March 17, 2019

I'm deliberately not wearing green today. Get over it.

As I shrugged into my winter coat yesterday to go meet some friends for dinner I realized that brief glimpse of spring we had a few days ago was just a tease. Mother Nature showed a bit of thigh, a little navel, a smidgen of cleavage just to keep our interest. Then she brings back the cold winds and snow. We had a term for that behavior back in my day. 

Now I feel the need to apologize to women everywhere for my misogynist approach to weather. We are androgynous meat machines now. Joe you silly fool. No doubt it is my burning of carbons and using plastic straws that has caused this cold spell. 

If only I could support the concept of universal basic income, then our climate change worries could be erased. We would never have these temperature swings again. I'm a little fuzzy on the cause and effect here,  but my betters in the Democrat Party understand it, so shut up already.

The cardinal chirping out my window in the big willow is certainly active this morning. He is waiting for sunrise too. I bet he is just as tired of winter as you and I. There is no doubt he probably wishes the neighbors would unplug their Christmas lights too. Come on, it would take five minutes to pluck that line of giant candy canes lining your sidewalk. It takes but seconds to pull a plug. OK, the bird doesn't care about Christmas decorations. You probably don't either.

Have a great Sunday.

* edit. Before Anonymous freaks out,  please note that there is just a smidgen of sarcasm in this post. I do that on occasion. 

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Then rewrite it as if it was a male tease. Let's see you exercise your writing skills. Or will some homophobic paranoia stiffle your typing fingers. Female readers would love some equal meat market time. Wink wink

Anonymous said...

So how's that for sarcasm.

Ed Bonderenka said...

I don't get it. Which parts were sarcasm?
Either of you.

Jean said...

'stiffle' ?

Anonymous said...

Stifle. Spelling may be off. Intent is there. Ms. Jean. I is bad. I is sorry. P.s. more sarcasm.

Fuzzy Curmudgeon said...

Anonymous’s picture is in Bartlett’s next to the phrase, “Whatta maroon.”

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