Throwing corn, soaping windows, smashing pumpkins

I'm up late this morning.  Do you have your costume ready? Me, I'm dressing up as a middle aged asshole who does not care about Halloween. I don't really hate Halloween, just the teenagers who don't bother to dress up, or the kids who won't even thank you for giving them a handful of candy. I actually get a kick out of some of the little kids and their cute costumes. You never see the old bed sheet ghost or hobo anymore, booth staples of my youth.

The weather is supposed to be be miserable this evening, so I expect turnout to be low here in the cul-du-sac. The first year we lived here we had just a handful of neighborhood kids who braved the sleet and snow. Last year the wife and I were working at our retail jobs. We shall see if we have a bunch of candy or not enough. At our old shack, we averaged two to three hundred trick or treaters on Halloween. I don't think we will reach that level. In the old city we had extra visitors because the Hispanics all came to our neighborhood from the low income apartment complex. Do not read anything into that sentence; facts have no hidden meanings, SJWers.

Be safe.

Way to go, Stupid Party

The geniuses at the Republican Party just eliminated one of their most powerful arguments against the Democrats in the Presidential race: spending and national debt. Since the Republicans in Congress are complicit in burdening your kids and grandkids with crippling debt, it is hard to argue against tax and spend policy.

  Morons.

Too bad this post does not have a really good title

Last night's tacos are gurgling deep in my guts this morning. They were tasty at supper, not so much with my morning coffee.

Two things about the CNBC debates that surprise me: the Stupid Party let an admitted left-wing channel host a debate and that the moderator did not ask each candidate what kind of tree they would be if they were a tree. Seriously, why CNBC? That station gets slightly more viewers than I get in a given day. All 50 of their viewers are bat-shit crazy leftists mired deep in Blame Bush Derangement Syndrome and convinced that the One Percenters set the World Trade Centers on fire or something. Most of their anchors and analysts could have been hired without qualm by Pravda had they been "journalists" back in Soviet Russia. CNBC  thinks Obama is so perfect that he craps cellophane wrapped cubes. And this is the medium the dumbasses at the Republican National Headquarters thought should hold a GOP debate? That is like holding an Ohio State pep rally in Ann Arbor. After the fact, the morons in charge complain about the moderators? Well duh. No wonder the GOP is called the stupid party. What next, have the Westboro Church host a gay rights debate? Will they suggest the next Overeaters Anonymous meeting be held down at the bakery? Where the idiots in charge brain damaged by intense games of red rover and dodge ball as children?

In other news it is the season of my least favorite holiday. Halloween is a leftist dream. Kids go out and extort free stuff from hard working neighbors. You either provide the hand out or they damage your property. Looting and begging; just the values we need to teach our youth. I hope none of the little bastards show up at my house this year. That way I can have all of the Snickers and Milk Duds we bought. Bwah ha ha!

Oh, and here is some sorta appropriate Friday music:

Have a great Friday.

Satisfaction Guaranteed

I have no idea why anyone bothers to click here any more. There is no argument the content has been "meh" at best. I'm tired of politics and the presidential field is certainly less than inspiring. On the Democrat side we have a serial liar and criminal, a commie, or a guy we never heard of. On the Republican side we have a blow hard, another Bush, a doctor, and a whole passel of unelectables. I'm forced to repeat my mantra regarding those who desire public office: is this really the best we can find?

So, when it comes to content, politics are out for now. Boring monologues like yesterday's offering are just WTF? fodder. I have not heard a good joke in ages. Why should you read this tripe? I'll tell you. Yesterday I was given some interesting pictures dating back to the Spanish-American War.. Photos of the Maine in Havana Harbor. Pictures of the caskets of those who died in the explosion. I have not had a chance to look at them beyond a cursory examination. In the coming weeks I'll scan the images and post them for you to see. I don't think there is anything new here, I suspect they are reprints, but still interesting. They are for me anyway. Your mileage will vary.

It doesn't matter. I wrote five or six years ago that this place had jumped the shark. Blogging is as relevant today as AOL Instant  Messaging or MySpace. The cool kids have moved on to the book of faces and tweets and Instagram.

