Happy New Year

You will get no year-end retrospective here. Always look forward I say, you cannot change the past. You might think that a strange attitude from a history major and life long amateur historian. Instead you are getting a rant about sports --professional football in particular.

It looks like Belicheater will get coach of the year. Pretty sad that a proven cheater gets this award in the same year he is caught. Did the cheating give him any advantage in the subsequent games? Probably not, but he should have been forced to forfeit the first game, and clearly the message is there, as long as you win we will overlook cheating. Is there really any difference in this than the Shawn Merriman cheating last year?

How about Reggie Wayne of the Colts setting the NFL mark this year for yards and receptions? The best receiver in Football that gets no publicity.

I absolutely hate the Colts decision to play the scrubs most of the game. Fans paid to see the starters, and tickets are not cheap. Last week against Huston the starters played until a victory was in sight. The Colts said it was a game against a division rival and they wanted to make sure they did not give division foes the confidence they could beat the Colts. There was no difference this week, in fact the Titans already believe they can beat the Colts. They have played them closer over the past few years than any other AFC South rival. Why let off the gas? I would think nothing sends you into the playoffs better than a victory.

The Colts better pray nothing happens to Manning. This team will go nowhere with Sorgi at the helm. He can barely throw twenty yards and his release is so slow he is always in danger of a sack. The perennial back-up may be fine for maintaining fourth quarter leads, but he is incapable of driving down the field. The Colts had plenty of opportunity to pull out that game and one or two good passes would have done it. Plenty of NFL teams have played the backups with success this season, and the Colts need someone who can carry the team in the event Payton Manning gets hurt.

Happy New Year, be safe and do not drink and drive.

He haunts my kitchen

I guess I will take down the outside Christmas decorations. No more wreaths with their festive red bows. Gone will be the lights that brightened the dark nights in celebration of Jesus' birth. The next few days will see the tree boxed up and the trappings of the Holidays will be replaced by the monotone of cold winter days and frosty nights. The hap-happiest time of the year will be replaced by work and bills and cold short days. Most depressing of all is the snack table will be taken down. This is a temporary table we put up for Christmas dinner to hold the pies, cookies, pecan tassies and other sweets. Now just a forlorn container with a few cookies remains. We all look at the table knowing it has to be put away like just like the ribbon, bows and the star on top of the tree. It is so sad. No more munching, no more snacking, no more sugar highs. The dreaded Winter Diet looms with the New Year. It stands mute. A bony finger pointing at my gut like the Ghost of Future Christmas in Scrooge's dream. No more cookies, no more gummi bears, no more midnight hamburgers. The accusatory arm points a silent uh uh at the cheese ball and Chex Mix. A pox on Dr. Pepper, hot cocoa, and cold refreshing beer. The winter diet demands an end to gingerbread men, to little bite sized Snicker bars and red and green wrapped Hershey Kisses. The last wrapper of cream cheese lies crumbled at the bottom of the trash can. The Winter Diet is a mean bastard. We wonder why we are depressed in January?

Cooking with Hoosierboy Volume XL

One of the dishes I whipped up for Christmas dinner was what I call Orange Stuff ( I really call it something other than 'stuff', but this is a family blog). I made it at my daughter's request. I had not prepared this dish for about ten years and I forgot how good (and simple) it is. Give it a try.

Orange Stuff

6 oz frozen Orange Juice Concentrate thawed
1 can eagle Brand Milk
1 small tub Cool Whip
1 can Mandarin Oranges drained and cut into small pieces

2 rolls Ritz Crackers (About 60)
1 stick margarine
1/4 cup of sugar

Crush the crackers into crumbs
add the sugar
pour melted margarine over the crumbs
stir and press into the bottom of a 8x8 or 9x11 pan

Stir the thawed OJ and Eagle Brand milk together. Fold in the Cool Whip. Add the drained oranges. Pour over the crust. Refrigerate one hour. Eat.

You will not be disappointed with this salad/dessert/snack

Dear GOP

Would a TRUE Conservative please step up to the plate and run for President? You will win. Here is your simple platform:

-Control the Border
-Enforce Immigration laws already on the books
-Protect the Country from Terrorists
-Control spending -- all current Government programs will be held to the rate of inflation.
-Make one of your key points if elected to push Congress to pass an Amendment that all laws must show where they are authorized in the Constitution
-Encourage domestic oil companies to open more refineries and open the ANWR to drilling.

