Rednecks in Action

I guess these people just love dining al fresco -- have picnic will travel.

Edit: RIP E.K., your jumps gave me the thrills of my childhood. You will always be the greatest stunt performer in my book.

Return of the Friday Five

I love the Holidays. The trees, the lights, the music. Christmas tunes are playing while I type. I love Christmas movies. Holiday Inn is among my most favorite movies ever. Here is one of my favorite scenes: The Big 4th of July Dance. YouTube will not allow me to embed the video, so click to see some of the best dancing you will ever witness. Trust me, those are mere hacks on Dancing with the Stars.
Here are my five top Christmas movies:

Holiday Inn
Charlie Brown Christmas
Miracle on 34th Street
White Christmas / Its a Wonderful Life (tie)
Christmas with the Kranks / The Santa Clause (tie)

So, I get seven. What of it?

What are your five favorite Christmas movies?

Please Christmas Don't Be Late

Man, I never get tired of hearing The Chipmunks sing the Christmas Song.

Me, I want a hula hoop...

I hate those fucking dogs barking Jingle Bells though.

Back home again...

Do you know the song Back home again, in Indiana? Well, that is where I am, back home in Indiana. I wish I had some interesting tale of mishap and humor from my trip home, but the journey consisted of long waits in various airports and boring, bumpy flights home. The day started around six am, and ended around midnight. So much for the joys of travel.

I was amused by a sign at the approach to the Tappan Zee Bridge. It told me life was wonderful and gave a suicide helpline number. I wonder if that last second reminder has saved any lives? Is the thought of crossing the Hudson that depressing? Of course, Westchester County is where the Clintons live, so that may account for the sign.

Should I be concerned when I return from a sales meeting completely demotivated? Is it just the season? The cold weather? A serious lack of nookie?

The big road trip continues

Whoo hoo, I finally made it. Gave my sales presentation late this afternoon. It went over well.

I have to sit through 3/4 day of more drivel tomorrow. Then it is back to the airport and a flight back home. Joy of joy I get to connect through Cleveland again!

It is good to be me

So here I am, stuck in Cleveland. My flight to White Plans cancelled. I must say the Airport Sheraton is expensive, given the quality of accomodations.

I hope my very early flight goes, I would sure hate to miss my sales meetings. And if you believe that...

Gettin' in the Mood

Here is a picture taken of the wife's little 'Charlie Brown' tree and redware collection a few years ago. I think this is a nice old-timey picture. As always, you can click to embiggen.

I got almost all of the lights put up outside yesterday, I have a couple of bushes I want to do still. The tree is up in the living room. The lights are on, but no decorations yet. I still have to put up the aformentioned scrawny tree. I will try to take some pictures of the outside later in the week.

Sadly, the kids go back to school today. It sure has been nice having them home.

Rednecks in Action

This is the can-do spirit that makes America the greatest nation on Earth. These guys live on College Street for a reason.

Gluttony

First off I would like to offer a huge thank you for all your kind wishes of a Happy Thanksgiving. Among a host of other things I am thankful for each and everyone of you taking time to let me in your busy life almost every day.

I think I ate more yesterday than I have in any one meal all year. Heck, I believe I ate more than I often do in any two meals. But it was sure good. Then I went to my wife's niece's house and did it again. Well actually I only took enough food to be polite.

On the way to my niece's I had a brief panic attack. Not a real one. I just remembered she does not have cable. Nor does she have an antennae for her TV. She can only pick up the UHF CBS affiliate from Lafayette, Indiana. She does not want her kids spending all day in from of the electronic babysitter. I can respect that up until it interferes with my ability to watch the Colts on Thanksgiving. Of course I know outside of Metro Indy and Atlanta NO ONE got to see the Colts, but that is because greedy NFL-types want us all to pay for the privilege of watching reruns, the draft, and eight games we do not care about. Anyhoo, one of the enterprising nephews rigged an antennae in the garage on a spare TV and the grown-ups who cared watched the game with a hint of snow on the screen. Perfectly acceptable -- again, I have plenty to be thankful for.

Well here we are, a chilly Friday morn, reading blogs and drinking coffee. Life is good. I hope you all have a great day -- buy something. The economy is counting on you.

Happy Turkey Day

What are you doing reading blogs? Go eat or watch parades or football. have a happy day. Be thankful.