The calming influence of rain

My old buddy insomnia stopped by again tonight. He thought it would be a good idea to do a little blogging. Always an instigator, he got me started but provided absolutely no inspiration. So here we sit, watching the little cursor blink and wink at us.  I'm pretty sure the cursor and insomnia are involved in a conspiracy to make me look even more foolish than usual.

A worn out Patricia has been dumping rain on us since yesterday. The blog room is on the second floor here at the homestead. It is the corner bedroom that faces the front of the house and the roof over the porch is right outside the window. I cannot see the wet shingles here in the dark of night, but I can hear the rain gurgling in the downspout. Watch out itsy-bitsy spider!

I have always liked being up in the early predawn hours. It makes a productive workday a bit difficult. By early afternoon I will want a nap. As a teen, I spent many late, late nights watching old movies or reading. Twenty-five years ago as a supervisor on third shift I usually took my "lunch break" around 4;30, then I took a turn around the production floor before starting the paperwork and preparing for the 7:00 am shift change.

How many times have I wandered around a darkened house or sat by a window listening to the sounds of silence while my wife and kids breathed gently in their sleep? On nights like this I live the Simon and Garfunkel hit. That song speaks to the insomniac.

I love listening to the crickets and tree frogs sing their lover's plea into night air or watch the snow fall gently in the soft light reflected from distant streetlights. Or, like tonight, I revel in the sound of raindrops tapping at the windows.

A pair of yawns pops my jaw. It is a signal to my unwelcome house guest to leave. Insomnia does not visit like he did in the distant past. I'm glad. Some old friends are better forgotten. Nostalgia aside, I have seen enough old movies. I know the creaks and sighs of the sleeping house well enough. I'm ready to go back to bed and the steady gentle snores of my sleeping wife. I need one more hour of sleep.

When you can print your own money...

Why bother to have a debt ceiling or a long term budget when Congress takes every opportunity to trash it?

I wish I could just blow my budget on a whim.

Fuck 'em all, including the defense hawks. They lose all credibility when they refuse to cut a fighter that will not outperform a 30 year-old platform.

silly and stupid

Your touchdown dance or sack dance is stupid. It is really ridiculous when you are down twenty-five or thirty points. Hand the ball to the ref and get back to the game.

Easy to make Milk Dud muffins, with pictures

I need a longer cord for my iPad charger. I am listing to the right typing this because my cord is just a tad too short. There are options other than sitting crammed into the arm of the recliner. I could let the device charge a while then post my drivel. I could fire up the laptop and compose a worthy effort. I could just skip an entry altogether this morning.

I spent nearly all of last week in Loo-a-vul. The weather was fine. I was sure glad to be home, though. Leaving on Sunday made the trip seem longer. It is hard to Be happy in a hotel for four nights when I could have been home in a short drive of a couple of hours.

I mowed the lawn yesterday afternoon. If the rain holds off I'm going to pull the tomato plants today. Last weekend's frost did its work. Beyond that, I don't think I have any plans for the weekend. I suspect our resident social director has something in mind. She is always ready to do something after I've been gone 4 or 5 days.

The DOJ, in a complete surprise*, concluded the deliberate targeting of conservative organizations by the IRS was merely poor management. I guess we are to pay no attention to the corrupt bureaucrats behind that curtain. I wonder if the press will be so complacent when a future regime targets liberal groups like Black Lives Matter or NOW? I can only watch in horror as the last three presidents have moved us towards a banana republic. Sometimes I think it was better when the whole bureaucracy was cleaned and restocked with each administration through the patronage system. At least then we knew the government was corrupt, there was no pretense.

The sun is finally trying to burn away the gloom of night. The sky is a light gray from my window. The trees are heading into full color. I hope you have a great Saturday. I think I'm going to slap in an old Dean and Jerry DVD .

Oh yeah, I've never heard of Milk Dud muffins, but I bet they would be delicious.

* did the sarcasm font work?

Why not?

This cartoon is not politically correct in the "everything is offensive" days when a watermelon in a fruit basket is racist and a statue of Thomas Jefferson represents a "nonverbal code" of intolerance and is offensive to blacks and women.

That does not make my man Speedy less entertaining.

I hate you Chicago Cubs

Well, I suppose I still love you, but I don't like you very much right now.