Start with these and you are your way to victory. Throw in the Fair Tax and SS reform and you would be golden.

If we cannot find a candidate we will be faced with socialist medicine and it will not just be our light bulbs that are banned. I hope you want to drive a Yugo, because Big Brother and his green storm troopers will be watching your every move.

Holiday Hangover

Whoo, what a Christmas. I got a bunch of new DVDs to watch, including a five movie set of Esther Williams flicks. I told the wife not to be jealous. My family came down yesterday for dinner. I cooked enough food for twenty people. There were eight of us. I am already anticipating the gripes and moans when I pull out the same food for lunch and dinner again today. I will just tell them boo f-ing hoo, eat it.

After dinner we played a game belonging to my daughter -- Cranium. It was moderately fun. I am not really much into games. Otter and my oldest son were on a team. They could be clones, they are so alike sometimes. My wife and daughter were on a team. The wife had to sculpt a cupcake from clay and the daughter had to guess what it was. As time was running down my daughter shouts "is it pork?". I thought I was going to die from laughter. I guess you had to be there.

In all, we had a great Christmas. I hope you did too. Now I am off to watch hot chicks in bathing suits.

I wish you all a Merry Christmas and tidings of the Season.

Thank you to each and every one of you who take time from their life and busy day to spend time reading the ramblings on these pages. I am humbled.

Read this instead

Ignore my boring shit and go read this instead at phlegmy's place. I cannot seem to find the link to the post on her template, so read the post for December 22, 2007. The one about the school kids.

Best Christmas post ever.

What is a man to do

Gift wrapping and some baking is on tap for today. I think I am going to have a go at some gingerbread cookies, and some pecan tassies. Some routine house cleaning may also be in order before the family arrives for Christmas dinner. And yes, I will be doing the cooking.

Maybe I will sit around and have a few drinks this afternoon instead.

Decisions, decisions....

1972 Rocks

As we wind down for the Holidays, I know many of you will not be be visiting Fat in Indiana under a mistaken idea that you need to spend time with your family, going to church, celebrating the birth of our Savior, parties, whatever. I can assure you all other activities pale in importance to reading this blog several times a day. Unfortunately, many of you will not heed my advice,so here is a question that may get you thinking. Was there ever a year filled with more great music releases than 1972? Granted, I was a mere lad at the time, but my album and CD collection is filled with music from this era. Here is just a sampling of the music from 1972:


A Good Feelin' to Know - Poco
A Song For You - The Carpenters
A Thing Called Love - Johnny Cash
Aerie - John Denver
Album III - Loudon Wainwright III
All Directions - The Temptations
All the Young Dudes - Mott the Hoople
All Together Now - Argent
Amazing Grace - Aretha Franklin
America - America
American Pie - Don McLean
An Anthology - Duane Allman
Elvis:As Recorded At Madison Square Garden - Elvis Presley
Back To Front - Gilbert O'Sullivan
Black Sabbath, Vol. 4 - Black Sabbath
Bolan Boogie - T. Rex (band)
Burgers - Hot Tuna
Burning Love - Elvis Presley
Bustin' Out - Pure Prairie League
Can't Buy a Thrill - Steely Dan
Cherish - David Cassidy
Chicago V - Chicago
Close to the Edge - Yes
The Concert For Bangla Desh - George Harrison
Crossings - Herbie Hancock
The Divine Miss M. - Bette Midler
The Eagles (album) - The Eagles
Eat a Peach - The Allman Brothers Band
Exile on Main Street - The Rolling Stones
Foxtrot - Genesis
Fragile - Yes
Graham Nash David Crosby - Crosby & Nash
The Grand Wazoo - Frank Zappa
Harvest - Neil Young
Heavy Cream - Cream (band)
He Touched Me - Elvis Presley
Hendrix in the West - Jimi Hendrix
Homecoming - America
Home Free - Dan Fogelberg
Honky Chateau - Elton John
Hot August Night - Neil Diamond
Jackson Browne - Jackson Browne
Jeff Beck Group - Jeff Beck
Journey Through the Past - Neil Young
Lady Sings the Blues - Diana Ross
Led Zeppelin IV - Led Zeppelin
Living in the Past - Jethro Tull
Loggins and Messina - Loggins and Messina
The London Chuck Berry Sessions - Chuck Berry
Lou Reed - Lou Reed
Madman Across The Water - Elton John
The Magician's Birthday - Uriah Heep
Mardis Gras - Creedence Clearwater Revival
Mark,Don and Mel,1969-1971 - Grand Funk Railroad
Manassas (rock album)Manassas - Stephen Stills and Manassas
Moods - Neil Diamond
More Hot Rocks - The Rolling Stones
Music of My Mind - Stevie Wonder
Never a Dull Moment - Rod Stewart
No Answer - Electric Light Orchestra
Obscured by Clouds - Pink Floyd
One Man Dog - James Taylor
Paul Simon - Paul Simon
Pictures at an Exhibition - Emerson, Lake & Palmer
Pure Prairie League - Pure Prairie League
The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars - David Bowie
Roadwork - Edgar Winter's White Trash
Rock Me Baby - David Cassidy
Rockin' - The Guess Who
Rockpile - Dave Edmunds
Rocky Mountain High - John Denver
Sailin' Shoes - Little Feat
Saint Dominic's Preview - Van Morrison
School's Out - Alice Cooper
Seven Separate Fools - Three Dog Night
Seventh Sojourn - The Moody Blues
Simon & Garfunkel's Greatest Hits - Simon & Garfunkel
Sittin' In - Loggins and Messina
Smokin' O.P.'s - Bob Seger
Some Time In New York City - John Lennon
Summer Breeze - Seals and Crofts
[[The Soundtrack to Superfly - Curtis Mayfield
Talking Book - Stevie Wonder
There It Is - James Brown
They Only Come Out At Night - The Edgar Winter Group
Thick as a Brick - Jethro Tull
Toulouse Street - The Doobie Brothers
Transformer - Lou Reed
Trilogy - Emerson, Lake & Palmer
Trouble Man - Marvin Gaye
Vol. 4 - Black Sabbath
Waka/Jawaka - Frank Zappa
War Heroes - Jimi Hendrix
Weird Scenes Inside the Gold Mine - The Doors
Wild One - The Guess Who

