Scatter

If we ever get into another war with Mexico I am sure the US would win. The strategy that leads  to victory is clear. When confronted with the Mexican Army, our troops should just scatter, run through the enemy lines, and reform. The Mexicans will just give up, say "We tried" and head home for some delicious enchiladas and a cold Tecate. I bet the Demons of Camaron wish they had tried that instead of fighting to virtually the last man.

There is no reason to study Clausewitz. Sun Tsu is for chumps. Clearly the only training one needs to make it through Mexico is an afternoon viewing of the cult classic The Warriors.

Who knew I was a military genius back in my youth. In those days a bunch of neighborhood boys would ban together to do Halloween mischief. When a porch light would click on we would shout "run" and scatter through the neighborhood. Old Man Vice couldn't catch us. I just never knew he was heading up border enforcement for Mexico as his day job.

I just hope when the band of criminals arrives at our border brandishing their flag, we treat them like the invading army they are. I hate to think the US Army or Border Patrol can be defeated by the Cockroach Theory of Attack.