June 20, 2011

Red sky in the morning...

Lightening is flashing and thunder is rolling in near constant waves this morning. The sky is a weird orange color. It was not raining much about 20 minutes ago, but while I ate my Cheerios and read the meager newspaper it started coming down pretty hard. I can't wait to jump in the car and drive this morning as I continue my "piss of the customers tour of 2011".

I had a great Father's day.

Weird shit continues around the old homestead though. You remember the weird frog episode of last week? If not you can search the archives over there on the left. Anyhoo, yesterday morning the boy and I were in the living room watching some Goodfellas while the wife finished whatever she does that takes so long to get ready in the bathroom. The boy asked if I heard that noise? He looked up and told me to look at the skylight.

A bird was pecking at the glass.  A very big bird. Another was staring down from the second skylight. I could hear the ghost of Tippi Hedren laughing in the distance. OK, I made the ghost part up. I grabbed a handful of ice cubes from the freezer and went onto the deck. On my roof was a whole murder of crows or ravens. Big black ugly bastids. On was perched on my fireplace chimney. I am sure he was the murderous leader of the gang. Four or five others were standing around staring in my skylights plotting mayhem with my family. I threw a chunk of ice at the leader. I am not sure but I think I knocked the Marlon Brando leather cap from his gang-leader head. A couple of the gang sang out a menacing caw-caw that I interpreted as "We'll be back to rape your wife and drink your beer." The evil birds circled around a few times and headed southwest towards the distant fields. I suspect a defenseless scarecrow was about to be tormented.

As I write this huge hailstones are hitting the house. I better take cover.

I just looked.  They are marble sized. I cannot wait to get on the road today.

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