...it is me, Joe. I know that compared to other regions of this wonderful nation we have not been treated so badly. But come on. It is frickin' May! The furnace is running. The temperatures reached in the 30's last night and we have a frost warning for tonight. Did you get May mixed up with March?
We had a long cold winter followed by a long cold spring. Both were pretty wet. You have delivered a foot of rain at my house since the beginning of April. What? Yes, I know that April showers bring May flowers. But again, with all due respect Ma'am, take a look at the calendar -- It is now May. Enough with the daily precipitation.
We are supposed to be basking in sunshine, pleasant days in the mid-seventies with a light breeze, not howling winds and highs in the forties and fifties. And the rain, every day we have the rain. Are you sure you did not get your planner stuck in March, Ms Nature? If it helps, I will lay off the margarine.
What did you say? I know I should be careful for what I wish. Last year I asked for it to stop raining and you complied. We had nary a drop of rain from July through September. But you made up for it with the spring rains last year and the loads of snow you dropped last winter.
Excuse me? You -- in the corner waving your arms and grunting "oh, oh, oh"-- what do you want? OK, blah blah global warming...weather patterns... blah, blah, blah. Your little liberal whining viewpoint is acknowledged and rejected.
Anyway, Mother Nature could you cut us some slack? A few days (maybe even a weekend) of sunny warm (not windy) days? Please, just so I can get my mojo back in order? Pretty please?