You Have to Know Your Limitations

Many posts in the early days of this blog mentioned my experiences coaching youth sports, especially baseball.  It is a thankless job and the parents were the worst part of it. Mostly the complaints from the stands were my failure to recognize that little Billy was the next great shortstop, if I only gave him a chance. Why don't  you let my left-handed superstar play second base, and why is my kid sitting out  (every kid sat out equal innings by the rule of the league). Never once was i irritated by a parent in tbe stands saying "Hey, do you need some help?" So it is with trepidation that i complain about the granddaughter's softball coach. 

I will admit I was not the greatest coach, especially when the kids got older. When they were small I could teach the basics - catching, throwing, and especially hitting. This coach has done none of that. These are six and seven year-olds, they need constant instructions and reminders, especially when it comes to hitting.

"Elbow up. Look at your feet. Swing through the ball." Etcetera. The only girl who gets this help is the coach's daughter. Most important at this beginning level (coach pitch) is someone who can consistently pitch a hittable ball. The girls need to see the same pitcher every game who can get the ball across the plate. Ideally, this pitching coach can adjust to each girl's swing. It is hard, and frankly, my ability to do this is why I was originally asked to help out in baseball when when my oldest boy was six or seven. On this team they have changed pitchers almost every game, sometimes midgame. The head coach wants to pitch, but bounces the ball in front or on the plate nearly 100% of the time. The girls get 5 pitches or three strikes and every unhittable pitch is a killer. 

Last night the coach struck out the side because not a single pitch was hittable. That is great if you are pitching for the Chicago Cubs, not so much against little girls. No one, not even Babe Ruth, can hit a ball that bounces in front of the plate. *

One mom pitched some games earlier in the season and did a great job, but she is not in with the three official coaches (who are all buddies) so they refuse to let her help. Likewise, they told my SIL, who was an all-state baseball player, they had no need of his help either. It may be the Best Place to Live, according to many reports, but they are still Suburban Moms. Mean Girls goes way past high school.

The result is girls who still cannot swing the bat and  who have no idea where to throw the ball on defense. This important because at this age is when kids become frustrated and never come back when they cannot hit. It is incumbent on anyone who coaches at the early levels to do everything to make the experience positive. Help, instruction and positive support are essential.  It is okay to have no idea what you are doing at that level as a coach. You are there for your kid. It is not okay to refuse help because your ego gets in the way. 

Luckily I know enough to whisper my mumbled frustrations in my lawn chair or in the car driving home. I don't want to be "that" grandparent.**

*how hard is it to pitch it to bounce two feet behind the plate if you can't get it right? Pitch to a spot, not the hitter. 

**see my novel Suburban Moon for what happens when you are.