Rednecks in action -- holiday version

Some good advise when doing your Christmas shopping on Black Friday

The strangeness around me part deux

If you read deep in to Homer's tales of war and heroism, you see the dark side of human nature. Cassandra carried a heavy burden for her powers. Some days I too carry a heavy monkey on my back. It is a tough job always being right in every thought, deed and action. Superiority is a terrible load to carry. As such, when I criticize those around me, it is more in a spirit of trying to improve the lot of my fellow man, to show those in need how to build a better mousetrap, of educating those with less brainpower. Or it could be that some people are basically stupid and should be made fun of. The choice is yours. The following is a case in point.

We live in a large subdivision across the street from the Middle School. It is about a four block walk for my son. He walks home every day. Since it has been dark in the mornings when he goes to school (class starts at 7:25 am) and there are no sidewalks, I have been driving him and a friend each morning. He would rather walk in subzero temperatures naked than ride the bus. The bus picks up the elementary school kids as well as the few middle/high schoolers that deign to ride. I do not blame him for preferring to walk.

My boy's friend lives a block south of us. On the corner. Across the street from the friend and one house to the west is a boy who also goes to the middle school. Each morning as I pull into Kevin's driveway to pick him up a white Caddy pulls out from across the street. She drives past the one house separating hers from the corner and stops and sits. I take the boys to school, drop them off and return home. The white car is still there. It finally occurs to me one day last week when we were a few minutes late what she is doing. She is waiting on the bus.

This woman gets up, starts her car and drives 50 FEET to drop her kid at the bus stop. I drop my kids off at school and return home while she waits on the bus. Does this seem crazy to anyone else but me? Why doesn't she just drive him to school? Of course, this is none of my business, but I find it incredibly odd. Kevin also says they back their cars into the garage. I suppose they need to get away with Batmobile-like speed in case she is running late getting to the bus stop?

Hump day already

So much to write, so little to say. My forecast (all 112 pages) is done. I have turned in my sales presentations for the Big Fall Sales Meeting next week (Big Apple here I come). There is not a customer in existence who will see me this week.

Basically I am putting in time for the next two days. You just have to love three day work weeks. In fact, my job is boring for the next 6 weeks. I will make a few goodwill visits, but as far as beginning new projects or finding new customers -- it just is not going to happen.

It is supposed to hit nearly 70 today. I may drag out some of the Christmas decorations later. I have to take the daughter to have her stitches removed this afternoon. I hear my cigars calling me from the depths of my humidor. They are saying "HB it is warm, smoke me dude".

Take it from me, if you ignore the voices, they just get louder.

Freud, Jung, HB, and Pavlov

I was mixing the batter for a pineapple upside down cake last night and it occurred to me for about the one millionth time that I really do not like baking. I have a strong dislike for the electric mixer in general. In one one stark moment of self-analytical clarity I realized why. Dr. Freud, call your office, I have a revelation!

Last night we were sitting down to watch a Christmas movie. I was finishing up the cake and there came a confluence of memories. I remembered a Christmas long ago as I was trying to watch one of the many Christmas specials, Rudolph or Santa Claus is Coming to Town and Mom was in the kitchen making divinity and other candies for the Christmas Holidays. In those bad old days the TV signal came over the airwaves, not through a cable or beamed from space to your satellite dish. And there were only three channels. I can not remember if the picture was black and white or color, but I am guessing black and white, since I was probably only nine or ten. Anyway, in the dark ages whenever someone turned on an electric appliance like a vacuum sweeper or electric mixer, it interfered with the TV signal. You got lines on the screen and static for sound. And the small appliances were significantly louder in those days. It seemed Mom would chose the most exciting moments of the show to run the mixer leaving me angry and frustrated. I hate divinity. I ain't real fond of electric mixers.

There you have it, do-it-yourself psychoanalysis. I will have office hours from 1-5 every Thursday. My couch is comfortable.

Rednecks in Action

Your basic redneck pickup truck

My daughter had her wisdom teeth extracted yesterday. She is one tough cookie. The vicodin is making her sick, so she said she would rather just tough it out. We finally convinced her to take a few Advil. The dentist said he could prescribe a different pain killer when he called last night to check on her (how about that in modern medicine?), but she said no.

For all of those BCS apologists who claim their cannot be a playoff in big-time college football, how do you explain that NCAA Division III has managed it for decades? BTW, these are TRUE student athletes.

Cookin' with Hoosierboy

I consider myself to be an above average cook. I prepare 99% of the meals we eat at home. I am not talking about manning the grill while my wife prepares everything else either. Sometimes one needs a quick and easy meal. Last night I prepared one of those.

