Chapter 19, wherein I encounter one of the dumbest people to ever take to the friendly skies

I have flown commercial a bunch of times. Less than some people I know, but I would guess more than your average tourist.  I have never kept a complete count, but I know I have way more than 500 takeoffs to my credit.

I have experienced some amazing stuff flying. There was the guy who honestly could not work the seatbelt. I once sat next to a woman so terrified to fly she gripped my arm the entire flight, leaving bruises. I saw a guy piss into the air-sick bag while we were on the runway at Schipol (that one is in the archives somewhere). Monday I experienced passenger stupidity that would have to even make the list for a flight attendant.

We were coming into Charlotte Monday night. The plane was well down the glide slope, flaps extended, gear down. We were maybe 100 feet above ground, less than a minute from landing.  I suddenly hear the attendant in the back scream "sit down, sit down". An instant later the attendant in front is yelling over the PA "Lady you must sit down immediately, we are seconds from landing".

This stupid woman got out of her seat and started up the aisle, I guess to go to the head? The woman got back to her seat literally less than 10 seconds before the plane touched down. I do not care if you have never flown, you know when the plane is about to land.  A glance out the window should  be a major clue, even at night. I have never seen an act of such stupidity in 20 years of flying.  This stupid bitch endangered herself and the passengers around her.

Every day I am reminded of some advise I was gifted by my first boss -- "Remember, HB, people are basically stupid".