An old friend sent me some fair and honest reviews of my two efforts at novel writing.
He says Hoosier Flats is a better story, it has the twists and cliffhangers that keep you reading. Suburban Moon is better writing. The prose is stronger and more complex.
Sububurban Moon needs some strong editing (both books do); there are some redundancies that need to be cut. There is no "twist" until late in the book, and it is rather weak. There are some very strong scenes however.
Hoosier Flats reads like three short stories linked together. He says it works, but can be jarring or confusing for a few pages. He liked each part or era for different reasons. He said the first section is a coming of age/crime drama, the second part feels like a post-war movie plot, and the third section reads almost like a western (in theme, not locale).
My friend thought the double timeliness in Suburban Moon offered great contrast and each showed a different side of a unique character.
In all, he said the books are not bad for an amateur effort.
I'm sure if you suffered through the books you would agree this is a fair assessment.

3 comments:
Is a twist required for good writing? The last time I tried that dance I put my back out, so I'll stick to martinis for a twist.
Ah Cappy you crack me up
Joe
Is Cappy's real name Don Rickles?
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