th time.

My coffee cup is empty and so is my reservoir of bloggity words. Enjoy your day.



September 14, 2017

What Happened?

Dear Hillary,

I think you are missing the forest for the trees. It isn't Comey's fault. It isn't the media covering your emails. It is simpler than that. If YOU did not set up a secure server to get around the law, if you didn't erase a bunch of those messages once you were caught, if you don't try to cover it all up, then there would have been no investigation to help sink your Presidential hopes. So that issue is on you.

You, the media, and the Democratic Party pushed the Trump as a candidate during the primaries because you thought you could defeat him, he would be easier than Jeb! or Rubio. Blame yourself. You didn't have to insult 50% of America by calling them deplorable.  Similarly when your party spends most of the election putting down white guys, Christians, and to a lesser extent white women, you shouldn't be surmised they don't support you. That is on you.

When you don't even bother to campaign in a given state, it is on you when that state votes for the other guy. Again, it is on you.

I think we all know the Russian thing has always been a joke.

I could go on, but in a nutshell your new book explains everything many Americans dislike about you. You do anything to make a buck. Even writing a book that blames everyone but Hillary Clinton. You prevaricate, twist the truth, change your story, and blame everyone else for your shortcomings. You have a history of this. A vast right wing conspracy did not get a blow job from Monica, your husband did. A video did not get people killed in Libya, your policies did. The FBI did not cause you to lose to Trump, you did. 

I do not want nor need your "absolution". I did nothing wrong in voting against you. Your hubris knows no bounds, you egomaniac.

Please, just go away. 

There, readers, no need to buy her book. I have covered it in 511 less pages and saved you a cool $18.00.  You are welcome.




September 12, 2017

There ain't no participation trophy here

It may rain today as the outer bands of what was once Irma continue to slide north and west. It may not rain. If it does rain, we won't get much. We need it. I don't think it has rained in the past month. I might be wrong about that.

I could look it up. I won't because I don't care. You don't either. It is dry. There is no dispute about that fact. My little tomatoes are a testament to the fact.

I have a complicated post milling around in my head about the causes of the Civil War. I want to help people understand that we cannot impose modern values on 19th century people. Understanding the times will help us understand why there are statues. That understanding helps us discuss rationally why tearing down our history is counter-productive. Like I said, it is complicated. People way smarter, more erudite, more educated have written books on the subject. I am not sure I can give a reasonable summary in a blog post. We shall see.

Imagine if Congress took the craziest law in California and imposed it on your state. Or if you live in a blue state and Indiana's stupid Sunday Blue Laws* were imposed on you. Imagine that taxes designed to benefit a few states were imposed on the whole nation, hurting the economy of your state. What if the Congress allowed several new states into the country ensuring the Red States will hold a permanent majority in the Legislature? If the situation resulted in succession (I'm looking at you California), would both sides argue they were trying to preserve the Constitution as they understood it?

There was more than slavery at play in the Civil War.

* can't sell cars on Sunday, can't buy carry out beer wine or booze on Sunday...


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