February 25, 2012

If Jim Croce wanted more time he should have gone to a trade show

I failed physics. Not really, I dropped the class a few weeks in. Did you know there was copious amounts of math involved in the study of physics? And thinking. Lots of brain power is needed to study physics. I thought I was going to learn about cats and boxes and lasers and shit. Instead it was math. And thinking. And stuff beyond my ken.  Anyway I think I learned at some point that there is no time at the speed of light. I have no reason to doubt and men and women WAY smarter than I can do the required math to prove or disprove the theory.

I do know for certain that time travels at fraction of speed when you are working at a Trade Show. You may think you have been there an hour, but in reality time has slowed to a crawl and your watch indicates you have really been there six minutes.  That is a fact. If you have ever worked at a trade show you know I am right.  You do not need a fancy physics degree to do that experiment or postulate the law of Trade Show Time.

If you are not familiar with a trade show that is where  entities set up a booth and display their products as people walk around and look at the various vendor's setups.  The hope is you will get new business leads. The reality is the attendees are walking around looking for free stuff. Real decision makers do not spend their valuable time at trade shows. Mostly you spend time talking to and showing your stuff to other trade show workers who are walking around on breaks, looking for free stuff.

In the meantime, like Schrodinger's cat your watch and cell phone clock actually spin time backward when you are not looking. Seriously. That is real life weird ass physics in action.

I spent part of last week at a trade show. The good news was it was in sunny and WARM Florida. The bad news I was inside most of the time and I was at a frickin' trade show. One really, really funny thing happened that made the whole thing worthwhile.  Too bad I cannot relate it here. It involved embarrassment of individuals with the power to fire me. While I am pretty sure these pages are unknown to those who inhabit my real life, I am not prepared to take that chance. Trust me,it was hilarious and the tale is already company legend.


Ed Bonderenka said...

Will you e-mail it to your regulars?

Trade shows are distribution venues for frisbees, pens, magnets, laser pointers, hard candy, etc.
I remember going to a plastics show in Chicago and watching people (I will charitably not refer to them as idiots) lugging pvc chairs around with them that a molder was giving away.
I did buy some product I did not know existed , and still use, but it seemed that mostly we were going to see booths of companies we were already aware of.

Anonymous said...

The quality of the trade show can be measured by the quality of the ladies plying their trade at said shows.

James Old Guy

Jean said...

Florida, huh? Betcha a goodly number of the participants used the business trip to find their way to Daytona for part of race week.

Was almost 90 Friday and now getting a little cold spell. 60-something.

Dan O. said...

I believe I posted a couple years ago something like "The best stories are the ones you can't tell." Knowing that 2 of my readers were subjects of the story I was referring to and hoping they'd know it.

Never had to endure a Trade Show, but I feel for you.

Consider everything here that is of original content copyrighted as of March 2005