September 28, 2011

Hospital Hijinks

Last Tuesday the wife was admitted to the hospital.  As I got ready to head home for the night I asked her if she needed me to bring her anything the next morning.  She listed her comb and toothbrush among other items.

Wednesday morning I arrived bright and early.  I gave her her sundries and she combed and brushed etc.

Wednesday night  I came home early from the hospital, since she was still groggy and sleeping from her endoscope. I watched some TV and headed to prepare for bed.  It is my usual habit to brush my teeth before hitting the sheets. As i reached into the drawer something was odd.  The toothpaste was missing! I had taken the tube to the hospital.  I reached into my always ready travel bag and grabbed the small tube that lives there. I picked up my toothbrush, spread on the paste and noticed the toothbrush was blue. "So", you might say.  We have had a long-standing and inviolate policy that the wife always uses a blue toothbrush and I have a red one. She is also to NEVER squeeze the toothpaste tube in the middle, but that is a separate topic. I had taken her the wrong toothbrush.

Lucky for me, we had a new red brush in the drawer. Unlucky for her she spread my mouth germs into hers that morning.

Thursday morning I put her BLUE brush into a baggie and slipped it into my pocket.  After arriving at the hospital,  I asked her how she was feeling.  She told me fine.

"You are not feeling sick today/" I asked. she told me no.

I replied "I bet I can make you feel sick", and held out the blue toothbrush.

She looked at it and said "It is a toothbrush". I just looked at her . After about ten seconds she uttered with a great deal of disgust "Oh, ugh,  I used your toothbrush! Yuck"  As soon as the nurse let her out of bed she headed to the bathroom and scrubbed the awfulness of my germs from her mouth.

I guess the multiple antibiotics pumped via IV into her blood killed whatever germs I passed to her.



Freddie said...

Now see - if she hadn't noticed - well, that's a situation where I'd consider: "Meh... What they don't know ain't gonna hurt 'em" ...Y'know? ;)

Joe said...

Yes, but then I would have missed the opportunity to make her suffer for MY mistake! Plus she did laugh about it --later.

Ed Bonderenka said...

And no story to entertain us: your primary function.

Jean said...

What happened to hospitals providing toothpaste and toothbrush?

Joe said...

Yes they did provie a toothbrush and paste, but she did not discover them until later. The nin typical fashion, she refused to use the hospital toiletries.

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