Go ahead, sleep on it

When we were on vacation, I think it was one of the comedy shows, and the host was asking if there were any newlyweds. He then asked if there were any anniversaries. Of course my shy wife admonished me to remain quiet. Being singled out by a comedian is one of her worst nightmares. 

A  couple nearby allowed they had been married thirty-some years. The comedian asked if the old couple had any advice for the young couple. The old guy replied with the old canard “never go to bed angry.” 

That, my friends, is terrible advice. Look, when you are tired and mad you are apt to say things you don’t mean or maybe should not say at all. In an exhausted effort to end the argument you might just go for the kill. Some words you cannot take back. 

I’m certainly no expert. What works for my wife and I may not work for you. Here is what I do know; most problems look better in the morning. Sure, there may not be a solution, but often you are over the raw emotion of the situation. Then rational thinking can come into play.  

If you go to bed angry, you will likely still be mad when you wake up, but you can ponder your words, seek compromise, and remove the raw emotion from the equation. Often the light of day can illuminate a path through the obstacles and the mountain looks less imposing. 

This true not just for relationships. Most problems look less insurmountable with a new day. Of course problems never go away, but you can better tackle them well-rested. 

So yeah, go to bed mad. It might be better in the long run.