Nearly every grocery now offers pre-cooked rotisserie chickens. These whole birds are hot and ready to eat. This chicken makes the perfect chicken and noodles. Pick the chicken from the pones and shred the meat into small pieces. Add to packaged or frozen noodles along with a can of chicken stock or bullion flavored water (I use both). Add your favorite side dishes (here in the Midwest that would include mashed potatoes) and you are set for a quick, cheap dinner that tastes like you spent hours preparing.

Take that semi-homemade Sandra Lee, you hack.

The strangeness that surrounds me

Yesterday I returned from my fun-filled business trip. As I was unloading the car (suitcase, coat, trash, briefcase, etc)the mailman made his appearance. He dropped off my mail and drove straight into my neighbor's trash cans. Instead of getting out of the white USPS truck, he backed up and hit the cans at an angle to push them into the street. He then backed up and weaved between the two cans to get to my neighbor's mailbox. He proceeded onward with his duties. "Not, rain, nor snow, nor trashcans"...I guess.

Some acquaintances moved in on the street behind us, but on the same block as us. These people are not exactly friends, but we have known them for a long time. Our sons have played on the same baseball team almost every year since they began baseball. They have been on the same all-star and football teams. We know them pretty well, but we do not hang out. The wife is a loon. The husband is a know-it-all, but they are basically tolerable people.

This morning the wife calls me around 6:45. She said her husband is travelling and she is doing her practical nurse training at a hospital some 50 miles away. She wanted me to go over to her house and make sure her two kids were up and getting ready for school (6th and 8th grade). WTF? Who would leave two middle school-aged kids alone all night? Who would trust them to get up and ready? How do you say no to such a request? I got dressed and drove around the block and rang the doorbell. I told the kid who answered that his mom was worried and to call her and reassure her they were up and getting ready for school.

Of course, I get another call around 7:10, the boys did not call her. I hope this does not become a regular occurrence. What do you do? Further, I can envision this neighbor slinking across the backyards every time he sees me on the deck in the summer -- boring me with his tales and mooching my beer. I have made it my lifetime practice to avoid knowing and socializing with my neighbors. A twenty year habit is not going to be broken now.

Truthful Tuesday

So here I am, in the land of Freddie, of the Hummer, of the venerable Steudabaker and the Golden Domers. More specifically, if you wanted to find a manufacturer of RVs or musical instruments I am in that city. You can look it up yourself. I am not here to visit a customer from either one of those industries, however.

I am blogging using my Treo today, so we will see how it works out.

If you are looking for something morre entertaining or substantive than yesterday's effort, you are out of luck.

Maybe something interesting will happen during my stay at the fine Hamton Inn.

A special post for YOU

It would be great if this post were to offer some bold political insight, some humorous observations, pithy wit, or banal historiography. Even an amusing tale, anecdote, story or parable would be nice. How about a cartoon or funny picture?

You get none of that. You get nada, nothing, zero, no gold ticket, no lifetime supply of candy, no $200 for passing go, no mulligans. Rien. Niets. Zip. Niente. Zilch. Nichts. 无关. ничего, Diddly f-ing squat. The big goose egg.

I have nothing to say. That is all, good day.

Come back tomorrow.

Is there anybody out there?

The bed makes a familiar creak as I roll over and slowly stand up. My knees pop and the accompanying pains shoot through my arthritic right shoulder and knee. I pad to the toilet. I yawn as I do my business. I wash my hands and glance at the clock: 7:03 am. During the week I cannot get awake, on the weekends I wake up early. No point bitching, life goes on. My wife gently snores as I close the door.

I shuffle my way to the kitchen. I throw away the used filter from the coffee pot, the old grounds a sodden heap. The used filter is stained brown. I make some coffee and turn on the computer. I read the online newspaper as the sky lightens outside the living room window. I see the tall decorative grasses are gently swaying in the wind and a bit of frost paints the tips the still-green lawn. Low clouds hint of rain later in the day.

I sip my coffee as I sit at the computer, breaking a hard and fast household rule regarding drinks near the computer. I break this rule every single day. The mouse pad serves as a perfect coaster. I will get away with it until the inevitable spillage shorts the keyboard or worse.

The television is off, the radio silent as I gently click the mouse. Head East plays background music in my brain. There is the irregular click of the keys as I slowly hunt and peck. The sound of warm air being forced through the registers is a faint whisper in the room.

I hit the blogroll, reading most, rarely offering a comment. One of my favorite reads is gone again today. I am entranced by a story at Counts place.

I can feel the tugs of loneliness and depression as they sing their melancholy siren song in my skull. I resist, focusing instead on the words that flow from my fingertips -- live blogging a Sunday morning.