Shark week

So, if I were a troll I would think twice before I insulted Kelly or antagonized Big Dick. Wonderful people. I just would not screw around with Dick. I cannot express my thanks to these kind people who spent their evening entertaining this traveler.

I saw a sight this morning that just cracked me up. I went down to the hotel breakfast. As I was finishing up a guy came in the breakfast room. He was middle aged. He was wearing highly polished black loafers and black socks pulled above his calves. I knew this since he was wearing plaid shorts. At first glance I thought they were boxers. He was also wearing a white V-necked undershirt. Comical.

WE had a big disappointment yesterday morning. Every time it looks like things are turning, the old Hoosierboy luck kicks in and the worst always happens. Some days it is hard to count your blessings as you are again beat to the canvas of life's boxing ring. I am a stubborn donkey and I get up, always fighting.

The Dallas Cowboys suck

I have arrived in the Big D. It looks like rain. The flight was the normal aerial bus, crowded. The lady sitting next to me stunk, she smelled like fish. You get the idea. Meeting Big Dick and Kelly later. I suspect a few drinks will be consumed. I am just guessing. If you are in the area come on down. Just call me and I will tell you where.

Maybe more later.

Run, MIke, Run

On getting old

I left home a little after seven in the morning yesterday. I returned five minutes before ten in the evening. My butt was sore. The meetings went well. As I pulled into the driveway I realized I forgot to put out the garbage cans before I left. I am not sure how I missed the others in the neighborhood as a reminder on my way out of town. This is the second time in three weeks I have missed trash day. Of course this means my garage will be filled with smelly trash bags until next Tuesday's pickup. I must be getting old and senile to forget basics like that. Perhaps I better stock up on adult diapers, I will soon forget what I am doing and shit my pants.

boring

Nope, nada, nothing. It is not writer's block, it is more a lack of ambition. I just do not feel like it. There are plenty of topics -- we are upon the anniversary of the sinking of the Indianapolis this past weekend. I started the research, I just do not feel like finishing. Barbara Tuchman once wrote that "research is endlessly seductive, writing is hard work." What you do not know Barbara Tuchman? Look her up. Whilst you are googling, look up Adrian Marks. I knew his son.

Lots going on this week, lots of travel. I will be heading to the Chicago area for a long up and back in the same day on Tuesday. On Wednesday I am off to Texas.

I am also busy here at the homefront. Kiddoes number one and two are off to college in a couple of weeks, so we have stuff to buy, pack and move to their respective living spaces. That is just the beginning.

Work beckons, I have to get ready for my meetings.

1304

I am in a shitty mood. I was yesterday too. I picked a fight with the wife. Then with my oldest son. Then another with the wife, this one a big one. When I went out to the porch to apologize, I started another instead.

Dragonlady said some nice things about me and I smarted off in the comments. I swear you would think I was a female on the rag or something. Need more proof I am a jerk? I purposely put up a post number for a title because I know it upsets one of my mostest very favorite reader/bloggers. I was going to change it, but I want you to know how it is today. I guess you hurt the ones you love.

* insert fifteen minute break*

Reading some other blogs, and I see I am not the only one in this mood. The one who cannot be mentioned by name or linked is too. (Hey, you are either in with the cool crowd or you are not!). Sometimes I think she is my twin sister by another mother.

I drank some OJ and had a couple of little chocolate donuts. Neither did a thing to change my mood or make my shoulder quit hurting.

The original intent of this post was to write about something funny I saw last night. Surfing the channels I saw that the Giants were on TV. The Marlins were finishing an at-bat and the announcer said Bonds was first up. I stopped, I wanted to see Bonds break the record (I want to see the event, historical-wise, not that I want him to break the record). The last commercial out of the break was a PSA about the dangers of steroids. I laughed my ass off. Did ESPN do this on purpose? I can only hope so. Bonds came up and walked. Did anyone else see this?

My boy is at Scout Camp

Dear Mom & Dad,

Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood
on TV and are worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping
bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on
the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.
Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write
because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps.
It was neat. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn't been for
the lightning. Scoutmaster Keith got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone
without telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him,
but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him.
Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas will blow up? Talk about cool!!
The wet wood didn't burn, but one of the tents did and also some of our
clothes. Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.
We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Keith gets the bus fixed. It
wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked okay when we left.
Scoutmaster Keith said that with a bus that old you have to expect
something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance.
We think it's a neat bus. He doesn't care if we get it dirty and if it's
hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the fenders. It gets pretty hot with 45
people in a bus made for 24. He let us take turns riding in the trailer
until the highway patrol man stopped and talked to us.
Scoutmaster Keith is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is good driver. In fact,
he is teaching Jessie how to drive on the mountain roads where there isn't
any cops. All we ever see up there are logging trucks.
This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out to
the rapids. Scoutmaster Keith wouldn't let me because I can't swim, and
Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast, it's concrete because we
didn't have any plaster, so he let us take the canoe out. It was great.
You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood.
Scoutmaster Keith isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't even get
mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the
bus so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.
Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Andrew
dived into the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works.
Steven and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Keith said it probably was just
food poisoning from the leftover chicken. He said they got sick that way with
food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster.
He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was
doing his time. By the way, what is a pedal-file?
I have to go now. We are going to town to mail our letters & buy some more
beer and ammo. Don 't worry about anything. We are fine and tonight it's
my turn to sleep in the Scoutmaster's tent.
Love, Rickey

Friday Funny

A Cicada lies dormant underground for 17 years and then emerges only to say

More on pygmy sex

I love CDs for their size and convenience. I also love the clear sound you can get with just a little maintenance. MP3 players will eventually replace even CDs in the future. But I miss record albums. Especially the cover art. The tiny picture on a CD cover has no soul. Here is one of the greatest album covers of all time:

The music is pretty damn good too. What are some of your favorite album covers?