In addition Pink Floyd performed Dark Side of the Moon for the first time, although it would not be released until 1973.

* bold indicates albums/cds or 8 tracks I own or once owned.

Ok, I included David Cassidy for my wife, who admits she got wet britches as a prepubescent whenever he appeared on Tiger Beat or whatever. And Melanie, lets just say I have a brand new pair of roller skates...Yeah, one of the most annoying songs ever. And while I am not a Carpenters fan you have to admit they changed Pop music and brought attention to eating disorders.

Anyway look at that list -- Cream, Zep, Yes, Jethro Tull, ELP, The Stones, Zappa, The Moody Blues. Was there a better year for music?

Real Life

You have one hour to get your mean nasty comments in...



Too late, too slow. This is proof positive evidence of why you should be clicking on Fat in Indiana every fifteen minutes -- minimum...

Just for you Freddie and you SuperGurl.

Do I look old?

Erica -- this is what I see when I look in a mirror. Of course I do not have my glasses on, and we all live in the past just a little...

maybe this is more realistic. Do I look 21 in this picture?

Ain't that a kick in the head

I do not consider myself a vain man. I am short, overweight and my hair is not as thick or as dark as it used to be. I have to wear glasses now, the no-line bifocal kind. In short I view myself a typical 40-ish kind of guy. Sure, I have my aches and pains, but I get out and throw the ball with the boy, shovel the drive and mow the yard. The men have always looked young in my family. My Dad will hit 70 next month and looks nowhere his age. I was still getting carded when buying beer into the 1990's when I was pushing thirty.

You can imagine my disappointment last night when the clerk asked me if I was over 50 last night when buying a Christmas present for my wife. She told me she wanted to make sure I got every discount I could. I think well on my feet, and always have a quick repartee or response. I do not panic. It is my an integral part of my job, and I am good at that aspect.

I was completely mute. I could think of nothing to say. I bet I stood there tongue-tied for a few seconds before some really mean and hateful phrases came to mind. The clerk was smiling like she had just offered me the key to the city. I think she was really trying to be helpful. I just offered a lame, "Well I am not quite there yet." and tendered my debit card. I thumped out the store like a deflated tire. I think I would have felt better had she kicked me in the groin.

I moved on to the next store, my Holiday Spirit extinguished. I finally headed for home ready to try again today. My wife found the story hilarious. I tried to parlay the episode into a means to get some sympathy sex -- you know, remind me I am still a young man at heart, etc., but she shot me down. Anyone else want to get in a kick?

Maybe I will stop off at the drugstore this morning to get some Grecian Formula...