The face beneath the mask

I caught the new Star Wars trailer last night. My son sent a link this morning. He is jazzed. I'm jazzed.

I'm not being a team player this morning. I spent Sunday night with my work colleagues. I was with them all day and until 10:00 last night. This morning I ducked out the side door of the hotel and grabbed a donut and some coffee from the Dunkin Donuts across the street instead of joining the gang for breakfast. I can only be charming so long. I will be with them all afternoon and through another late dinner tonight. Rinse and repeat tomorrow. I think they can get by without my presence at breakfast. I know, as the FNG I should jump in with a smile, but in the normal course of a work week I spend significant hours alone. All of this people time is wearing me down.

A lot of salesmen I know are loners. You might think they are garrulous by nature, but the long hours of travel requires an innate ability to spend time with yourself. As much as I complain about the endless miles passed in the car and the nights spent in a succession of mundane hotel rooms, this alone time lets me recharge the "good Joe" that makes me very good at my job.

I have to shower and "suit up". I'm on again in about two hours...

happy Monday

Has anyone noticed the price of meat lately?

That is what happens when you burn your food and feed for fuel instead of drilling for oil, or piping it down from Canada.

Repairing the potholes in memory lane

When the kids were little we had a video camera. It was one of the first Sony Handicams and it recorded on 8mm tape. Sometime in the late 1990s I spent hours editing these tapes into just one VHS tape for My wife for Christmas, or Mother's Day or her birthday. I cannot remember, but I made the tape, Okay? Anyway, the camera died years time ago, but the original tapes remain. Recently the VHS greatest hits tape resurfaced. I will now digress.

My wife is a pack rat, but is in remission. When we moved to this not so top secret location she threw away, gave away and sold a huge amount of stuff. I took the opportunity to rid us of things I felt we no longer needed that she had previously insisted we keep. One of the items I decided was unworthy of going to the new home was our no longer used VHS player. With the exception of the Disney titles, we had rid ourselves of our large VHS collection and replaced the movies with DVDs and Blueray discs. So, to summarize, we have these home movies of the kids, but we cannot play them. When I was at the oldest boy's house a few weeks ago he mentioned he still had his VHS player. He let me borrow it.

Back to yesterday. After running the head cleaner tape through a half dozen times I was able to make the old VHS greatest hits tape play. I intended to just watch a few minutes, but the sight of my children transported back in time more than twenty years mesmerized me. I called in the wife and we watched the whole thing. While the tape focused primarily on the kids, there were glimpses of my long-dead grandpa, mother-in-law and grandma. I laughed, I cried, I was reminded of stuff I had long forgotten. I saw my youngest the day he was born, saw him crawl and walk. I saw my two oldest grow up again right before my eyes.

We have to get all of those tapes copied over to disc or digital.

A collection of words

I suppose when  future you reads the archives of this blog you will come to the conclusion I am obsessed with weather. Discussion of the temperature and the existence of precipitation are often the opening salvo on a given day. Future you will be wrong assuming I am overly concerned with the daily climate. I do not really care beyond the need for a jacket or raincoat. I like it warm, cold or anywhere in between. Weather is an easy entryway into a conversation. So is sports. That said, it is cold this morning. Like in the 30s cold. I may have to break down and turn on the furnace. The inside temperature has dropped to a chilly 62.

I am late getting to the old blog this morning. I woke about five coughing. I thought I was over that. I finally moved into the recliner. After a while I drifted off, sleeping until almost nine. I cannot tell you the last time I slept so late in the morning.

We finally got the garage done yesterday. It looks great: clean, organized and uncluttered. I can even get my car in now, right next to the wife's Escape. How cool is that? Whether my fat rear can get in and out of the car door is a separate, and as yet, untried proposition.

I made salmon patties and fried potatoes for supper last night and a faint lingering odor of fishy grease still permeates the house. The wife lit a candle last night to freshen things up, but I can still detect a faint smell. I suppose the air is not moving much without the air conditioner or furnace running.

I don't think we have anything of interest on tap today, at least until this evening. Go Cubs.

I hope you have a great Saturday.

If I throw water on her will she melt away or propagate like a gremlin?