Half speed

I am chugging along at half speed this morning. The wife and I took the youngest to see a midnight showing of the Simpsons Movie. It got laughs from the opening and never let up. It was as funny as some of the shows back in the Conan O'Brien days. My only complaint the movie was only a little over an hour long. In all, one of the funniest movies I have seen in a while.

The Bamboo Garden

I am back in the office early. My customer visit was cancelled by the customer. After driving a big two plus hour circle through east-central Indiana I went had my hair cut instead. I ate lunch at this Chinese place. Do you find the sign as hilarious as I do? I guess it is better than "Our waitresses are flirty, the floor is dirty".

I was going to rant about the cost of higher education and student loans, but unless you have kids in college you do not care. If you have kids in college you do not need to hear my rant -- you know the score.

The Simpsons Movie hits theaters tomorrow. I am pumped.

I know it is Thursday, but lets all try to get laid tonight!

Heighooo

If you are not reading JamesOldGuy on a regular basis you are sure missing out. He says what he thinks and he is usually right. Here he is on Hillary Clinton:

She has no self pride her only thought is to be president , she would suck a donkeys dick in Time Square if she thought it would get her votes.

He cracks me up.

It is gloomy and rainy today, but I woke in a great mood. Payday will do that for you.

Bush planned 9/11

If you believe the US Government planned, initiated and carried out the attacks on September eleventh,then I have a message for you.

You are a fucking moron. You should not be allowed to breed. You should be immediately sterilized. You are a menace to decent society. You should be examined by competent psychiatric professionals to determine if you are a danger to yourself or others.

If you believe the US Government assassinated JFK, if you believe the US Government knew in advance and allowed the attacks on Peal Harbor to happen, then you are no less ignorant of history, of facts, of common sense.

Governments, including ours, have a history of lies and deceit. Power corrupts. But to blame our Government for the acts of murderous religious fanatics is the reaction of an individual that is either suffering from ostrich syndrome, an islamofascist himself, or a deluded nutcase that hates the United States so deeply that you border on traitorous behavior. To believe BUSHCHENEYHALIBURTON committed the 9/11 attacks and are currently planning another such attack in an effort to overthrow the Constitution of the USA in a mad power grab is nuts. If you believe this bull -- well I think you are insane.

My life in Jeopardy

I am up at 5:00 am, hanging out with my buddy insomnia. We spend a lot of time together these days. I guess it is time to finish the post I wrote yesterday, my own little game of Jeopardy. You have the answer, now the questions:

1. What are the odds Greyroostercock survives the beating he is about to get from Big Dick?

2. How are things going for Osama Bin Laden?

3. How are things going for Osama Hussein Obama?

4. How is HB sleeping these days?

5. How are the negotiations going with big customer?

Update

Not very good. But thanks for asking.

Todays simple life lesson.

Lets try a little home experiment. Watch your local weatherman every day for a week. You can also watch the Weather Channel. Track how accurate they are. Now ask yourself this question:

If the trained, educated meteorologists are incapable of predicting the weather twenty-four hours in advance, how can they tell us what will happen in fifty years?

Then ignore the hype and bullshit surrounding Global Warming. I know this is not an original thought, but it cannot be repeated enough.

Done with Harry Potter

I finished it. One of the best books I have read -- ever. Lots of action.

I am not a smart man

Math was never my strong suit, but I have a question for my local readers. With property taxes spinning out of control due to the new reassessment measures (30-100% higher in every county) why are local governments strapped for cash and looking for other ways to raise funds? Indy has seen property taxes double and more, but still raised the local income tax by 60%. I do not get it. Please help me understand.

Now leave me alone

There will be limited posting today. Why? Here is a multiple choice test for you:

HB will not be posting today because


A) Work, Work, Work
B) He is in the middle (page 446) of a certain just-released book
C) He has nothing vital to impart
D) All of the above

Step Into the Twilight Zone

I was over at my buddies house last night, he of the knee surgery in the post below. Since then he has had four more surgeries on his right knee. He is going next month to have his knee replaced. We drank a few beers and he asked if I remembered the time we took him out and got him wasted before he had surgery the first time. I just laughed. It is weird how the mind works. On Friday, out of the blue I had a starling clear memory of that distant evening. I tried to write about it, I just wish I had the literary skill to spin the story better. The next day he tells me he is going to have additional surgery and brings up the same memory. He said he and his wife were talking about finally having the knee replaced on Friday morning as he was leaving for work. do do dooo do

Sometimes there are weird coincidences in this universe.