1484

We hang out a lot with this other couple. Our kids are similar ages. More importantly, we have known them forever. The guy has been one of my best friends since seventh grade. We played on the same little league team before that. The wife grew up just a few blocks from my wife. We were in each other's weddings. We get together at least once a month (we live about 90 miles apart)to play cards, drink a few beers and have a good time. We have vacationed together the past few years. Outside of my family, there is no one I am closer to.

My buddy had his knee replaced today. I just got off the phone with his wife and all went well. Imagine replacing a knee at 46 years old. High school and subsequent football and basketball injuries have made his life hell for more than 20 years. He has had at least 4-5 surgeries to repair the mess inside. Finally the pain was too much. He opted for the titanium joint. The doctors say the hardest part of his recovery will be retraining tendons and muscles. He has not been able to straighten his leg for decades. What a way to spend Christmas. I suspect the doctor and hospital will frown if I bring beer and cigars to his hospital room.

How I spent my Monday Morning

a report by Hoosierboy

I got up early to make a dish for my wife to take to the potluck for work. This is it:Fruit pizza. Ain't I amazing?

I have spent the majority of the morning on the phone on work related business. I have sent emails and have several more hours of work to do, including my December expenses. So much for vacation.

So, how was your weekend?

Oh, the weather outside is frightful

Begin with two thick slices of homemade bread. Smear healthy layer of smooth peanut butter on one of the slices ( choosy Moms choose Jif). Thinly slice a Granny Smith apple and layer over the peanut butter. Now add a heaping pile of roasted, shredded crow. Top with the other slice of bread. Now eat that weatherman.

Our estimated 12-17 inches of snow layered with ice and freezing rain turned into a tawdry few inches instead. It is blowing. Given the flatness of the terrain, drifting snow will render east/west roads impassable. The point is, your estimates were wrong by a factor of several hundred percent Weatherman. Your track record is miserable. Why not just say it looks like we will get snow and leave the rest to chance. How about a freakin' apology for the scare tactics you employ to get us to keep your station tuned in for weather updates instead of reading blogs and watching porn?

Look, I get it. The weatherman's prognostications are based on computer models. The capricious winds blow where they want, not as a computer programs. The movement of a front or low pressure cell by a dozen miles can change the local weather enormously. The weather quack errors on the side of caution. Hurricanes Katrina and Andrew and thousands of tornadoes have proven it is better to warn people of the worst, to protect us from our own ignorance and stupidity. I think we can all agree forecasting the weather is a guess and in no way an exact science.

Given that understanding, how in the world can anyone accept the forecast and computer estimates of our weather two, ten and even fifty years from now? Is the weather from last December 17 an indication of what will happen tomorrow? Can we say with scientific certainty that just because it often rains on my wife's birthday it will rain on June 8, 2013? Do any of these theories sound remotely scientific or even plausible? Then why are you buying the global warming crap? Maybe it is getting warmer, maybe not. Perhaps weather patterns have changed. Is this a harbinger of global catastrophe? Will the polar bears drown? Will the Mexicans be moving to Greenland to pick tomatoes? Only time will tell. I do know it is economic suicide to bet our economy and way of life on computer models that cannot predict the weather 12 hours in advance.

Oh, Hoosierboy, a consensus of scientist agree we are facing apocalyptic climate change that will destroy our planet. Well a consensus of weather experts also said I would be looking at a foot of blowing drifting frozen and crystalized water clogging my driveway this morning. A consensus of scientists believed our planet was flat at one time. A consensus of scientists believed the Sun revolved around the Earth. Heck, a consensus of some of the greatest thinkers in history believed the sun was pulled through the sky by Apollo in his golden chariot. The same scientists who are now ringing the alarm bells of global warming were in agreement a few decades ago we were faced with a coming ice age that would doom our planet, our civilization, our way of life. The computer models said so.

Take your global warming hysteria and shove it straight up your greasy hemorrhoidal asshole, Al Gore. If my local weather expert cannot predict the climate tomorrow, why would I listen to a politician that has never worked a real job?

Rednecks in Action

Nothing like wearing your best T-Shirt for that engagement photo.

Live blogging the storm.

The weather quacks have been warning us for days about the big storm heading my way. As of the late news last night we were to expect heavy snow by dawn -- one inch per hour. Well their version of an inch must be even smaller than the one I use to measure my dong. I will keep you updated as long as I have access to the computer. When the boy gets up he will hog the keyboard.

