September 27, 2018

Uncle Paul


“Hello?”

“Hi honey this is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?”

“No Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.”

After a brief pause, Daddy says, “But honey, you haven’t got an Uncle Paul.”

“Oh yes I do, and he’s upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.”

Brief Pause.

“Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway.”

“Okay Daddy, just a minute.”

A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. “I did it Daddy.”
“And what happened honey?” he asked.

“Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn’t moving at all!”

“Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?”

“He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn’t know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I he isn’t moving either.”

***Long Pause***

***Longer Pause***

***Even Longer Pause***

Then Daddy says, “Swimming pool? Is this 486-5731?”

10 comments:

Ed Bonderenka said...

Ooops.

Anonymous said...

Well that's okay. He solved another poor husband who was being culckholded by his whores of a wife the prison sentence if he caught them. Of course we know that all the wife's at home are doing uncle paul. So funny ... can't. .. stop ... laughing.
Another tasteless joke brought to you by the sexuality repressed, p whipped old white boys club. Whose wife's when done doing uncle Paul go shopping and spend all the money and then have a headache that night.
Suggestion. If you want to be taken seriously tell some other kind of joke. Or better yet... don't give up your day job.

Fuzzy Curmudgeon said...

Hey, look! It's that AnnoyingMouse again!

Joe said...

I can only suggest you find your blankie and head to your safe space.

Is it exhausting spending every minute looking to be offended by everything?

I bet you are a real riot at parties. Does your significant other ever come down to the basement to tell you you are a humorless troglodyte?

Life is far too short to be angry, indignant, and offended 24-7.

Anonymous said...


You are 3 for 3 on your joke selections.
In other settings I would have thought them funny even if they were about sex or sexuality, not now, not with current events.
As stated before your timing sucks.
Don't you have any other type of jokes?
Maybe some slime political jokes or lawyer jokes .
Right now I would even settle for a why did the whatever cross the road.
Stop getting your tidy whites bunched up and select time proper humor.
Relieve the stress don't add to it.

Joe said...

I'm sorry, I missed the memo naming you arbitor of all things humorous and blog editor-in-chief.

I was under the mistaken impression that this was..you know...my blog and I was free to exercise my First Amendment prerogatives to publish whatever the heck I want to.

In case you have not studied the Constitution, and it is increasingly evident that part of your education is lacking, there is no right to not be offended

Anonymous said...

Now who is offended?
Yes you can publish what you want with some limitations.
Since you are a constitutional scholar I'm sure you know those items.
It seems you only want to hear echos of your own beliefs, thoughts, and expressions,I will leave you to your cave.

Joe said...

Nope I enjoy and encourage dissenting opinion right up until you start to tell me what I can print I am as entitled to my opinion as you, something liberals just don't seem to understand.

Anonymous said...

Not the impression given.
The comment was an opinion on the tasteful and implications perceived from three "jokes". You are free white and 21. I assume.
Did you feel empowered since you threw around the liberal label. Maybe when you implied that i was in need of my blankie and was the damp blanket on the party.
Your claim for intellectual discussion rings hollow. I can hear the echos in the cavern of your argument.
Good day.

Joe said...

Hello lo lo lo it sure is dark and lonely in this here cavern

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