June 23, 2005

An open letter to the locals -- leave the skateboarders alone

Hello you narrow-minded busy-bodies,

I am aware of your hatred of all things skateboarding, and in fact, execration of all children. I am aware that teenagers, in particular, like to gather in groups, that they dress weird, they are loud, listen to horrid music, and yes, use bad words. They take the Lord's name in vain. Sometimes they smoke. Nasty buggers teenagers are. Kids and teenagers do not usually think beyond their own immediate needs and wants. There is much left to desire when describing teenagers. I share to a degree your attitude. I am also cognizant that I acted similarly in my youth.

You bought a house beside a city park. Of course now you are upset there are actually KIDS IN THE PARK. Holy Cow, teenagers are using the park and its included skatepark. Sometimes they are annoying. Get over it. The skatepark closes at 6:00 pm for goodness sake. What are you doing all day? Get a job, volunteer, help the elderly if the kids bother you so much in the afternoon. To you and your neighbors, you had no problem with KIDS IN THE PARK when you had kids growing up. I know, because your son told me he used to hang out over there and raise hell, smoke, cuss and beat up the smaller kids for Coke money. That park was built in the 1920's. I am positive it was there before a single current homeowner.

Attention, if you are dim -- if you do not want kids near your house do not buy a dwelling located next to a park. Kids tend to go to those places. I know you like to sit on your deck shirtless, smoking and drinking while listening to country music. I guess the sight of teenagers skating in the skatepark shirtless, listening to music is truly appalling. I do not blame you. Note for the stupid types -- that is sarcasm.

As far as the skatepark ruining your quality of life and property values, I think you should look at your neighbor's broken down boat -- the weeds are over the wheel-well on the trailer. The garbage cans overflowing next to your garages might lower your values. Maybe you should move some of the broken appliances in the back yard. Mowing might help. Have you ever thought about a little paint on the trim?

Finally, I have a special comment for the lady so proud of the fact that you call the police every time you see a skateboarder on private property (even though the property does not belong to you). You Madame, are a fascist. It is people like you that let the Chekka and KGB hold the USSR under their thumb. You are a busybody,a despicable human being, a mean, evil, wretched old twat. You are a killjoy, a NIMBY of the worst sort. I bet you kick dogs, refuse to tip waitresses and poison bunnies.
I find you disgusting, reprehensible, loathsome, nasty, revolting and an insufferable bore. Your actions are lower than whaleshit, and to take joy in calling the police on kids who are doing you no harm is sick beyond words. I hope I have been clear about my feelings, you old c*nt.

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