Mom always told me that if I have nothing to say I should keep my mouth shut. She did not really tell me that. I think it was some garbage about if I can't say something nice I should keep my mouth shut, but all I heard was blah, blah, blah.

I say mean things occasionally. I write mean things frequently. I think them constantly. For instance every time I see Hillary Clinton I think of Miss Almira Gulch.

I bet some of you do too, even if you are a Democrat. Don't worry, you do not have to admit it to anyone but yourself.

It is Thursday and I'm already irritated about next week

I've been home all week. No travels for me. No powdered eggs in the hotel lobby. No dining alone. No ass time in the car. No crossing and recrossing of the Mississippi River. I have been preparing for the sales meeting and trade show extravaganza next week. I'm just about ready. I have also been helping the wife clean and organize the garage. We got some new shelving a few weeks ago and are trying to get some things trashed, repacked, stored, or up to the attic.

As I said we have a big trade show and a sales meeting next week. I have to arrive Sunday. I already know I'm going to be a bit peeved. I hate trade shows. Time crawls to 1/4 speed when you are standing at a booth in a convention center. The Colts play on Sunday night this week. They will get slaughtered, of that I have no doubt. I predict the Patriots will win 63-7.  But still, I'd like to watch. At the same time the Cubbies will be battling the evil other team, yet to be determined. That I really, really want to see. Instead I will be eating dinner with colleagues I barely know, and really do not want to hang with.  Ditto missing all or parts of the baseball games on Tuesday and Wednesday.  I know what you are saying; it is just a ball game. You are wrong. I have been waiting for this a long, long time. Since I'll be stuck in a hotel room, I can't even record it and watch it later. Boo f-ing hoo for me.

Look, if I have to be honest, my first love is my family. Then comes the Chicago Cubs. Then you, of course. That is the way it is. Missing the Cubs play in a rare post season appearance because of a stupid trade show pisses me off. I can't blow off company dinners for a baseball game and that pisses me off even more.

Auntie Jen, I love you

I woke up a little after five ayem this morning. I don't know why. Maybe I was cold. After the ball game last night I started to think there was actually some good in this world. Then I read This story. Sadly, this is nor a fake news article from The Onion. It does reaffirm why I decided I could never be a lawyer though. Most attorneys are money grubbing assholes. Not you, Mr. Attorney looking to sue for defamation of character, but lots of your colleagues fit that label.

Through the comments on the news site that ran the article I found a short documentary about the old lady who sued McDonald's after she spilled coffee in her crotch. Yes, she was burned badly. My opinion did not change. The verdict was horse crap. The old lady claimed in an interview that "it was not about the money" and all she wanted was for the fast food chain to lower the temperature of the coffee they served. If that was true, then that is what she would have demanded in her lawsuit.

Anyway, suing an eight year-old orphan because he was too exuberant in hugging you is just pretty much the definition of a real witch. One commenter was right; in this case the "A" in aunt should be replaced with a "C".

Maybe

Cub win  Cubs win.

For the first time in the 53 years I have ridden this Earth I actually think it might happen... 1908 was a very long time ago.

I do beIeve.  I do believe.

no excuses, just fact

No time to blog. I have to get my work done so I can knock off early. The Cubs-Cards go at it late this afternoon and I intend to be perched on the couch watching every pitch. I love you, but I love the Cubs more.

edit:  Listen to the radio calls for all six home runs in last night's game:

Cubs win

as time goes by

The weekend slipped by quickly. It seems like it was Friday and now It is Monday. I'm trying think of what I did for two days. We went to dinner with some friends Saturday night. I did just a little yard work Saturday morning: I pulled flowers and picked up sticks. Mostly I napped, read, and watched TV, I guess. The heck if I know where the weekend went.

In any case, we find ourselves at the start of yet another Monday. I'm off the road this week. We have a big sales meeting next week and I've got numbers to crunch, crystal balls to consult, PowerPoint slides to create. If you drive past the house and see smoke seeping out the window of the back corner bedroom I use as my office, do not worry, it will just be my brain burning up.

On the far side of the cul-de-sac the top of the neighbor's maple looks like it was dipped in gold, while the bottom 4/5 looks as verdant as summer. I noticed a twinge of color on my sugar maple out back. Fall is upon us. I have a feeling we are in store for a long cold winter.