Today is the Big Day. They (the all powerful mysterious “they”) have been hyping the big total eclipse for a year. We are slated to hit total darkness around 3 pm local. I have a regularly scheduled conference call with my boss at that time. I’m trying to decide if it would be unprofessional to ask to change the meeting to see semi or total darkness?
The eclipse will likely be the most thrilling three minutes I have experienced since the last time I had sex. I don’t want to miss it.
If you think I’m going to post that atrocious Bonnie Tyler song since it is eclipse day you are at the wrong blog. It is not going to happen. The closest you will get to a musical reference is in the title of this post. I don’t care for that song either.
I am glad the eclipse hype will be in the rear view mirror after today. Local kids even got a snow eclipse day off school today.
An eclipse happens about 250 times a year. It is not an unknown phenomenon. Based on the hype you would think we were ignorant savages straight out of a cave in the woods. Authorities are recommending we carry water, food, and blankets in our cars. They recommend we fill up our gas tanks. WTH? It is an eclipse, not Y2K!
One report warned to keep your dogs in the house lest they stare at the event and go blind. Seriously? When is the last time you caught your black lab staring at the sun or admiring a particular cloud formation? How about never. I think your pet is safe. “Yo, Rover, that cloud looks just like a whale.” “Sure does Spot, But I think my eyes burn from watching the moon move in front of the Sun. Hey, does my ass smell funny?”
Happy eclipse day if you live, like I do, in the path of totality. Jeez I hope it is a while before I have to hear that phrase again.
6 comments:
We're getting totaled in Cleveland too. Beat the rush on toilet paper.
Get off my lawn.
Cleveland's home opener, eclipse and I think ANOTHER basketball game...traffic will suck except for the smart people who will watch what they want on teevee from home.
We are only going to get a sliver of it for less than a minute. It'll be over while I yawn.
Totally in the path of totality.
And I'll be dead before the next one, probably, so that at least is a relief.
MTG is probably foaming at the mouth, ranting that god sent the earthquakes and eclipse to convince us to repent, like she did last week.
There are dingbats in both parties:
The Moon 'Is Made Up Mostly of Gases,' Sheila Jackson Lee Tells Students
Joe
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