July 17, 2021

wrapped like a Christmas package

 

I am home alive and well. The doc says the surgery was a success. Initially yesterday morning he told us after more study of my anatomy it may not be possible to screw the break back together. He might have to use a plate. He would know better when he got in there. He told my wife post op he was able to get the screw in and very tight after all, which was the far better option. 

So far my pain level has been low. No worse than before anyway — which was low. Perhaps there is something good to come out of diabetic neuropathy! Seriously, it has been manageable. I took my first narcotic at around midnight when I went to bed.

My mental anguish is different. I can put no weight whatsoever on the foot. And I have to keep it elevated as much as possible. I’m Long John Silvering it, navigating on crutches. Do you have any idea how hard it is to pee standing on one leg? Even getting up and down to girl pee is difficult. I don’t trust the towel holder to support my weight. I’m kind of pushing up on one crutch until I can reach the edge of the sink in the half bath. I suppose over the next couple of weeks I will learn to power drive my weight up and down using my left leg only.

Worse is having to be waited on by my wife. She rolled her eyes when I complained about having to just lie there on my back. She told me I wasn’t getting bed sores, no matter how much I insisted. I had been home an hour and a half at that point. She is a saint. I think her hearing is getting bad though. She asked me if I wanted anything and she apparently thought I said cookies instead of nookie. I am pretty content with the batch of oatmeal scotches she made. 

I am bummed that I can’t look at the wound. I have to leave it wrapped up until my follow up visit in two weeks. 

So far the biggest issue is that I absolutely cannot go to sleep on my back. I struggled the whole night. I remember it took weeks to be able to even moderately sleep on my back after my eye surgeries. Eventually exhaustion will win out. 

Again this whole minor episode gives me a chance to complain, a skill at which I am a master.

Have a great Saturday. I will be on the couch cruising through Mad Men and anything else I can find to combat my increasing boredom.

7 comments:

Cappy said...

Get well soon.

That foot is me!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWZx001afx0

Cheryl said...

Your wife just be a saint.😁

Joe said...

Crappy, you kill me

Cheryl, my wife is a saint

Anonymous said...

Occupy yourself by trying to find a number for the Pope. It's doable I hear and when your talking to him about a possible miracle for you to be able to pee one legged please be sure to mention you are also putting in for sainthood for your wife. You won't need to learn Italian as I hear he speaks Spanish.
Get better, mind your doctor and especially your wife. We are all praying for you.
Margi

Practical Parsimony said...

Tommy laughed at cookies! Get better soon and behave.

Anonymous said...

...girl pee. That made me giggle.

Wishing you a speedy recovery HB. And, of course, your wife the patience of, well, a WOMAN. (Cuz some of you men turn back into straight up babies after a certain age.)

Fred

Ed Bonderenka said...

Glad you got screwed.

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