5:45 am: Nothing

6:33 am: rein, zip, nada

7:30 am: Went out to get the paper. Windy, I might have felt a snowflake. That would be singular. It also might have been my imagination.

8:07 am: There is a thin coating on my patio table -- like someone has dusted it with flour to make pie crust.

8:39 am: OK, I might have been premature (like this is the first time...) it is coming down hard, the ground is already nearly covered. The patio table now looks like it has a thick layer of white frosting. I hear Rosemary Clooney singing "Snow" in my cranium.

9:30 am. It has tapered off and is not snowing hard at all now. There is still way less than an inch on the ground. I could broom it off the sidewalk. F-ing weatherman. Dang SoHos, I could use some of that 80 degree weather. OTOH. it is Christmas, and just like Bing, I am dreaming...

10:13 am: Technically it is snowing, but if it were rain we would call it drizzle. The snowteam says it is coming, really it is going to be horrible, we must all panic, stay off the roads. Yawn. I switch to the show on the Travel Channel about Bigfoot. There is a a comparison in my mind between the believers in Bigfoot and the snowteam/panic team, but I just can't get it into words...scepticism?

Frozen Friday

It is not really that cold. I just like alliteration. We are expecting some snow this weekend. I am positive storm team/scare team will be out in force at every station making sure every citizen is panicked into buying eggs, milk and bread in anticipation of the whopping inch or two of snow we will ultimately get. Why do stores always sell out of those staples when snow is predicted? I do not know, I guess Hoosiers like French Toast. Does this happen in your area? What kills me is in my lifetime there has only been one snow so bad one could not get to the store for a day or two, and that was in 1978. Can we let up a bit on the panic, media people?

I got some good news yesterday. It appears I am steroid free. There was no mention of me in the baseball steroid/HGH investigation.

Well I am off in a bit to visit my last customer of the week, month and year. I will be on vacation until January 2, 2008 after today. I do not mind saying I will likely take off a little early this afternoon, providing my customer visit goes well (in other words short).

Happy Friday.

Dining with HB

BBQ is like sex - there is good and really good. The ribs I had tonight were just good. They were billed as Memphis style. They were coated with a dry rub and no sauce. They ribs were a bit dry, but had a good flavor. There were several bottles of sauces on the table including a hot, a "Texas Pit" ' a sweet and spicy ( my favorite), and a mustard based sauce for those who prefer Carolina-style ribs.

The cornbread muffins were a little sweet for me and I prefer a little more vinager in my slaw.

The price was reasonable. If you find yourself on Lake Street in Addison, IL, you could do worse than Famous Dave's Bar B Que.

Did you miss me?

I guess the real question is did you know I did not post? Travelling all week, Right now I am in the Second City -- between customer visits. I think I am finally getting this Treo blogging thing.

Man, is that Petrino a dooshbag or what? How could any parent allow their budding football star go to play for that guy? He bailed on Louisville and he bailed on the Falcons. According to the radio Petrino told his owner on Monday he was staying. Would you trust him?

Monday Musings

One more week and then I am on vacation for the balance of 2007. I have said it before -- it is good to be me. Too bad this shapes up to be a very busy week. Customer meetings Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. On top of all it looks like some nasty weather is moving in for those same days. I do not mind snow, but I hate ice. No one can predict where their vehicle will go on ice.

It sure looks like the NFL is turning into a four team league. The Pats sure looked good yesterday. The Cowboys are just lucky. The Packers and Colts just keep winning. For reigning Superbowl champs the Colts are sure being ignored. I am not sure the Patriots will have a walkover if these two teams meet in the playoffs. I am not sure anyone is looking forward to meeting Jax or the Vikings in the playoffs either.

Nathan, you sure provided evidence one needs to proofread. I blame it on a lack of sleep...

It looks as if the NFL is turning into a four team league. The Pats looked pretty good yesterday. The Cowboys are just lucky. The Packers and Colts just keep winning. For reigning Superbowl champs the Colts are sure being ignored. I am not confident the Patriots will have a walkover if these two teams meet in the playoffs. I bet no one is looking forward to meeting Jax or the Vikings in the playoffs either.

No matter what it costs, no matter the long-term effect on the franchise, Jamaal Tinsley needs to be gone from the Indiana Pacers. Now. He has shown a history of putting himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. Like Pacman Jones, all these incidents are not happenstance. Not only is he a marginal player, he is a troublemaker and I think as big a cancer as Ron Artest, in a different way.

Happy Monday