In an update to this post, the doorbell rang late yesterday evening I was excited to answer the door. I was sadly disappointed. It was just a couple of Mormans trying to save my soul.
When I was first married I worked the afternoon and evenings most days. I often spent most nights drinking. I had a big headache one morning when the doorbell rang. I answered the door to a nice man and woman who wanted to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I made the huge mistake of telling them I was a Devil worshiper. They went nuts. They became even more concerned for my soul when I tried to explain that I was just joking. I finally had to shut the door in their face.
They came back three straight mornings. Man, I was an asshole in those days.