Dear Captain Scarlett

Thank you for your reply on my post about spammers. I am a little slow to respond, I have a life outside of the basement to attend. I would like to say I value your contribution, but I am not in the habit of lying to imbeciles. I am confident the sarcasm quotient would make your head explode into cat chow sized pellets. One of these missiles might punch a hole in your blow-up doll.

Here is your literary masterpiece in its entirety:

Some fags with just a few words let you know you wouldnt even want to be in the same room with them. Fucking loser!
Captain Scarlet | 06.27.06 - 9:35 am | #

I do not possess the vocabulary to describe how little it bothers me to discover you would not like to be in the same room with me. What is the matter, the description hit a little too close to home? I know you are angry, did your Mom forget to buy you Cocoa Puffs this week? Which part of my analysis bothered you so much -- the little dick part, or the dressing in high heels? Maybe you are upset you could not make it to the Star Trek Convention this month? Did your sister find out about your fetish for stuffed animals and sports mascots and rat you out? Did your video game chair short? Did you drop your Victoria's Secret catalogue into the toilet while trying to find your tiny member in order to masturbate?

Gosh, that last sentence of your comment, since it lacked a verb, was that a description of you? Is it part of your signature?

Fucking loser! Captain Scarlett

If so, I am sorry I did not include that wonderful honorific in the title of this post. Here is a piece of advise -- usually one does not include an exclamation point when using a title. The Honorable Doctor! Marcus Welby just does not look right. But hey, you are the Fucking Loser!, so do not let me be the arbiter of taste. I may not be up to snuff on titles or honorifics these days.

"Some fags" say you. You seem to know an awful lot about what fags think. Do you mean "fags" as in a British slang for cigarettes? Do you mean the perjorative for homosexual? Do you just like to say the word because it is short and you do not have to wrap your tongue around your buck teeth to say multisyllabic phonemes? Are speaking for all fags, or just you?

I had to use just a few words, otherwise it would be too complicated for your undeveloped brain to understand. It is a good thing for you I type slowly, you might be able to keep up. In the end, you are right. With just a few words you have proven I would not like to be in the same room with you. I prefer intelligent conversation. Stop by again, I value all of my readers and enjoy the comments I get.

Best Regards Mofo,

Hoosierboy