January 23, 2012

I have answers


Want to know why those folks who are citizens of the World but not of the US are clamoring to get here? Looking for answers of why a person would risk life and limb to wade the Rio Grande, dodge the hated Border Patrol, and risk dying in the deserts of the American Southwest? 

Curious as to why the vast majority of the Third World hates us?  Concerned about the roots of Muslim anger against "The Great Satan"?

It is not our blue jeans, our music, our movies or our decadent culture.  The love/hate attitude of the world is not our wealth, our lifestyle, or our big gas eating automobiles. Global envy is simple to surmise.  It can be summed by three things we have and they want: Gravy, Bacon, Corn Bread.

The Northeastern media elites hate the citizens of flyover country not for our bitter clinging love of guns and religion, but rather the wholesome goodness of a pan of white gravy., the smoky wholesomeness of our bacon and the pure greatness of homemade cornbread. The Anthony Bourdains of the world look down on Paula Deene and her butter/fried culinary inspirations, but you and I know they just have bacon envy.

I fried up some chicken last night, mashed some spuds and baked some biscuits. I topped it all with a delicious batch of white gravy and I knew I was living the High Life.

Sucks to be you world.

4 comments:

Ed Bonderenka said...

I was musing the other day as my wife fried up pounds of bacon to meter out to me over the coming weeks.
How far into the rasher would I get before saying enough?
Would I?

Cappy said...

Huh? I thought it was the sweet hotness that is CaptainSQL!!!!!!!

dragonlady474 said...

HB, I'll have to give you the recipe for Praline Bacon that a caterer gave to me. It's heaven on earth, I tell ya.

Galt-in-Da-Box said...

It sure isn't our freedom and rights: Bush-'bama have done for those.

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