Arguing with the calendar

You might think March or perhaps October has the craziest weather here in the Midwest. You would be wrong. 

February clearly suffers from short man syndrome since it only has 28 days. It over compensates by throwing extremes of weather in our faces. The record low for February in Indianapolis is -21F. The record high is 77F. Based on my history major math that is a temperature variation of nearly 100 degrees (98 degrees if we are going to be all scientific and mathematically correct). Yes, bow down, I did that calculation in my head. I win math this morning.

I'm sure February weather would be far less schizophrenic if we would just pay the global warmingcoolingclimatechange tax. February wants to know why January and March don't pay their fair share, whatever that means.

No matter how many times I tell February that it has plenty to offer, it still feels shorted. "Look," I say, "You have Groundhog Day, Presidents Day, Valentine's Day, The Superbowl, you even have Black History Month!" I tell February it is special because every four years it gets an extra day. June does not get that. April doesn't. All January offers is a let down from glorious December and cold crappy weather. And clouds. Lots of clouds. We all hate January. 

I think February merely likes to complain. "I'm spelled funny. I only have 28 days. Everyone dislikes me because I'm still winter." 

Boo freaking hoo, February.  I've better things to do than pump up your monthly self-esteem.  Maybe if you gave us more of those 77F days we wouldn't loathe you so much. 

Randy Newman had it right. Short months got no reason...