More? Are you kidding me?

It is your lucky day. You should run right out and buy a lottery ticket. I am going once again present an episode of my fictional coming of age story. Rest assured I am under no delusions about my storytelling skills. As Clint once mumbled, "a man's got to know his limitations". If you are  a glutton for punishment you can get the previous episodes here here and here.

Four

After the de-pantsing incident I was pretty down in the dumps. Back at school I was feeling sorry for myself.  Instead of sweeping my eyes ahead and behind, looking for danger I was moping around depressed.. Lack of situational awareness is a good way to suffer in the junior high jungle.

It was Ash Wednesday, so out of respect for the Catholics we were subjected to a meatless lunch. I was walking across the cafeteria oblivious to the stares and snickers of the student body. I was focused on the divided sections of my melamine lunch tray trying to decide what was more unappetizing, the congealed gray and orange mass of macaroni and cheese or the limp green beans. There was a chunk of strawberry cake with white icing that did not look too bad. 

High on her euphoria of my humiiation the previous week, Lynn Taylor decided to attack me herself. I was caught completely unaware as her foot expertly slipped in between my stride sending me stumbling across the floor, the contents of my tray flying in slow motion to hit Nancy Montgomery  in the back. My first thought was "Damn, that cake looked good". My second thought: "Oh Shit, that hit Nancy Montgomery!"

Nancy was big, ugly, and raw boned. She was the only girl in a family of uncountable boys. The Montgomery's lived in a rambling old farmhouse with a sagging porch just west of town. High grass provided camouflage for rusting cars and engines on hoists. Cats and dogs almost outnumbered the kids. The Montgomery's were mean fighters and had no qualms about taking you on in a pack.  But usually one Montgomery was enough to win any fight.

Nancy was as tough as any of her brothers and I was more than a little afraid of her. I saw her knock out John Davies the year before with one punch after he teased her about something. She just turned around and laid him out as he walked down the bus steps. Nancy usually wore her brother's hand me downs -- Converse high tops, boys jeans and a shapeless flannel shirt.

Except today. On this Ash Wednesday Nancy sported an ill-fitting and unattractive white dress and an ash mark on her forehead that pulsed with anger as she turned to stare at me. She looked over her shoulder and glared at the macaroni stuck to her backside and back at me. She slowly shifted her glare to Lynn Taylor.

"Look what you did, you Twerp" shrieked Lynn. I could only gape, mouth open. Shock and fear left me speechless.

"Nope. Look what you did" said Nancy in a low rumble, her finger pointed accusingly at my tormentor. "You did it, always pickin' on this here boy". Nancy had been in my class since second grade.  That was the most I had ever heard her speak. "Ahm tellin' you now, leave him alone. If I was you, Taylor, I'd find a place to be today besides PE You're gonna pay for ruinin' my new dress".

Twin emotions fought in my trembling frame -- humiliation in that I needed a girl to protect me and relief that same girl did not beat the shit out of me.