October 10, 2014

I nearly died today

Well, I was really uncomfortable.  I forgot my Chapstick at home and had to work all day without the comforting presence in my right pocket and the soothing coat of petroleum based products on my lips only a Chapstick can provide.  It was pure mental and physical anguish.  I think I read somewhere Chapstick Deprivation was the next step for those recalcitrant terrorists who would not break under waterboarding down at Gitmo. What, you don't believe me? Was there Chapstick in the Hanoi Hilton?  Did Sing-Sing distribute Chapstick in the canteen? Consider this: Trail of Tears -- no Chapstick, Bataan Death March --no Chapstick, Andersonville, Auschwitz, and Alcatraz--no Chapstick. Clearly a day without Chapstick constitutes a war crime and cruel and unusual punishment. I am pretty sure it is covered under the Hague Convention as well as State and local law.

I know, it was a miserable and horrible day. I am lucky to survive.

The Colts won. That helps.

1 comment:

Fuzzy Curmudgeon said...

At least it wasn't your ass that was chapped.

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