The wife wanted to go to the mall last night. Since I am a good sport, I agreed. She did her thing, which involves looking at every piece of clothing in every store, then going back to compare. I took a quick turn through the sporting goods stores and found a comfortable place to sit.
It must have been drop-your-teenager-at-the-mall day yesterday. Packs of loud obnoxious youths congregated in every conceivable area of the mall. Mostly these herds of kids decided to stop and yell across the way wherever the kiosks and construction of the storefronts afforded the narrowest possible opening, forcing old farts like me to squeeze through where we could.
The mall cops on their Segways tried breaking up the roadblocks, but no one can take them seriously in their little mushroom helmets. Honestly, the crowd was Christmas-like.
I sometimes say words around here and in my house that are not appropriate. I know most of the four letter words that make little old ladies blush. I do know also when and where these words are appropriate. Sitting sideways in one of the stinky mall chairs yelling "Fuck you n---er. I ain't lettin' you use this phone, my bitch is gonna text me" is not what most of us would consider polite conversation. Later a congregation of youngsters stood right behind my chair carrying on a loud conversation. This sort of freaked me out, because I do not like people standing right behind me. But anyway, after some of the pre-pubescent girls moved off leaving behind a cloud of cheap perfume, one of the guys asked the other "You gonna bump that?"
"I dunno", he mumbled, "She is only fourteen."
I am pretty sure polite citizens do not stand in the doorway of the candy store and shout across the mall "Hey Jimmie, Fuck you, man". Not even when the words are said with good nature and true bon hommie.
Later in the evening, the mall cops worn to a frazzle, I heard one tell a group of a dozen or more teenagers who were standing and talking and blocking one entire side of the walkway to "shop or leave". A couple of the girls thought this was an invitation to debate the issue. Soon Metropolitan Police joined the white-shirted mall security forces in escorting them from the building.
Heck, I wanted to go to a movie instead of the mall. I got all of the entertainment I could stand without even having to buy popcorn.